SPEAKER_00 0:02

With Amber Do. With your host, Amber Howard, your weekly gym host of guidance, inspiration, and strategies to have your small business and whole life thrive. We bring you incredible guests who share their real life experiences of being an entrepreneur so you can have your whole life work. Now, here's your host, Amber Howard.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

Good morning, everyone. Welcome back to What Would Amber Do? Thank you for joining. I'm very excited this morning to have my guest, Deborah Chaney. Did I say that right? No, it's Cherry. There you go, I got it wrong right off the get-go. Good morning, Deborah. Deborah is a life coach, Reiki master, teacher, author of the book She Rises for Tomorrow, an intuitive who is passionate about leading her, living her best life and supporting others in doing the same. So, Deborah, thank you so much. She's also a mom. We're going to talk about that as well because that's something we share in common. And just thank you so much for being here on the show today.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

Yeah, really good. I wanted to, you know, often on the show we talk about that transition from, you know, whatever you were doing before in your career to becoming an entrepreneur. And I'd love for you to share with us like what was that journey like for you? And you talk about, you know, it being a journey of healing, inspiration, and empower and empowerment.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

Yeah. Um, so my family used to own a bus company. I worked there for 18 years, and I was VP and very much had visions of, you know, being one of, I guess, the the first female um bus representatives on some of the Ontario boards. And like I had visions of that. And we ended up selling at the end of 2018, which I took very hard. It's one of those things that, you know, we just we maybe didn't have the succession planning down to where it needed to be. And, you know, that's typical for family-run businesses, right? The forward thinking um just wasn't necessarily there. And so we ended up selling um because it was in the best interest for my dad and my uncle to do so. And I took it pretty hard. Um, I stayed on uh through the transition with the the new company, but going into work honestly was um there was this feeling in the pit of my stomach, it almost like was a nausea, nause, nauseous, sorry, feeling. And I couldn't um I couldn't do it anymore, and I ended up going on my own eat pray love journey to Bali, and I came back and I quit, and I didn't really have a plan. I probably left uh a little too soon, but you know, that's where the growth and learning is. And I started working with um a spiritual coach, and I also was working with a mindset coach, and that that was kind of my segue into my my coaching journey. Um, yeah. So it was uh yeah, a leap of faith is an understatement.

SPEAKER_02 3:17

I took a similar leap of faith when I left my full-time job. So I I really do get that. I think and I can only imagine, Deborah, you you know, going into work every day to the company that your family used to own, and you had all of these visions for what your leadership would look like in that space. And so that that would have been challenging.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

It was, yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

What was it? And I'm curious about Bali. So it's been on my vision board for a while. There's a tree house that you can rent on Airbnb, that it's like, oh yeah, I'm going. And 2021, it's happening. But what did you discover in that in that space, in that time when you were in Bali that gave you the the courage, the, you know, whatever, the impetus to say, you know what, just no more. I'm not. And I think for many entrepreneurs, we have that moment where it's like, I just am unwilling to keep doing things the way I've been doing them before. Some people do it with a plan, some not, but I think there is always I I love what you say, a leap of faith. Um, you know, can you speak to that?

SPEAKER_01 4:16

Yeah, sure. Um, so before I went to there was the sale of the company, there was a relationship that dissolved, and and I I honestly wasn't in a good space. And this trip to Bali was a self-love retreat, and it was like full, full days of there was meditation, there was exercise, um, Yulades, um, you know, vegan eating. It was really a journey back to me. And I just remember sitting in Bali and and, you know, I was baptized by a Balinese priest. I went to waterfalls, I drank the holy water, I did, I did, I did everything. And I would definitely recommend going to Bali. It was like so incredible. The energy there is just something out of this world. And when I came back, I I just remember going into work and I I just I didn't want that feeling. Like your body is a compass, and when you don't listen to it, you're gonna get sick. And I think if I continued probably on my journey, I I was I was probably gonna get sick. I couldn't, I could barely eat. Um, like I physically couldn't go into work anymore. And that was just a light bulb moment. I'm like, I can't do this. I felt so good and bali, and and when I came back, I I just had this incredible zest for life and I was feeling good in my skin, and I I I just didn't want to feel like that anymore. I couldn't do it. You know, it's the the rat race of um, you know, having kids and in competitive sports and you know, running here, there, and everywhere. And I just I couldn't do it. Or I chose not to. I guess I chose not to do it.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

Yeah, you I think what I can hear is you one, you definitely chose you, which I think is part of uh, you know, the defiding moment that many of us have. And I and it's interesting, right? Because what I can hear is there was a contrast. You took that time to go to Bali and your energy shifted, and then you came back, and it that just the alignment was even like it was probably all of those things were present before Bali, and then you came back and it was just such not a match for what you discovered, for who you become during that experience. And it I think that's really important to do that, because I think sometimes we become so in it in our life the way it is, that if we don't, and it, you know, for for anyone listening, it may not be a trip to Bali, whatever that is for you, but to gift yourself the opportunity to have different experiences, to be able to then have see the contrast and go, whoa, hold on a second here. Like my existence is not like I'm not loving my life.

SPEAKER_01 6:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:57

Yeah. I think we become numb to not loving our lives because that's just the way life is. And and we're just doing all of the things that we we should do or are expected of us or we think are the right things to be doing. And uh so I really acknowledge you one for having the courage to take that journey and then for that leap of faith, because it does, it takes a lot of courage to be an entrepreneur.

SPEAKER_01 7:20

We um we become complacent in in our lives and and just go with the status quo and not not even recognize or or you see other people doing other things and and you think that you can't have that, or you think that that's too far out there, out of your your realm, and and it's really not the case. Like you really, really can thrive and be successful in whatever you want to do if you have if you have the mindset to do so for sure.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

Yeah, let's talk about mindset. So you and I share a mindset mentor and coach in Danielle Amos and the Thinking into Results program. And what you just said really reminded me like that whole piece about looking out and seeing other people with, you know, maybe they're further ahead in the game, or we, you know, that comparison that we do as human beings. And I'll never forget early on when I first met Danielle, one of the things that she said, and I'm sure she said it multiple times, is when you feel those your you experience, you know, jealousy, envy, you're in that space of comparison. Just stop, ground yourself in gratitude for what you do have, because you're never gonna get more if you're not grateful for what you have right now. And then bless the other person's success because you wouldn't even be seeing their success if it wasn't coming for you.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

And so, yeah. Yeah, I think that gives a lot of freedom and a lot, and and for us to actually like be in a spirit of creation with other human beings versus the place where a lot of people come from from business. And I and I still, having been in the corporate world for 20 years, it's still very much the language of my people around me and and like saying, No, like I'm not competing with other people, I'm creating what I want, and there's enough for all of us, right?

SPEAKER_01 9:15

Absolutely. Absolutely infinite supply for everybody.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

We all get to live the life, our best life.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

And it's it's interesting um that that you and I share that mindset, but you hear of so many people, even in um COVID, Schmobid, um, thinking, oh, the like the rich are just getting richer. But the the truth is there's there's enough to go around for everybody. If you want it, you can grab hold of it.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

Yeah, and that's been a huge, and I'm still you for me, my paradigms around money and and and all of that is I think we we build up, we get first we inherit a set of beliefs and points of view about money and wealth from our parents and them from their parents, like you know, this these lovely gifts that keep getting handed down in generations and families. And then we because we believe that that's what we see, and that's what keeps showing up over and over and over again in our lives. And so then that just more, more and more reinforcement. And I love that Danielle says the quality of your life is given by the quality of your the questions that you ask. So, well, is is are those beliefs true? Like actually, like the untethered soul, he talked Michael Singer talks about being the observer in your life, holding your beliefs in your hand, and being like, is that actually true? Do I want to believe that? Is that serving me?

SPEAKER_01 10:37

Right. Yeah, good. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 10:41

So you talk about following your inner compass. And you mentioned compass earlier, that you know, inside of us, each of us has our own inner compass. How do you use your inner compass to guide you in making decisions in your business?

SPEAKER_01 10:58

Um, I would say I guess your inner compass is almost like it's like your gut feeling. You know if it feels right. Your bot, your body is like this internal thermometer almost, and you you know, you know something feels right. You know if you're making a decision and it feels right and it feels good, and you also know if you make those choices, you get this like gut feeling, and it's it's telling you to veer the other way. But you and every time that you continue to go the other way versus what your compass, there's always growth and lessons along the way. But if you follow your intuitive nudges, whether it's a gut feeling, um sometimes um I I guess like I ask a lot of questions to my guides, I guess, if you will. So I'll ask a question like, should I go this way? Should I go that way? And whether it's in the form of a sign, um, and like I'm saying, like a billboard sign along the highway, like, should I do this? Give me a yes or a no, might be a song on the radio that that has something to do with the question that you're asking. But there's always like this intuitive nudge that that I ask for. And and it's inherent in in everyone, whether you meditate and get whispers or get visions or get pictures, it's it's inherent in everyone. It's just how much are you willing to tap into it and how much are you listening to your body, because your body really will give you, I guess, nudges, if you will, like these little gut feelings, if it's right, if it feels right, if it's something that you're supposed to be doing. And you know, when you meet someone, um, you just get a gut feeling about them. Like that's what it is. It's like that gut feeling. You know if it's right, you know if it's wrong.

SPEAKER_02 12:49

Yeah, I think the second part to that is like listening, right? So I as I've been doing this work in mindset over the last six months, I can hear the intuition more. But what I really get is like the intuition comes, and then like right after it, almost immediately, is all of the paradigms, the default beliefs, you know. So you all have a thought to call someone, or you know, you could like anyone listening, you have a thought to call someone. Oh, I should call my aunt, or I, you know, I wonder how this person's doing. And you'll be like, oh, that it's the middle of the work day, they're busy, you know, they've got a lot on their plate. I'll do it later. And and we get, we allow, you know, we can allow that that default paradigm or context or thinking to to displace the intuition. I think I am really getting it's a muscle that we need to build.

SPEAKER_01 13:41

Absolutely.

unknown 13:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

Nobody can do it.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

So you have a a gift that you give people who connect with you, the six steps to a positive mindset. Where did that come from? And and was that part of your journey in Bali, or has that been something you've been developing over time?

SPEAKER_01 14:02

No, I think that's really something that's um obviously with the the mindset work. Um and I I think it's it's something that people don't think about. Like you see positive, happy people, and you think, oh, they like, gosh, they they just radiate joy. But most of those people are doing things every day to maintain a high vibration. And I I don't think a lot of people recognize that there's really simple steps if you if you want to have a positive mind frame. Um, it's a conscious choice to be in a positive mindset, but there's also things that you can do in order to maintain that throughout the day, and and then it just becomes a habit.

SPEAKER_02 14:49

It's kind of like when you're working out and the things that you can do to help you like be more successful at maintaining that that routine. So, what are the six steps to developing a positive mindset, Deborah?

SPEAKER_01 15:02

So the first one, actually, I was going through these, and actually, number six is gratitude, but I think gratitude should actually be number one. Um, because when you come from a place of gratitude, you're instantly raising your own vibration and um you attract more good things to you. So I do think gratitude should actually be number one, but it's number six on my list.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

Well, you're leaving them with the best thing last. And I I actually a hundred percent agree. It's it's an instant reset, like you know, for for me, grinding myself in gratitude, and it's it's a practice.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

And there's and you can find gratitude in anything, like it doesn't have to be something huge, it doesn't have to be a gift, it doesn't have to be anything that anything big, like be grateful for a sunny day, the grass outside. Like there are so many things that you can find gratitude um with throughout your day and being present in the moment.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

Okay, yeah, and even at like getting getting to the point where you can have gratitude for when things don't go the way that you expect them to go. Like if you choose to believe, and I think you and I, I know I do, and I believe that you do as well, that everything that happens to me is unfolding for my greatest good and for my ability to be able to fulfill all my purpose, why I was created, then even when things don't go quite as I expected them to, I can have, I can be grateful for that the universe, God, whatever, is is re you know, putting me on the right path, or you know, because something may, we may think we want something because we get attached, like, and I know I do, we get attached to what it looks like to have X result in our life where the universe is like, no, there's an easier way, Amber. And I'm like, no, no, no, man, let's let's do it the hard way. I like the hard way. And the universe, really, do you want to keep doing it the hard way? So I think being able to have gratitude for when the sales don't come on that new product or that good or service, because there's actually an easier way for you to be making, you know, meeting your financial goals. And, you know, that time that you're not spending doing things the more difficult way, you can spend creating in other capacities with your family or, you know. So I think that having gratitude for all of it, uh, and it takes something at times to have have gratitude in those moments when things don't go the way we want them to.

unknown 17:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:27

But we think we want them to. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

Yeah. And like the other day, there was a situation and it wasn't exactly what I wanted, and and I wasn't necessarily happy about it. And then I I so I allowed those feelings, but then I went to a place of what what good is coming from this. And it really came, you know, I had amazing friends. I like I just called three of them, but um amazing friends that that I was grateful for in that moment to like help me reset, or it's making me a stronger person to have to, you know, go through this situation. So there's still there's a silver lining in in everything. You just have to look for it.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

Yeah, yeah, I 150,000 percent agree with you. Okay, so are so we have journaling, and do you have any practices around journaling specifically?

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Is there like a time limit or you know, usually well, I do well, as you you know, because I'm sure you probably do the same thing. Um, I do I journal, so I do personal development every day. Um, and I do my gratitude every day. So I do five things I'm grateful for now and five things I'm grateful for um coming in. And then throughout the day, I I journal out situations as I'd like to see them. So even before I I hopped on with you, I either journal or sometimes I just visualize um how I'd like to how I'd like it to go and and how I want to show up and how you know I want to impact people. Or yeah, um, yeah, journaling's a huge, a huge thing. And it doesn't have to be long. It doesn't have to be a long um I think some people think, oh, journaling, you have to have like pages and pages. It doesn't have to be. It can be journaling what you're grateful for, what good came of the day, what you want to come. I think all those things are important.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

I um I like the time I spend in the morning now on me before I start my day. And that wasn't consistent for me up until July of this year. And it was aspirational for much of my life. Oh, yeah, that's that's a good idea, I'll do that. But and now the time that I spend studying, reading, listening to, you know, uh abundance meditations, Bob Proctor's one is the one that I'm really enjoying right now. Uh, it really does make a difference. And what I discovered this week in my studies is it can't just be, oh, I'm gonna like spend those five, 10 minutes doing gratitude in the morning and at the end of the day, then the for the rest of the day, I'm gonna be like, you know, at the effect of my mind and you know, getting triggered and activated. Like you have to carry, you know, it's great to do that work in the morning, and we got to carry that throughout our day and and build it up so it's not just, you know, it doesn't just because I think sometimes these practices can be, oh, like I checked off my to-do list, gratitude done, journaling done.

SPEAKER_01 20:39

Yeah, you have to maintain it throughout the day for sure.

unknown 20:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

And I carry like I carry notebooks with me all the time, and and I've I've used my journal to um to take situations um that I didn't like. So I wrote out, I write out the situation as it is, and then I write out the same situation as I'd like to see it. And then you you focus on what you want. And that's where that's where a pot positive mindset is really important because you're focusing on what you want, not what you don't want.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

Yeah, and that takes a lot of discipline. You know, the the book, The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace Waddles, he talks about like coming from that place of having something, even when you so it's like I want it to be abundance of wealth, and I have $10 in my bank account, so that the so-called reality of it is X, and that's I don't want the reality. And so being able to know that no, that the other is what I want, and keep your focus and your attention only on what you want when the reality, the so-called what we think is the reality of something can be quite the contrary. It takes a lot of willpower and mental discipline. And and you know, I know that we both have seen the benefit of doing that in our lives and for the people around us.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

Absolutely. Even when you don't have the physical necessarily. Manifestation of what you want. It's having the faith, um, the faith and I guess the persistence and will to keep your focus on on what you do want, even though it hasn't manifested yet. Yeah. Yeah. Um, mirror work. Yeah, that's another good one. Um there was a time when I I probably could, you know, there was a time that I couldn't look in the mirror and say, like, I love you. Or, you know, I I think we are so self-critical, I think, especially as women. I'm not saying that men aren't, but I think as women, we are so critical of ourselves and and wanting to be the perfect mom, the perfect spouse, the perfect um sister, brother, whatever, that we want to show up. And and I remember looking in the mirror and I'm like, what like, where did I go? Where where's this vibrancy that I used to have? So um, yeah, your self-image is so important and being able to love yourself and look in the mirror and do affirmations. I am worthy, I love you, all those things that are super important.

SPEAKER_02 23:06

Yeah. It's so funny to me. I I agree with you, and it's so funny to me that, like, not even I mean, maybe a hundred years ago, what it meant to be a good parent or a good mother was like the kids had a roof over their head, and for most parents, anyway, a roof over your head, you fed them a, you know, a few good meals a day. They they were safe. Like, and as time has gone on, you know, the standards for what being a good parent and the being a good child have just altered so much. And with it comes this enormous pressure that we put on ourselves to have life look a certain way, to show up a certain way, to be a good parent means my kids have to be in 15 curricular, extracurricular activities, and they have to be getting straight A's and and they have to be emotionally emotionally well balanced and they have to have all of the right manners, and and and um it it just I think sometimes in the space of that, it can even be like it can be difficult to even look at yourself because there's just so much pressure that we allow to get put on ourselves about how life should look, about how we should be showing up. And we don't, you know, all of the places where we should on ourselves, there's there's no there's no freedom there. And I do think it's impacting men more. I mean, I know like these standards of beauty and and what's attractive and and all of that, how men trying to understand their place in the world now that women are stepping more. I just had a conversation yesterday. I helped my friend move. And the gentleman who was who owned the moving company, we were chatting while I was helping him take a bed apart, and the whole thing about being a parent and and being single came up, and and he said, men don't know how to be with women anymore. And like in terms of what's the what their role is, and I and I just thought, yeah, so I think we see these impacts for both.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

That's really interesting. Yeah, I guess I never thought of it that way. As as women are showing up, yeah. Um, how that how they come together. That's interesting. It's an interesting dating world. It is.

SPEAKER_02 25:21

So mirror work, yeah. I remember being a teenager and my self-image was so off. Like my set, like I couldn't even, like, I didn't even see a human being in the mirror when I looked at myself. It's taken, it's taken something to be able to be with the human being on the on the other side, you know, and and just love myself, the good, the bad, and the ugly, all of it.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

It's a it's a tough thing. The hardest thing I think I've ever done for myself, and I think it's the hardest thing that anybody else can do is really look at yourself and really dive deep and really come to a place of acceptance and and really loving yourself and being compassionate with yourself through everything. I think it's the it's the starting point for your life, but it's the hardest thing that you'll ever do.

SPEAKER_02 26:12

Yeah, and and how much time and effort and energy do we spend as human beings? And I can speak for myself, avoiding being with ourselves and the busyness that we create in life, all of the attempts to not be bored or be productive so that we just don't have to be with the own our own voice in our head.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

Yeah, yeah. Huge.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

And the next one is inspiration. So um, yeah, listening to podcasts, like dancing, reading personal development books, anything that um yeah, I listen to a lot of um Abraham Hicks. That's kind of my go-to because I I just think she's amazing, but there's so many wonderful podcasts like yours that that really I guess make you think of things in a different way, or or maybe it's just that one message that you need to hear that day. It's like you listen to this one podcast, or you read this one book, and there's like that one message that you need to hear that day. And it just kind of sets the tone for your day and it keeps keeps you vibrating high.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

Yeah, I just thought of this as you were saying that if we don't allow, yeah, we can ask for the guidance, and everything we shows up we need shows up when we need it and when we're ready to use it. But if we're not expanding the sources that we listen to, then all we have is our own internal dialogue, and that thing's not usually very helpful. So finding whoever resonates with you, and that's going to be different at different times. I remember, and I I've shared this for a long time. I couldn't listen to Bob Proctor. I just wasn't ready for the conversation. My faith wasn't, and I couldn't, I didn't know it was that at the time.

unknown 28:04

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 28:05

But I just like it, he didn't resonate with me. And then I went on a journey of a journey into faith in 2019. And as my faith deepened, my ability to be with the conversation about manifesting thoughts, becoming things, and all of that that is so present in in Bob's work now became available to me. I can I mean, listen to him multiple times a day now. But I think part of it is also just allowing yourself to open up to outside other people and then finding who resonates with you.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. And there are like even on like I guess I would say like Abraham Hicks, she's pretty deep and might not be for everybody. So you might start with like a Gabby Bernstein or whatever resonates with you. Yeah, absolutely. You'll you'll find the perfect one. Yeah, really great.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

So what else can we do to maintain our positive mindset?

SPEAKER_01 29:04

It's um, yeah, I meditate for at least 30 minutes every day, every morning. That's how I start my day. And honestly, it's it's your I I guess it's you're with source. You're with you, you have all the unlimited source in meditation, and you're connecting to your higher self, and that's where you gain answers. And really, it's the perfect, it's the perfect way to actually raise your vibration is just to get quiet. And there's lots of different apps. Um, Insight Timer is a free app that you can download. There's guided meditations if you're not meditating already, even just a few minutes a day, it doesn't have to, it doesn't have to be 30 minutes, but it's there's so many benefits to to meditation. Like it's it's I I can't even say enough about it. I I love it. It's it's the best way to really come back. If even if you're having a bad day or a bad moment, even just taking a few minutes and just going within and you come out radiating. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 30:10

Yeah, I like what you said about the even if you're like throughout your day, I uh I've been doing these lives every day for around resilience. And we we want to be getting our our brains out of the sympathetic nervous system, right? That that nervous system will response when we're threatened in some capacity. It doesn't have to be life threatening, just the kids come in in your middle of work and they're like, Mom, can you drive me to this to my friends? And you're like, right? Like, whatever it is. You you know, you think there's gonna be gas in the car, and you go, you're late, you go and there's no gas. Someone's used all the gas in the car, and you have that immediate. And it it literally only takes 90 seconds for those short term for your brain to like come down to the parasympathetic set sympathetic system. So you I think meditating even for a couple minutes, breathing, grounding, exercise is great, all great ways to uh to make could because we don't make good decisions. Logic reason, our higher faculties are not available to us in our exercise.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

Yeah, so exercise. Exercise is um it just makes you feel good. It it makes it and it doesn't have to be like you don't have to be going for muscular tone, like just get out for a walk or 10-minute walk, 15-minute walk, just get your body moving and you'll feel so much better. What's your favorite way to exercise these days? Um, I'm a runner, so I love getting out for for a run. And I think um, yeah, I think I'm gonna train for another half marathon. So that's my favorite. That I just think there's something about getting outside. Obviously, being in nature as well is is so good. Um, but getting out for a run is one of my favorite things to do for sure.

SPEAKER_02 32:01

It it really is a mental exercise running, I've discovered. It's so I I wasn't a runner for the longest time in my life. I I I didn't I didn't even actually understand why anyone would choose to do that form of exercise. It just did not. My brain was like, it doesn't mean you know, you run to save your children from a burning car. You don't run for pleasure. And then I had a friend of mine, Lisa, who's just she loves running so much. Like she, and she's so enrolling about it. She's run the Boston Marathon, like she's just run so I she has so many medals from all of the the marathons, half marathons, ultra marathons that she's run. And and and uh I was teaching her about another area around leadership, and I was like, okay, well, she wants to contribute them to me in this way. So I started the learn to run program and I've done it twice now, and I ran a 7K, and uh and it really is a mental exercise because it's just it's just you and your own mind, and your mind's always gonna want to quit before your body will. So it's that constant pushing yourself to, I think, and expanding uh your mind to be able to just allow your body to do what your body is capable of doing.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

Absolutely. It is a huge mental muscle to run for sure. And then it's it's almost like you set, let's say you you start doing 5K. So you did seven. So now it's like if you don't do seven, then like you're this is what my mind does, then you're like you're selling yourself short if you don't do seven again. Or next time it's 10, and it's like you're constantly reaching further. Um but part of it too is just being out in nature while you're doing it. Um, I I I think I I love that aspect as well because it's so grounding being out there and your your feet hitting the pavement. Um, I don't know if there's something about it that uh I think is so important, but it doesn't have to be a run. You can get out and walk too, and it's equally as effective.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

Really good. Yeah, I I was training for a half marathon in 2020, and then I discovered I don't want to run for two and a half hours. It's just not my like, and I do like it. So I created that goal. We're still putting the plans together to do a um a triathlon in 2021 because I thought, okay, 1K swimming, I love water. I I have to get my bike game on because I don't know that I've ever biked for 20 kilometers. That that'll take something. And running for 10K, I've done 10K now, and I think that's a good amount of I could run that long and you know, so and we're saying we're putting it together an event where you can, as opposed to often you you donate to whatever one cause, everyone who participates will be able to donate to whatever cause they want to, and and then get some cool shirts and a medal or something, have it be fun. Yeah, really great. And then we already talked about gratitude. Um, so that's the sixth step. And so for you in your life, as you've taken on this practice regularly of these six steps to a positive mindset, and for your clients, like what difference has that made?

SPEAKER_01 35:22

Oh my gosh. Um yeah, so um I have one particular client who um when she came to me, she she was exactly as I was, um not happy in her job. And throughout all this work, throughout all these steps that she does on a on a daily basis, she's gone in a matter of, I guess, three months from being not really in a great spot into she wakes up every day excited for her life. And and the more that you continuously do this work, it then becomes a it becomes a habit and you want to feel good because once you start feeling good, you don't want to feel bad anymore. Like you you kind of go from this space of you don't want to stop doing this work and maintaining a great mindset because you know what it feels like before you started this work and you you know where you were and you don't want to go back there. Nobody wants to go back there. And you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings as you go about your day, and it's it totally shifts and transforms your life because you begin to want to really surround yourself with positive, like-minded people, and I think you can appreciate like the communities on which we've studied, and you you really become aware of who you surround yourself with and and the thoughts and and things that that people say. If they really understood the magnitude of what you think and what you speak, they probably wouldn't say half the things that they did. They do. And you really choose to want to surround yourself with really positive people.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

Yeah, I I definitely think finding those groups of people and and that that really hold you big and inspire you and uh keep you like make it just makes it that much easier to maintain that alignment with what it is that you're committed to when you're surrounding people yourself with like-minded people. And so in the the world of making life easier, and I had this friend mentor once, we worked together at the airport, Jeanette, amazing woman, and she she said you just start to vibrate at a different frequency, and sometimes with the people in your life or some of the people in your life, and it just doesn't serve either party to continue the relationship. And that was that was a challenge for me, I'll be honest, because I've been as one of those people who I love so deeply, and when I love people, it's like they matter to me, people matter to me. So this idea that somehow people would stop mattering, and I and I don't think it's that, it's just that you're just not in the same place anymore, and and being able to release each other so they wherever the other the people are at, they can surround themselves with people who are gonna, you know, be where they where they are, I think, is a gift.

SPEAKER_01 38:24

And it doesn't mean that if if somebody isn't in alignment with your vibration, because we're all vibrating at a uh certain levels, and you you seem to attract the people that are are matching, I guess, where you are, like you said, but that doesn't mean that somebody who's down here or maybe not resonating with you today, yeah, won't level up at it at another point. So it's kind of like the the s the different life cycles that we go through, and you know, we ebb and flow and and people grow and people change and some people don't want to, and that's okay. Um, but as long as as you're doing your best to maintain your high vibration, I I think that's important.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

Yeah. I would agree. And and I think people do come in and out of your life, as you said, in those cycles, right? And uh, and sometimes surprisingly so.

unknown 39:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:22

So in business, we talk a lot about finding your target market, right? Finding that your niche, you know, those people. I I think I prefer to talk about it in terms of like who are the people that who are the ideal people for me to serve inside of my purpose and what I'm here for. But you you serve single moms.

SPEAKER_01 39:43

I do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 39:44

Yeah. And like what what had you choose that group of people, or maybe they chose you to be of service to?

SPEAKER_01 39:52

I think um I've been a single mom for a really long time. And as I kind of went through my own journey, my own um self-discovery and all that, I really recognized um, and I'm I'm on a lot of the single mom sites on social media, and I see the conversations that a lot of people are having, and it's um it's being like angry, angry with your ex, um, exhausted. Um, you know, it's the the same stories that we're telling over and over and over again, and I recognized I was doing that. I was playing victim to my own story of being a single mom and and maybe not having a great relationship with my ex and poor, poor me. And I didn't even recognize that it all starts with me. Like I get to choose how I'm going to respond to a situation instead of, you know, there is a time where like one comment could like ruin my day or ruin my week, really, or going through the divorce process or like child support or any of those things, that could that could ruin me. I like I I hated it. Um, and that's the same story I was telling myself over and over. And now I come from such a different place of awareness. And like I said, the the thoughts and the things that we talk about are are so important. And I'm on these sites with single moms, and I'm like, you you you don't have to be in the situation that you are. Like you don't have to let this upset you, you don't have to let this consume you. You don't, you know, it yes, sometimes being a single mom has its challenges, but the more and more you just react to every situation, you're spinning your wheels, and that's where exhaustion comes from. So yeah, I I really did my own self-discovery and and yeah, I I I hate seeing these moms stuck into a place where I used to be.

SPEAKER_02 41:55

I think that's a great way to actually choose a target market or a group to serve, right? Is like you look at who you were three years ago, and because whenever you're hiring a coach, like that you want that person to be a gap for you. And like when I look at why I chose to be working with with Danielle, she's a gap for me in my mindset. So when I look at her, it's like she has qualities, she has ways of being and and doing and acting in the world that that I want to have for myself. So so I think if you look back at where you were three years ago, that's a great access to being able to, because you've got so much to contribute to people who were who are where you were, you know, a couple of years back. So, and I I agree I with you a hundred percent. And I was there myself with in my relationship with the fathers of my children. And I really do believe that we don't win unless everyone around us is winning, and you can't hold on to that bitterness and the resentment and that victim nature, regardless of how the relationship went, and and then expect to thrive yourself.

SPEAKER_01 43:02

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 43:03

Yeah, yeah, it's like drinking the poison and then expecting the other person to die, you know, like just doesn't work. Well, in you you say that dreams will only be dreams unless you take inspired action, Deborah. So, what's an inspired action? You I wish we had time to kind of get into it. We don't. I mean, I have to have you come back on the show again and we'll talk some more. I really love this conversation. But what's an inspired action that entrepreneurs can take every day in order to really improve their results or or the service that they give to other people?

SPEAKER_01 43:46

I think when you set um a goal, most people aren't setting the right types of goals. So you have to set a pretty big goal and you have to really become emotionally attached to it, as you know. And then the how isn't up to you. So all the right people and all the right resources, if you are really attached to this big dream of yours, will come at the right time. And it's not working harder, it's it's really allowing, and I guess yeah, being in a state of allowance of when like it might be, um, for example, this is what this is actually what happened. This is how I I actually published a book. I set a goal that I was gonna publish a book. I don't know a thing about publishing a book, not a thing. I don't even know how to write a book. And as I was scrolling through a social media, there was this post, who wants to become an international best-selling author this year? And I'm like, I do. And it's making the decision and then allowing those opportunities to unfold. So I took inspired action right then and there, and I said, I do. I want to become a best-selling author. And that's how the ball got rolling. And they told you exactly how to set out your chapter in the book and took you through the whole publish, I didn't have to do a thing in in publishing it. So it's it's taking those opportunities when you decide what you want and watching for those opportunities to unfold. Really great.

SPEAKER_02 45:26

Well, thank you so much for being here. And for those of you listening to the interview, you'll be able to find all of the details about where to pick up Deborah's book and her website and information about how to be in communication with her. So thank you so much. Uh, it's been incredible speaking with you, and I look forward to the next time we get to connect. Have an amazing day. Thank you. Thank you, every yeah. Thank you, everyone, for joining the show today, and we'll be back next week. Have a great day.

SPEAKER_00 45:57

Thank you so much for joining us for this week's episode. For show info, visit what would Amber Do.com. And for information about Amber Howard and Associates' offerings and services, visit amberhowardinc.com.