SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to What Would Amber Do with your host, Amber Howard, your weekly dost of guidance, inspiration, and strategies to have your small business and whole life thrive. We bring you incredible guests who share their real life experiences of being an entrepreneur so you can have your whole life work. Now, here's your host, Amber Howard.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

Well, good morning, everyone. Welcome back to What Would Amber Do? I'm thrilled today to have Fatima Gould as my guest. Fatima is a coach and entrepreneur. She's a speaker and author of the book Over the Wall, which is one woman's story from Hell to Hope. Fatima spent three decades in the corporate world working in information technology and then transitioned to create her company Green Curtain, whose motto is there's hope for anyone at any time, at any age. Not only is Fatima an amazing businesswoman and entrepreneur, she's a mom and a wife, and she's also president of her Toastmasters Club, which I recently am excited to have joined. And you know, just really welcome, thank you for being here this morning, Fatima. Thank you, and good morning, Amber.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

And I just want to say we have two new additions to my family. We just got two new cats.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

That that I as a longtime pet owner, that is very brave of you, I must say. Um, what are their names? Uh Ruthie and Theo. Oh, so cute. Well, thank you for being here, Fatima. And you know, I just wanted, you know, given the message of your book, and and I think it really is, you know, of your company and everything you stand for, why why is hope so important to human beings? Like, why is it so important that we have hope?

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Because um, I believe that especially now in these unprecedented times that we're in with a pandemic and we don't know how long it's gonna last, people are beginning to be helpless and hopeless, that they don't know what's the next for them. Is there gonna be a global recession? Is there going to be famine? It's like people's brains are just going way out there to drum up the worst. And I think that now is the time is to motivate and instill hope for people because there's hope for anyone at any time and at any age. And I always say that I want to live a new utopia. I create this world that I have, that people always laugh at me and say, I remember my boss saying, uh, Fatima, I don't know what world you're in, but that will never happen. And I want there to be a place where people have affordable and sustainable housing, clean water, and food to eat. Those three things, those are my utopia. And I don't think that that's hard to do at all if we all come together as human beings with that hope.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

Yeah, and that's that's really a purpose that you and I share. And one of the things that, you know, I love about our relationship is that, you know, having, you know, my purpose being that we have a world where everyone has a safe and affordable home, you know, be a reality now, not, you know, some and I think it is possible. I know it's possible. Um so what had you, you know, a lot of the people who, the audience of the show are people who may or may not have been looking at transitioning out of the corporate world, or you know, they are they've already taken that step and they're, you know, newly business owners or entrepreneurs. What really had you choose to step away from? Like, you know, a lot of people, three, three decade, 30-year career in corporate, a lot of people would have just stayed in that place. What had you choose to create something new in your life?

SPEAKER_01 3:54

Well, it actually was really a conversation with my husband, Ron. We were like in our late 40s and mid to late 40s, and we decided what do we want to do for the next 20 years of our lives? I could continue to being in the corporate word, hoping and wishing one day somebody would see the talent in me to make me a supervisor, manager, or something like that. Or, and then Ron could continue to be a butcher, or we could break away and create our own legacy. And we really thought about it. We said we prefer to create our own legacy for our four kids. And why is legacy important to you, Fatima? Because we really want to, we uh we really want to leave something behind for our children, you know. You should at least leave something for at least three, four generations after you're gone. And I also wanted to, we also wanted to make our stamp in the world as Ron as a musician and me as an author, speaker, coach, wanted to leave our stamp in the world so that somebody one day would say, Oh, I remember her. She wrote this book. Oh, I remember them. He wrote amazing songs that uplifted us, and she left a message.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

It's a very powerful message, you know. It's a very powerful message. So over the last five years, it's been five years, right, since you left the corporate world.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

I think in 2000, maybe three to four. I don't think it's been five years. No, not five years. I think I left. Like the months and days have just ran around so fast. I was like, when was that? And I believe it was 2017. November, November coming up will be 2017, I believe. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Yeah. So over the last three years since you stepped away from that, you know, nine to five job, what's been unexpected? Like, what have you encountered that's been unexpected on that journey?

SPEAKER_01 6:02

What's been unexpected? That's a good question. What's been unexpected besides the cats? Um, besides the cat, because I didn't see myself as a as a pet owner, but what's been unexpected really actually is meeting the people that I've met. You know, you have a circle of of circle that you have, and I didn't expect that that circle would have grown as much as it has. Because now you're a part of that circle. You weren't a part of that circle when I started the journey. And there's so many, and Nina wasn't really a part of the circle when I started that journey. So there's so many people that I've met that wasn't a part of the journey that they are now. That's been unexpected.

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Yeah, they say that the people show up on the journey when you need them, right? So I think that's a really good point. Like as we actually step out and create the lives that we want, because that's part of what I really hear in what you're saying, is like following that conversation with Ron, like you were like, what do I want? Do I want to keep doing this? Do I can't, you know, and I I can so relate. I was there, you know, working in working in IT at the airport, applying for management positions, not getting the jobs and getting frustrated, and then watching other people who, you know, may or may not have been more qualified for positions and doing what I thought were all of the right things to get to get ahead. And none of them were coming to fruition. And and it was like, now I can see, you know, I think in that in the rear view mirror of our life, we can see things more clearly. Now I can see none of those opportunities came about because they just weren't for me. Because there's something else I was supposed to be doing. But you know, when you when we step into what we want and like take actions, like then the people that we we need to support us on that journey show up. You know, and they wouldn't have they didn't need to show up until you took, you know, it's like one of my mentors said, you don't actually need the money until you decide that you want the thing that you're gonna, you know, whatever that is, right? So until you actually make that decision and take actions consistent with what you want, the people don't need to be there. A hundred percent. I agree with that. Yeah, so good. So, what would you say to people, you know, the people listening to this right now who are wanting maybe something different, you know, and are looking to make that transition, you know, what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_01 8:34

I would say to anybody who really wants to make that decision is to go ahead, take the leap of faith. Right. And it's like what you just said the people, the places, the things will show up when you take the leap. And, you know, if it's something that you feel so passionate about down deep inside of your gut, and your intuition is saying, go for it, go for it, go for it, go for it, then do it. Don't go with the negative thoughts in your head or the people that you're gonna ask that you know they're gonna say, why do you want to do that? What's the purpose of that? You're gonna waste your time, you're gonna waste your money. Don't go to those people, but you know, go with that gut.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

Yeah. I love that you use the word faith because you know, you've been, you are for me, you know. When when I I have students at UFT who ask me, you know, how do you hire a good coach, right? Like, how do you know which coach to hire? And I always say to them, you look for someone who's a gap for you. You know, because it's like in an area of your life where you're looking to get developed, right? Or cause a breakthrough. And in the in the world of faith, you you you're a gap for me, right? I know you to be a woman of profound faith. And as I've been going through my own spiritual journey over the last, you know, 18 months, uh, I often look to you as someone who, you know, I aspire to be like because you are just so um sourced by your faith. And what difference has had like is having that made as you've gone through what can be the ups and downs of being a new entrepreneur and and business owner?

SPEAKER_01 10:13

Well, it it's make a it's made a huge difference because I tend to be an integrator of the things that I've learned and that I've heard heard that resonate with me. And so, you know, when you hear that, you know, God doesn't give you any more than you can bear, faith without works is dead. And then it's proven over and over and over in your life as a single mom, having to decide to sell my house, or where's our next meal coming from when I got let go of a job, and having people just show up with the food or a job just show up in time where I needed to pay the rent, and I've worked two full weeks, and there you go, there's the rent money, like the exact amount of money that I needed with some leftover. You tend to then create a place in your brain where you say faith works. It works, it works, it works. So then being an entrepreneur and stepping into that, I know that if I put faith behind it, the desire behind it, the actions behind it, it's gonna work because I've already seen it worked in my life.

SPEAKER_02 11:20

I love that. I recently like discovered that for me anyway, like the relationship between faith and confidence. Because I think, like, kind of what you're pointing to is like over time, when you've had enough, you've seen enough or collected enough evidence for the the faith works, right? I'm I'm reminded of my mom. We were very poor growing up in New Zealand. My mom would literally sit us down to the dining room table. She had no food to feed us. But she would like, she had enough faith to sit us down to the dining room table, and a neighbor would knock on the door and be like, here, Miss Howard, you know, here's the casserole. I was thinking about you. And the food would show up, you know. And as we collect more of that evidence, we see the work of faith in our lives. I think that that knowing, because confidence to me is a knowing, kind of like the Wright brothers had to have faith, you know, despite all of the criticism that they got from people, you know, these bicycle mechanics who said, no, we're gonna, we're gonna create a plane and people are gonna fly, you know, and they had to have faith to take those actions and listen, right? And then after they had that first manned flight, they had confidence because it was like they knew they had a knowing. No one can take that away from you. And I think that's um it's really beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

100%. 100% is like we gather, we gather information over and over and over again to, you know, to satisfy our desires for something that's negative. You know what I mean? Oh, like I won't get that job. Why won't you get that job? Because somebody else will get that job. And then eventually somebody else gets that job. It's like that self-fulfilling prophecy. So why can't I or you or anybody else who's being wanting to be an entrepreneur have that self-fulfilling prophecy that it can work?

SPEAKER_02 13:12

Yeah. It's like the what if, right? Like so often the what if is followed by some negative statement, like, oh, what if it doesn't work out? Or what if I, you know, what if I lose my money, or what if I lose like, but well, what if it is better than you could ever imagine? Like what if every yeah, like what if everything comes true? Your dreams, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:31

I I love that. And so stepping away from the corporate world was amazing because what if it did work out? What if I could create that I'm sitting in my home office and there's a snowstorm outside, and I don't have to then have the car be stuck. Ron and I walk to the bus stop, we get on the bus, and it takes me three hours to get to Scarborough. What if I become an entrepreneur and I don't have to do that? And it was a what if. What if there's a pandemic hit three years later, and I don't have to get on three buses and take three hours to get to work to expose myself to the virus? What if it works out and I can do all that from home? So what if and now it's working out?

SPEAKER_02 14:16

Yeah, and it's like, you know, that I know this is a value that you and I share in common, you know, like gratitude and just being so grateful. I think, you know, not to discount the challenges that a lot of people have gone through it during the pandemic and the impact that it's had on people's lives. And if we choose, because it really is a choice, right? We can have gratitude at any time, right? And so now that the world has become much more comfortable being online, right? Like this is like in terms of technology, there was a barrier for a while, right? With people being comfortable being online, people being comfortable shopping online, um, like Zoom conferences, like it was becoming more of the norm inside the corporate world, but outside. So, what difference does that make for you as an entrepreneur and coach now? That the world is kind of becoming more and more comfortable with, you know, being online?

SPEAKER_01 15:13

Well, it's just catch-up. Finally, the world is catching up to what I was doing, anyways, because being an entrepreneur and being a coach and being um all the things that I do do, it's online. The only thing that wasn't online was actually going to chapters and indigo and coles bookstores to do a book signing. So those were actually in person, but I was also offered the opportunity as an author and a storyteller to go to the Orangeville Library and do a coffee conversation and books. And they switched it to online. So now everything is just catching up.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

Speaking about books and, you know, talk to me about, you know, talk to us about the words with Fatima. You know, you've been going live for on Facebook for I don't even know how long now. It's gotta be well over a hundred days. Uh, and and breaking down words. Talk to me about like where did that come from? What is that all about?

SPEAKER_01 16:19

Well, I started it in March. So when the pandemic hit, it was like being a motivational speaker, it was like got downloaded to me. Like, what are what am I going to do in order to help calm people and keep people in a mindset of positivity instead of doom and gloom? So then I was like, okay, let's go on and pray for, you know, the frontline workers, anybody who's getting sick. And then from there, it was like, okay, why don't you start to break down words, turn them into an acronym, and then come up with different ways of describing those words and unique, and then weave them together so people like have an aha moment. So when they're in a in their head in a space of, oh my God, when is this gonna end? They can now think of the word like hope or help or God or grace or gratitude, any one of those words differently. So literally, it was just like the 90-day coaching program. It was just a download. I was in meditation and I got a word that says, do this and do it like this, this, this, this, this. And because I'm such a believer in God, not a believer in religion per se, but spiritual belief that there's a connection, there's a higher being, there's somebody out there that creates the universe for us, and that that speaks to us. And so when that speaks to you and that's your gut feeling, and you feel it, the ideas will always come because I've never been stopped. When I thought, okay, I'm done with the words now, I get another inspiration to keep going, whether it's a series, because now I've done a series on love, a series on faith, a series on hope. Now I'm doing a series on self. And then I was reading something today, and the next series is going to start with the word inner, inner peace, inner being. And it'll be looking inward.

SPEAKER_02 18:19

I love that. And what's the like as you continue to do this? Is are you gonna be turning this into a book? What's the what's the plan for this as you go forward?

SPEAKER_01 18:30

So that's a good idea because any entrepreneur worth their salt is going to think of any inspiration, any vision, any idea, and turn that into something that is monetized. 100%. So what I'm gonna do with it next is I want to create a book. And so about I think I'm at 130-something days. So that's I'm gonna create a book of um, it's gonna be messages for hope, is what the book will be entitled by me. And then I'm gonna put it all together with the definitions and how I've broken down the words, it's gonna be neat, and then I'm gonna find pictures to insert. Maybe every couple of pages will be an um will be a picture because Ron likes to take pictures. So I'm gonna enroll him into putting the pictures in the book, and then I'm going to turn them into a podcast. So part of my 90-day coaching program is gonna have when you're stuck or when you're feeling uninspired, click on a word for today, the week, the month to help inspire you, and it'll be part of the program, and then I'll record it and it'll be a podcast. So good.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

So, you know, you say any like about monetizing things. And I, you know, for me, that's really about impact, right? Because we're, I think as entrepreneurs, you know, small business owners, we're always looking how how can we impact as many people as possible, you know, and so yeah, that's that's the the looking, right? When it's like, well, how can I monetize this? It's not just about, you know, the money, and money's great, but it's also about how can I reach as many people as possible. And I and I love what you're talking about. So talk to me about the 90-day program. You know, what is this coaching program and what are people gonna get out of participating in it?

SPEAKER_01 20:25

Yeah, um, and then the other thing I wanted to say about monetizing as entrepreneurs, that's something that we cannot get away from. Because then we would have to say to ourselves, really, what is the point? Because you actually do need money to put money into a business to make money. So to throw us to skirt around it and say, oh, yes, there's people impact, but there's monetary impact that allows you to grow and develop and then be able to do more out there. You know, give give some of it away. You can you can go by that motto of you can save some, spend some, and give some away. And that's how I normally feel about things. So yeah, my mind always goes like, how can I monetize this? Because I need to save some, spend some, and give some away. Because I believe that you have to fill up your your reservoir, mind, body, spirit, soul. And then you can give from the overflow. But if you look in your coffers and there's nothing there, how can you create even more? You can't, right?

SPEAKER_02 21:30

So, yeah, it's okay. But like Wallace Walters, uh, Waddles in The Science of Getting Rich talks about that, right? I I really I'm I could talk about that book every day. Like, I wish every child had access to that knowledge. And, you know, but that like really the goal of being wealthy is, you know, it's all inside of we're here to fulfill a purpose. And and God wants us to be wealthy so that we can, you know, give and create more and and and share that with other people. Right. So I I 100% agree with you. And that's been a big part of my journey as an entrepreneur as well, is like actually transforming my relationship to wealth and money. Because I used to have it, like I really used to have it, like you could make a difference or you could have money. And and and that was such a lid. And not true. It was just one of those things, those limiting beliefs that I had picked up through my life and and and walked around with like that. That was some truth.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

Right. But as an entrepreneur, you would make money to make the difference. Yeah. And that's how it is, one 100%. And you know, and the 1% of the 1% of the 1% that has the world's wealth knows that. I'm not sure, and I'm sure there's the 1% of the 1% who does have that philosophy, you know, save some, spend some, give some away, and who are doing that and find that they create more when they do that. You know what I mean? So it's it's a conversation. But to answer your question about the 90-day program, so the 90-day coaching program, again, it was a download and it was something that was supposed to be very simple. I don't like things convoluted, I don't like things that have a gazillion steps and it's all flowery and fluffy, but there's no substance to it. So when I looked at it, um, people who want a structure to be an action to accomplish their goals and dreams, it's as simple as that. And when I look at it, then I said, okay, it has to be smart, it has to be simple, measurable, obtainable, realistic, and timely. Now, how can I create that for somebody? And what are the processes that we can do in having them get that? And how can we retrain their brain to make it simple? Because the minute they make something very convoluted, they won't take any actions. So when I speak to them, I take all that stuff that's going on going on in the brain that's really complicated and just make it simple. How can we make it simple? How can we make this measurable? How can we make it obtainable? How can we make it realistic? And how can we make it timely? And we do that over 90 days.

SPEAKER_02 24:23

That's really that's really great. I love that. So who would be, you know, your ideal person to participate in this program?

SPEAKER_01 24:31

So the ideal person, and and I call it the transition and leadership coaching program. So if you are transitioning from being corporate like I did for 30 years, to being an entrepreneur then, or a small business owner, then I'm somebody you would like to talk to to say, okay, I've got all these big ideas. Now, how can we make it simple? How can you take 20 things that you know you have to do and break those 20 things down over the next 90 days so that you're accomplishing them? So small business owners, entrepreneurs, anybody making that transition would be my ideal client. Really great. And then that's a professional level, and then because it's also on the personal level. So on the personal level, if somebody that's transitioning to being a single mom, which I have, how can we take all the things that you have to be now responsible solely as a single mom? How can we break those down into bite sizes over 90 days so that your life is manageable? Or if you are a single mom transitioning to somebody who's married, which I have, how do you then take your world of one and become two? There's a lot to give up inside of that. Well, I wouldn't say a lot to transition in there to making your your world become about two. And if you're a blended family, there's even a lot more to consider.

SPEAKER_02 26:11

Yeah, they don't write a lot of books on blended families. Well, they didn't anyway, back in the day when I was one. It's a very um complicated, like complicated relationships, you know. Yeah, and and full of blessing as well. That's so great for Tima. And I love that I love that people can because what I hear, you know, the work that I do, it's all around like from the world of corporate speak, it's like where I'm analyzing someone's current state. Like, where are they today? Where is it that they want to get to? Helping them, you know, sometimes they know what that future state is, they know what, you know, they know what the goal is. Sometimes they don't have that clarity. And then it's like we're playing in the gap, right? So, what are the gaps between where you are now and where you want to get to, and what are the solutions that we need to create in order to close those gaps? So, you know, I I just really love what you're creating, and and I know that so many people are really gonna resonate with like simplifying it. You know, how do we get you from where you are today to where you want to get to as quickly and as simply as possible? And I'm gonna provide you a structure to do that, and and I know who you are, like the accountability, right? Because I think that's key. And you know, accountability is our insurance against failure. So, you know, yeah, really great. So, what were some of the gaps that you have like had to close for yourself in your transition? For which one?

SPEAKER_01 27:34

From yeah, good point. Yeah, now that I say that to you, I realize I've had to transition to all those spaces.

SPEAKER_02 27:43

You have, and more for sure. You know, as someone who you know moved here from from Barbados, like you've there's been a lot of transitions in your life that you've had to manage a hundred percent. Um, so specifically the transition from working in the corporate world to being an entrepreneur, you know, what and maybe there were gaps that you you knew about or could and anticipated, or maybe there were gaps that was like, wow, I didn't like that kind of hit me by surprise. I didn't even think that that was something I would need to manage.

SPEAKER_01 28:11

So the one the one gap that comes to mind is being at home. And then, you know, I could be right now, you could be seeing me. I got on the nice necklace, I got on the nice uh blazer, got my makeup done, but I'm in pajama bottoms. Like that was the thing. I remember doing, I remember doing, and uh here's telling one of myself, I remember doing a call, a Skype call with a bunch of executives at a hospital in Barbados. The top was like, but don't forget, do not stand up because we have the bottom. That is the transition right there. To be able to get up, eat breakfast, shower, put on clothes, and walk downstairs and transition my brain from home to home office. That was something that was really challenging at first. Very, very, very challenging. And then to just stay focused, focus on the things that I needed to get accomplished that day, because there isn't anybody, a boss hovering over you, or you've done that yet, monitoring your calls, or you know, you're on that call too long, or you know, there isn't that. So the self-monitoring and the getting up every day and making the transition that I'm going from bedroom to home office.

SPEAKER_02 29:40

Yeah, that discipline is key. Um, yeah, and really good. So talk to me. Uh this is from the book. So you should everyone should get a copy of Over the Wall. It's an amazing book. It's an amazing story, it's upside down. But like, really, like such um such vulnerability and authenticity in your story is just, you know, uh, it's really for me, it's a story of overcoming and it's a story of persistence, and and it really is a story of faith and love. So everyone should definitely get a copy and read the book, and you'll be able to get links to all of that on the the website with information about Fatima. But talk to me about prep, because that's a big conversation in the book. And and you know, like and I think Fatima didn't know I was gonna be having this conversation, it was just there to say. But I think you're pointing to it, right? Like you're pointing to prepping for your day, like as an entrepreneur, getting dressed up, you know, like showing up. I I had a call with a coaching client recently, and you know, one of her launches hadn't gone gone the way that she wanted to, and she showed up on the call and she was like a mess. And I was like, What are you doing? You have five minutes, go get changed, and then come back and talk to me. Like, you're the CEO of your own company. Like, don't, you know, so talk to me about prep and prepping.

SPEAKER_01 30:59

So that I I discovered that that had that's loaded. Like the book is loaded with so many things, and prep and prepping could mean so many different things. It's like prepping for your day to come to work, it's like prepping to have a call, like how we got up today and we look amazing and we look beautiful. We had to prep. And prep is also part of self-care. If we really break it down in the book, what I'm talking about is self-care. And what that was in the book was prepping to go out on dates, because when I became single again, I had to um prep myself. I had to do my hair, do makeup, I had to put on like sexy lingerie. And then I realized, wait a minute, as much as it was for the other person who wasn't going to see it, it was for me to feel a certain way about myself, to have self-confidence, to feel like you've got this. You now, you're now the owner of your life. And there's so much that you have to offer, whether it's getting my eyebrows done or my face waxed or my nails done, or, you know, whatever it is that you need, soaking my feet, whatever it is that you are prepping for, it is about the self-care and the self-confidence that comes with that self-care. And that's really what prepping is.

SPEAKER_02 32:20

I love that. Like even when you talk about prepping for meetings, right? Like setting an intention, you know, why are I, why, why are both parties on this call? Like, what are we here to accomplish? Right. Um, I think that and it goes back to the whole conversation for me about planning as well, right? Because good prep work is part of planning. And I and I love, because I've really had, and I know Fatimi, you've been a big part of that journey around self-love and self-worth for myself over the last three and a half years, you know. Um, it really does uh start here with us, right? And I, you know, I've really stepped into and taken on like what you say about filling up my own cup and then then serving from the overflow. And that's not how I live my life up until, you know, even I'd say the beginning of COVID. It was a lot of like doing what I thought I should do or what, you know, what I thought other people would want, people pleasing, and and the the transformation, what becomes available when we like actually are living our life from our purpose from what we want, like our expression of our purpose for us. Um, it I've just like so much more is available. You have so much more to give from the overflow when you're taking care of yourself than I did when I was like grinding it out and and not taking care of me.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

A hundred percent. And one of the lives that I did was about being selfish, and I reversed it. It was about being selfish for you, for yourself. How are you taking care of your needs? Because when we do the running around for our kids, when we do the running around for our spouses, when we do a running around for business partners, and then we get sick, and then we're depleted, and we're tired, and then we're cranky. Nobody gets the best of us. They get our cranky selves, they get our upset selves, they get our stressed out selves. And then I realize, yeah, there's only so much I can do for my kids, especially when they become adult children. And the contention is what? Don't you know your mom, you're supposed to cook, you're supposed to clean. No, no, no. You're now at the stage where you're not a baby anymore. There are things you can do for yourself. I have to preserve myself now. Because when are you, and I always say this to them, you know, when I get older and it's time for you to change my diapers and feed me, how is that gonna work? So, and there's like, and then my son was like, I pray to God it never really happens for your sake. I'm like, what? Like, come on. So then I have to go back and say, when he says that to me, how am I going to preserve myself?

SPEAKER_02 34:58

My daughter has made it clear for Tima, she's hiring me a nurse. She's like, I'm never changing your diaper, but I will make sure you have the best personal support workers ever. I'm like, thanks, Kayla. I love you too.

SPEAKER_01 35:10

But yeah, no, it's what I'm saying, but we we give and we give and we give them, we give, and that's the response that I have. Like, I would say to my mom, I've always said to my mom and my grandmother, who lived to be 103, I will look after you because that's what's ingrained in me is to look after, not to put you in a home and never visit you. Why wouldn't I look after you? And my mom thinks it's an unrealistic thing of this age. And I said, no, but if you raise up a child to believe that, then when the time comes, they will do that. So, you know, Kayla and my two could say whatever they want, but because we are the example for them, I doubt she'll be sticking you anywhere, especially if she knows you're not going to be taking care of property. She'd be like, that's my mom. I need to take.

SPEAKER_02 35:57

Yeah, I think you're pointing to values, right? And it is, I think I agree. I mean, whether she changes the diaper or not, or I live in her basement and I've got someone else doing it, like I got no doubt, you know, that both of our children, you know, all of our kids are will live from the values that they were raised with, right? And I also love though, like someone recently, like I am in the process of reading The Untethered Soul and that whole notion of being an observer in your life, right? And and someone recently introduced me to the idea that you could take like a thought or a value that you, you know, because so much of the time we get raised with these things, and then and sometimes they don't serve us. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, but then you could actually like objectively look at your thoughts or your values or your beliefs or your paradigms and go like hold it in your hand and be like, Do I do I want that? Does it serve me? Do you know, or is it time to like say thank you and you know, express gratitude for whatever that got you to where you are today and create something new? So I love that. Um, like through all of this, I think it's a lifelong discovery of self.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

100%. And you know, and that's the other thing that COVID has brought up for people like for you and I, who are in that that that space where our parents are still alive and our kids are still young enough that they need taking care of. So we are the bridge between the two, right? That's where we, that's where our generation is at right now. We still have to do both. And inside of doing both, what COVID has exposed is some of these homes aren't looking after the elderly as well as they should be. And then our kids are gonna wake up and say, but that's not how I would want my mom to live. And we are looking like that's not how I would want my parents to live. And so we're gonna I think that it's a dispose of that and we're gonna do better.

SPEAKER_02 37:58

Yeah, I and I love that you said that, right? It's like we can't change the past. And like I think you're a hundred percent right. My brother and I talk about it all the time, not just in terms of our relationship too and the way we honor or don't honor our elders, you know, or the what the things that we've kind of tolerated or turned a blind eye to, as well in the education system. You know, there's now an opportunity. Like I watch it, my you know, my 14-year-old son Keegan, like he's basically they're they're tailoring education to individuals, like more and more through COVID as they're having to look at how do we serve all of these people. Some and I'm like, I've been wanting that for the education system for a long time. Like, why you know, we have all of this technology, we have all of this knowledge, we understand that you know, boys and males and females learn differently. Why aren't we doing more to tailor curriculum and to tailor the learning experience? So I think, you know, when we once we become aware of it, once we become aware of something, then we can do better, right? And until and I think you're right, COVID has really driven up a lot in terms of our awareness of things that you know we hadn't seen before.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

Or that we've seen, but we've just buried them into our subconscious. Now they're becoming to the conscious, now they're becoming a thought, then we're putting an emotion to it, and then we're voicing it.

SPEAKER_02 39:20

Yeah. And I think that's part of the reason why hope and faith are so important, right? Because I think a lot of times what people don't, uh, why they we do turn a blind eye to things is we feel powerless. Like people may feel like we can't impact those things or they're too big or it's not for us, someone else will take care of it. And I think hope and faith, you know, really is an access to being able to step into our own power. Yep, 100%. Yeah. Well, I've so enjoyed being with you this morning, Fatima. Thank you so much. Is there anything I didn't ask you that you would like that you would want to talk about or you'd want to share or say?

SPEAKER_01 39:55

Um, no, I think we've covered every part of it, me being an author, a speaker, a coach. We've covered everything. And the only thing that I would want to leave people with is that, you know, there is hope for anyone at any time, at any age. We can at any point in time press that reset button. We can press the reset button anytime because we're the ones, we are the ones, and God are the ones who are in control. It isn't anybody outside of us. You can't control what's going on over here in my house, in my head, in my body, my mind, my spirit, my soul. That's all up to me. And at any time, I can press the reset button for whatever it is that I want in my own heart's desires.

SPEAKER_02 40:43

Amazing. I love that. Nothing left to be said after that. Thank you so much, Fatima. It's just such a blessing to always be with you. Uh, you can check out everyone listening. You can check out all of Fitima's links and stuff at whatwoodamberdo.com. And uh have an amazing day. Okay, thank you. Bye-bye.

SPEAKER_00 41:03

Thank you so much for joining us for this week's episode. For show info, visit what would Amber Do.com. And for information about Amber Howard and Associates' offerings and services, visit amberhowardinc.com.