SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to What With Amber Do with your host, Amber Howard, your weekly demos of guidance, inspiration, and strategies to have your small business and whole life thrive. We bring you incredible guests who share their real life experiences of being an entrepreneur so you can have your whole life work. Now, here's your host, Amber Howard.

SPEAKER_05 0:26

Welcome back to What Would Amber Do. Thank you for being here today and joining us. I'm really excited to have Neil Donaldson on the show this morning. Neil is the founder of Stolen from Africa, which is a lifestyle brand and not nonprofit organization that specializes in cultural outreach and arts education. Neil is a mentor and a coach, a creative, visionary leader, musician, podcaster, and father. Neil, thank you so much for being with me this morning.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

Thank you for having me. And that was a wonderful introduction. I think I might use some of that for my bio.

SPEAKER_05 1:02

I get that a lot from people I introduce to them who are like, damn, I sound good. That always sounds better when it's coming out of someone else's mouth, you know. So true.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:11

Well, just thank you for being here today. And I want to have a number of conversations with you. You are probably the first guest I've had on this show that has not like done that traditional what we call transition from some corporate job into being an entrepreneur and a business owner.

SPEAKER_02 1:29

Right.

SPEAKER_05 1:29

Your journey was a little different. So why don't you talk to us? Like, what was it? How did Stolen from Africa come to be? What was that journey of creation like for you? How did it all start?

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Yeah, um, I think you know, Stolen from Africa like really came about from like the curiosity of wanting to know my culture, um, my history, um, just some like to fill in some of the missing blanks, you know, um that I would I've been taught and maybe things I just didn't get from my family. Um, I think it also started from, you know, me being born and raised in Toronto. Um, I'm a straight-up Canadian. But people would always ask me, like, you know, like where are you really from? You know, and that was always a question that frustrated me. Because at that time, you know, um I didn't visit Jamaica where my family is from. All I know is Canada, so that's where I'm at. But then out of frustration, I would just say, like, you know, stolen from Africa. And then that just kind of would just shut people up and just kind of be like, oh, well, this guy's a little too serious or whatever. Um, but, you know, um, I think when things really started evolving was um when I was at the University of Toronto and um I was learning more courses that like pertain to like my history and identity. Like I started learning about like, you know, imperialism and colonialism and just all these different aspects and and really shifting the perspective of how like Africa has been taught to me, you know. Um, you know, so so through those experiences um and that new knowledge that I was gaining about identity and culture and how it just really made me feel empowered, um, I incorporated that in my music. And through incorporating that in our music, um I was working with a few artists at the time, and we thought it would be cool to just literally have like shirts that say stolen from Africa, like what I'm wearing right now, um, as like kind of like um, you know, without even knowing branding. Like we just thought it would just be cool as like a uniform for our music, just kind of amplify our message or and whatnot, which is about like, you know, social injustices and what have you. Um so when we did that, like we started realizing that people started to reacting to the shirts, like, you know, having like some real like emotions, you know. Um, and then from there we we started realizing that okay, like these shirts are actually creating dialogue. And through these dialogues, we're creating spaces for understanding. And then we started realizing that through understanding, that's a way to create, you know, community and and what have you, you know. So then it was kind of like just like snowball effect, like it wasn't planned, it was just like, you know, organic, um, really intuitive. And then we started realizing that this is like an actual educational tool, and they just kind of set off from there.

SPEAKER_05 4:05

So good. One of the things I love about our conversations always, like there's just um we come from very different cultures and and experiences in life in some ways, but you know, there's always um you make me think, and that started from the first. I think when we first connected, and I, you know, I'm a I'm a business analyst, I'm not always the one asking the questions. And until I reached out to you and I was like, so what is stolen from Africa? And you were like, Well, what do you think that what do you think stolen from Africa? And then I had to like deal with myself about that, right? It was like, well, who am I to say what's stolen from Africa is? Like, it's not like and and even this morning when you said people always ask me, Well, where are you really from? Well, I'm really from New Zealand.

unknown 4:50

Right.

SPEAKER_05 4:50

But no one ever asked me where I'm really from when I say I'm Canadian, right? Like, and and I think understanding our history, it wasn't until I I did my my I went to university, I got and I understood some of the things that had happened in Canadian history. Things that you bring attention to, like Africaville and all of this stuff in your educational programs and the and the documentaries that you've done. Um but if we can't, if we're we we don't understand like accurately our history where we come from, right? We can't, you know, we don't have a a solid foundation from in which to to build something new.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

That's exactly it. 100%. And and that's like the foundation of of like everything we we do is um you know, is about understanding ourselves, um, healing from the past, especially, you know, so that we can um really move forward with with humanity, you know, like that's like really the goal. You know, like sometimes people will look at someone from Africa and say that, okay, this is like a black movement, only for black people and whatnot. But, you know, as we know, like education um is is for for everyone, you know, enlightenment is for everybody. And and truth be told, like, you know, growing up in in you know, Canada, Toronto, um, you know, a lot of us, you know, don't know the history. It's been conveniently left out or, you know, uh misconstrued or or whatever the case. So there's a lot that that we all have to like understand, and and there's a lot of misinformation out there. So for us, it's really about being curious and um and and finding that that truth so that we can heal, you know, like that's really the goal. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 6:30

Why is he why is healing the past so important? Like from your experience and a you work with youth in the school system, you know, you work with at-risk youth and and lots of people in different communities. Why, why is healing the past so important for you?

SPEAKER_01 6:44

Um, I think because like, you know, I I see it, I feel it, like I'm I'm an empath, and and I really, you know, see it. Like, you know, like like healing is like the foundation of like a lot of things, you know. So when we look at, you know, um, you know, secondary, you know, angers like uh or secondary emotions like like anger and whatnot, and we see it come out in dysfunctional ways, a lot of it, uh when you get down to it, it it both comes down to like a place of healing. Um, I think like the healing piece really started just for for myself, you know, um, you know, feeling again like you know, like connected in society, but then also feeling like an outsider and why, and and trying to like really understand all these different things. And and you know, and and I also feel that when people aren't um given like a space to heal, you know, oftentimes like you're in a place of being on guard and defensive and and whatnot. And you know, when when you can heal, that's when real like breakthroughs, you know, happen and transformation happens, and and that's really what we're all about.

SPEAKER_05 7:47

So good. I uh on this journey for the last five and a half weeks, a friend of mine died recently, and it was the first time in my life I took any time off work to uh grieve the passing of someone. And I and it took something. I I canceled my class A U of T. I, you know, with my coaching calls, and every time I took one of those actions, I had to deal with myself about that. And and and it was like almost like opening the floodgates of all of this like repressed emotion. Oh my gosh. Just like just keep going, you know, keep like we talked before we got on, like about hustling, just keep keep performing, keep showing up, keep doing the work. Yeah, and and making sure that everyone else, like as I went through trauma in life, everyone else is taken care of, but I never gave myself the space to just deal with the energy of the emotion of the things that I've gone through. And and it really has been an extraordinary, um uncomfortable five and a half weeks, but also very like I uh, you know, my heart has grown, I've gotten a deeper sense of who I am and the value that I bring and and what I'm committed to and who I am on this planet. Uh but I I think it's really important. It's not about like dwelling, and I've said this to a couple of people I've been coaching lately, you have to be able to name the feelings and you have to be able to name the what it is so that you can then release it. Oftentimes we're too ashamed to even speak about it, right?

SPEAKER_02 9:17

And then there we go.

SPEAKER_05 9:19

And and and I think this is why, for me, anyway, knowing the history is so important because if you can't name it and and and and have the courage to say what it was and be authentic about what it was, then you can't actually like you don't even know what there is to release so that you can heal and then move on.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

You know what that that that's it right there. You know, it's um and and I like what you said about like not like dwelling, you know, because when people look at stolen from Africa, you know, I've been approached many times, you know, where like the first thing that comes to mind is is slavery and this whole like kind of like dwelling on the past, and no, we got to move forward and this and that. And I'm like, well, yeah, you know, there there's a lot of progressions, but there are things that need to be named, as you said, and and addressed. And it's not to to dwell on it, but it it really is to um to heal from it, you know, and and what I what I realize is like in order to really create a space for healing, people have to feel safe as well, you know. Um, so that's why I love having conversations with people, you know. Sometimes a shirt may be confrontational, but you know, within a couple seconds of having a conversation with me, you know that my intentions are for humanity and to create spaces for understanding. And um, you know, I find that when people feel safe, then they can be um vulnerable or feel safe to be vulnerable. And then through that vulnerability, that's what creates like intimacy and essentially like spaces for healing and and understanding, you know. So um I totally agree with like with the importance of that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:50

So good, right? One of the things I recently released a relationship from the past, like a friendship. And one of the things that when I was writing out, because I I've been learning to take pen to paper just to write it out, and one of the things I I I took responsibility for was allowing him to dishonor me in the relationship. Because I thought for myself that by allowing him to dishonor me, because we're all one and we're all connected, we're all energy, that I in fact diminished the dign dignity inherent in him and allowed him, right? And that's deep. I know, right? And but like this whole like the interruption that the the and it and it did, it started with a simple t-shirt, but stolen from Africa, that that platform, uh, until we can, because we've all whatever the the sins of the past, whatever you want to call it, human beings have done to one another in our brokenness and our uh in our disconnection, there is a shame to it. All and and and so much of it, and I can see this for myself now, Neil, um, after the last five weeks, like the dissociation that happens, and we numb in different ways. For some people it's anger, some drugs and alcohol, some whatever that, whatever the way in which you numb. But because we are all like actually the truth, well, my truth anyway, and I know it's yours as well, is that we're all connected and we're all one. I can't there can't be harm out there without it harming me too. And and stolen from Africa provides a platform for people to be able to talk about it. Because then once you start talking about it, you can say, well, hold on a second here. Yeah, I do feel other people are hurt or harmed, or I see what's happening in the United States, Black Lives Matter, all of these things, whatever, you know, indigenous populations in Canada. Like, if I allow myself the moment to pause and think that I I feel that, right? And I can stop dissociating. So I think it's so important what you do.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

Yeah, and just to add to that, um, one of the things I'm really proud of what we do is creating that kind of space like in school during school hours. You know, so so we have a program called the Responsibility Program, and it's essentially, you know, um providing students with a better um, I guess, aspect of like self-awareness, um emotional intelligence. Um, you know, again, creating a safe space where you know young people can feel um, you know, vulnerable and and therefore express what's really going on in their lives and the things that are important to them and what have you. And um it's it's actually incredible and it just made me realize like there's so much need for spaces like this, you know. Because like you said, we just kind of go through life and we may feel certain things, whether it's shame or or we have certain experiences and we haven't really processed. Um, we definitely need spaces for that, you know, and it all goes down to like the connection of humanity and uh you know, just yeah, just building.

SPEAKER_05 13:49

So and it's interesting, some of the studies that I've been doing over the last six months is really about like stocks become things, and you you have a couple of really amazing books, The Science of Getting Rich is one of them. Um and it really talks about you don't want to keep your attention on that which you don't want. And and one of the things we talk about is like in movements, you know, like like when we talk about some of the things and healing those wounds from the past, how do we move to the next stage of it, right? At what point? Because the more we focus on poverty and our thoughts are on poverty, the more poverty we get, right? So we want to like start to shift the conversation. And I'm not like I'm not saying that it's time for that, or but I am curious to know your thoughts on how do we shift the conversation as human beings collectively towards what it is that we do want. And and and so that we can start to create more of that versus what may feel like sometimes we're we're focusing on what we don't want.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

I don't know. I I think sometimes like you know, we just snap, like you know, we're we're in this like victim mindset, and then something happens, we're just like, you know, like okay, I'm done with this. I just gotta make some something happen, you know. Um yeah, like I don't know how else to to explain like that, but um it's it's really a shift in in mindset. And it's so difficult when that's all you know. Like if all you know is victimhood, if all you know is poverty, it's it's you know, like making money may feel guilty, you know, to make it. It's like, oh my gosh, like there's something wrong with this, you know. So it does take a lot. Um, you know, and yeah, that like for me, like I can definitely relate to that, you know, coming from, I want to say like poverty, like like we, you know, um, like we were starving or anything, but you know, we weren't rich either, you know, and and just like conversations on money and things of the nature weren't really, you know, present. Um really just, you know, trying to um, you know, find a life that that that works, you know, and and I think like like the victim mindset has been um something that you know has taken over me, you know, for certain periods of time until I started realizing like the power of my thought, just like you said, and you know, doing like affirmations and and just putting that energy out there. It's like I I want to discover opportunities, I want to discover like-minded peoples. And then as soon as I started moving in that direction, um, as opposed to giving energy to people who are, you know, more like energy vampires and you know, misery loves company type vibes, I started putting that energy out there and then the people started coming, actually. You know, and you also have to be open to it too. Like it's kind of hard to um to recognize things that could be healthy for you if you're not even aware of it. You know, it's like someone who's been in a dysfunctional relationship, and then you come across something healthy, and that looks dysfunctional, you know, because it's it's abnormal to like what you're you recognize, you know. So I think it's about being being open to that and um and being curious and asking questions, you know. Like I'm a firm believer if like if I don't know something or if I'm curious about something, I'm gonna find someone. You know, I'll literally go on Facebook and look at people's titles, like, oh, you're a coach. Okay, I want to talk to you. Oh, you're about astrology. I like astrology, I'm gonna talk to you. And most people are are open to share about their passions, you know. So, and then from there you start realizing like your circles and the things around you are slowly changing, you know, and then one day you're gonna look back a year or two later and be like, hold on, like my circle and my way of being is completely different. Like, I I I can't afford to give my energy to like negativity or things that are not growing. You know, I just can't do that, you know. Like I'm not in that space anymore where sometimes I would entertain it and be like, okay, you know, let me do the song and dance, but then after a while, I'm like, why am I wasting my energy? You know, I gotta put it in more productive places.

SPEAKER_05 17:41

My mentor is like a bubble, like protecting the bubble. And like, and and and I got like even protecting the bubble from yourself, because like, yeah, there's like you put this bubble around the outside coming in, but it's also like I'm in the bubble, and I gotta be like like vigilant, relentless with my screen my calls. Yeah, yeah, you know, where is my attention? What am I focusing on? And um and and one of the things like I finally watched The Secret yesterday, which is funny. I've been start studying like the laws, and I mean, I know I'm probably I don't even know when the secret came out. I think I'm like a decade behind the times.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

For real.

SPEAKER_05 18:23

But like that that whole conversation about feeling good and is what you're doing feeling good? You know, and and I think that's a real access on discovering a real access to knowing if you're aligned with what your what your purpose is, what you're here for, what matters to you, what your values are. And you speak about your purpose and and why is purpose so important to you? Why do you think it's so important to to be clear about your purpose and and be living in alignment with that?

SPEAKER_01 18:54

Yeah, like purpose. Um purpose to me just kind of gives gives life, you know, it gives gives meaning to you know existence. Like, you know, I I want to live, I don't want to just exist, you know. I I knew from like a young age that I didn't want to do the regular nine to five. Like I used to have like arguments with my mom, and then she didn't really get it, you know. But I've always had this desire, I don't even know where it came from, but I just knew that that life was not for me. I tried it or whatever, and you know, because you got to pay bills and whatever, and it's just like it's just not not it. And, you know, um having something of purpose, especially a purpose that's like greater than yourself, you know. Um, you know, and and knowing that um my my purpose is is motivating and inspiring people, um, you know, kind of gives gives value to to just my existence, to know that like, you know, I'm here to be of service, I'm I'm here for a higher purpose, not just for like selfish needs and and you know, lower vibrational stuff. It's um it's something that's that that helps to push humanity forward and and connects us. And that's very fulfilling to me, you know, like I love having conversations and doing workshops and just connecting with people and transforming mindsets, you know, especially interacting with um with ignorance or or or interacting with like racist peoples or people who are just like, you know, the average person wouldn't have patience for. Like that's like where I shine. And I and I love that, you know, um, and and that, you know, purpose like just makes me feel alive, you know. So even when you're, you know, maybe not even getting paid or you know, um having slept all night, you still wake up with energy, being like, I'm on my mission, I'm I'm doing something that's of value and um and it's helping people, you know, because I I know for sure that you know, like it's kind of kind of kind of deep though, but but like when I die, I I want to know that, you know, like my life was not in vain, that I I made that I contributed to humanity to this planet in a in a real meaningful way, in a very intentional way. You know, so like that's that's one of my my things. I don't want to leave this planet just like, yeah, you know, I was just just chilling, just you know, twiddling my thumbs, and then now I'm here. Like I want to be like, yo, like I I really showed up and I really cared about humanity because like you said, we we are all interconnected. So yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:14

It's so interesting.

SPEAKER_05 21:18

I don't know where that's uh it's so interesting to me that we we understand that everything that's created has a purpose. Plants have a purpose, water has a purpose, you know, snow has a purpose, mosquitoes, even though I don't like to think about them much, they have a purpose too. Everything has a purpose, and yet for many human beings, like you know, they say the graveyard is the place, like the richest place in the world, because that's where all the dreams, like people's dreams died, right? Like that that it goes through life, and so many human beings go through life, never getting connected. To like, why was I like the unique creation that I am? Why was I created? Why am I here? And what am I here to fulfill on or express in the world that's uniquely my own? Um, and and you're so right when you say when you when you're at that, the source of that, like Bob Proctor says, I've been studying, thinking into the results of the last six months, and he's hijacked my brain. The man will be like, You have more energy in your pink, you have enough energy in your pinking finger to power a city block for a week. And then you walk around saying you're tired. You're not tired, you have no desire.

SPEAKER_02 22:38

You're not tired, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 22:40

Hijacked, Neil. I'm like, every time I want to say I'm tired, I'm like, where am I not connected to my source, my purpose, why I say I'm here, which is to be of service. You know, I said my life was about being used up in service of the community. And and when I am, it's like lights on, statement, volume, energy. And when I die, it's so clear, right?

SPEAKER_01 23:08

You know, like when when I when I think about a lot of people who um who are not aligned with their purpose, like they're still trying to figure out like what that is. And and you know, it's um, I think it goes back to like really trying to figure out like like what what makes you happy, what brings you joy, like how do you feel you can contribute? But deeper than that, it's like things that come to mind right now is um, you know, um going back to childhood, you know, like when when I see like my kids and they're just so they just have this knowing about them. Like my daughters are just so incredible. Like I'm I'm so in awe like with just how they maneuver and just this this knowing. And say, how do you know? And there's the confidence and everything. And then at some point, you know, we we um get to a place of just like, you know, second guessing and doubt and all these different different factors. Um, so it's not that so like you said, like everything that's created has a purpose. It's like we all, if you're a human being, like you're you are here for a purpose, like you are here to contribute to to history, whether intentional or not. You know, and and it's so unfortunate that um a lot of people have been closed off to their real purpose. Because I believe that like when we're born, we're like so we're closer to source, you know. Like I think on the spectrums, like like those who just enter and those who are just exiting, you know, are the closest to source and connection. And and kids, you know, if parents are paying attention, can really see their gifts because kids will show you their gifts, they're there. There's like, hey, they want to share, they want to explain it to you. That's what kids do. But at some point, you know, it just gets not recognized, and then you just get unmotivated and then you're done. Then and then you try to fill that void, try to find fulfillment outside of yourself. I think that's the thing where people get confused, and then you know, later on try to figure it out or whatever. But yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:52

You're I I'm with you a hundred people on that one about kids. They uh they really I think we just start getting filled up, right? We have all of these experiences in life, and then we add me to them, we make it mean things about ourselves, we start closing ourselves off, we experience you know, rejection or whatever it is, right? And and then the more we do that, and and really that journey of the journey of self-development, I think, is a journey of like unbecoming. All of the things that we hold ourselves over life that we had to be in order to fit in or have what we want or be successful or whatever that is, it's like you're you know, I your child our children are so you are never more powerful or free or self-expressed as you are when you're a child. Because you haven't you're just you've got nothing going on about being authentically yourself, right? And being seen for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 25:53

Yeah.

unknown 25:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Yeah. Oh, it's it's powerful. And and that goes back, like you said, like being authentic, you know, like like a lot of people feel they're authentic, but like you really are not, you know, when it comes to that. And I think being authentic is how you can really discover your purpose, you know, because you know, we grew up in society, people pleasing and have certain expectations. People may know you from a certain era, like era in time, and then you may fall victim to that. But, you know, it's really about you know being authentic. And then I think being authentic, like, you know, kind of breaks down all those layers that we built up. Like you said, we're like a container, we have all these experiences, we make meaning to it. You know, a lot of it is just, you know, designed to um to people please, and because people have certain perceptions, so we got to live up to them. But when you're authentic, like all that shatters, and then you start creating new realities, you know. And I think that's one of the biggest things that I learned is that you know, we have like a reality that exists, but then we can also create our own realities, you know, within this reality. And having that kind of power, you know, I think is is incredibly important.

SPEAKER_05 26:56

It's so good, right? You know, Brene Brown talks about that the human beings are we exist to connect and belong. Like it's like it's hardwired into us.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

We are.

SPEAKER_05 27:10

We do drugs, like there's certain drugs to get those feelings, like you know, because we we we're not getting them. And we build up all of these layers as like because we have experiences of disconnection, and so we build up these ways of being or habits or actions that we take in order to connect and belong. And if you look at children, they connect and belong, they just know they just know and they belong. They've gotta the we unlearn connection and belonging as we go through life and have experiences, right? And it's so like our truth at the source of who we are as human beings and all living things, because we're all made of energy. Everything is just that we connect and we belong.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

That's it.

SPEAKER_05 27:57

Period. And then we build up all of these layers in order to connect and belong to make up for experiences of disconnection and what we made that mean about us, right?

SPEAKER_01 28:08

That's so true. No, just to add to that, just from a cultural standpoint, you know, like there's so many different disconnections, like even just amongst races, cultures, you know, um, you know, gender and and so much, you know, and all of these different things. And and I I just realized that, you know, um, through the understanding that we're all connected, like, you know, I always see examples of like connection through anybody that I choose to connect with. Like there's always gonna be something that that we're gonna be able to speak on or relate to. And it always fascinates me, you know, because sometimes like you feel like, oh, there might be nothing common here, but there always is. Like from a human level, there's always something in common. And and it's always reassuring to know that, you know, no matter what space I'm in, like I know I'm gonna find like my tribe. I'm know I'm gonna find my peoples. And and it's really interesting. And I know that a lot of people don't move through life like that, seeing that. Like I can go in spaces where it's just like all white folks, you know, 50 plus, you know, and I'm gonna find my peoples, you know what I mean? Or I can go to a South Asian community and in the same way, like, so it it's it's really like a powerful thing to really get back to that space.

SPEAKER_05 29:15

Yeah, I think what I'm great about you and this world for people, Neil, is you really are um accepting.

SPEAKER_02 29:24

Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 29:26

You know, even in like it's like Bob Proctor talks about the only problem that human beings have is ignorance. Like it's playing, like, and sometimes I think we talk about ignorance as being wrong, or it's like, oh, you're and it's like it's not bad or wrong to be ignorant, it's just you it's a lack of knowledge, not knowing and not having the knowledge, either because it's in a blind spot or you didn't see it, or you never learned it, you were never taught it. Um, but that problem of ignorance, and I think by creating the safe space that you create for people to just be themselves and be real and own their ignorance, then something else becomes available and possible, a space for dialogue and conversation, which I think is one of the biggest things that is so needed in this world right now, because we've become so polarized.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

Yeah. Just to add you, you know. Yeah, I just want to add to that, like, you know, um, about being accepting and um and you know, compassionate. Like those are definitely accepting, compassionate, and patience, I think are like my like strong suits that like have really pushed me forward into other spaces that people are like, how do you even do this? And then I really started, you know, um recognizing this like over like COVID and stuff, and like, you know, where there was like, you know, a lot of talks on just like the racial injustice that people have been seeing and wanted to do things. And I was like, you know, just instigating like several conversations online and just seeing the feedback and and how people were just like opening up and and really being vulnerable in a public forum and expressing like you know, their their lack of knowledge and desire to learn and and whatnot. And and you know, that's when I really started on really understanding the power of that. Like I already knew I had it in like intuitively, but now it's more intentional. Now I'm now I deliberately create spaces for this. And you know, with like you know, the podcast I'm gonna be creating and stuff like that, it's um really going to be diving in and just again, like you said, creating these these platforms in different spaces. So now we're in the virtual space, it's like how can I create these connections and and authentic you know conversations um virtually and and hopefully it inspires people, you know. So yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 31:38

What have been some of their inspirations over time?

SPEAKER_01 31:44

Inspiration on I think one of the main inspirations that I feel um I have over time is really the people having more openness, you know, um, you know, to again like address ignorance. Like I feel like in this day and age, people are a little more aware. Like obviously if you confront someone, you know, that's like like an interrogation or very confrontational, they're gonna, you know, put their guard up and whatever, whatever. But, you know, if it's coming from a genuine place of of care and curiosity and whatnot, like the openness, like, you know, it's it's received, you know, and and certain conversations um that are happening today that maybe wouldn't happen like 10 years ago are, you know, it's um incredible. Like, you know, when when I go to schools, you know, explaining like the the importance and relevance of having um culturally like responsive programming is is not like a taboo topic. It's like they get it now, you know, or or talking about like anti-black racism or white supremacy in school. Like these are topics that principals bring up to me. And, you know, so it shows that people are more open to dialogue and really to understand and essentially to heal. So that's really, you know, inspirational. And and I think when when I see like a lot of support from like non-black people, you know, it's um that's also inspirational too, because so from Av, like for me it's kind of obvious, like, you know, like what our our target is, but you know, it doesn't it doesn't stop there. Like, you know, like African culture, um, Afrocentric, you know, um ways of of being has always been inclusive. Like that's just what it's always been about. So um to see, you know, people who are non-black receive it as such, often without me having to explain it. Like, you know, like 10 years ago, I would have to explain why it's inclusive and how it's not pushing people out and and you know, and and how I I I do not hate white people and all these different things. Um, now it's like it's like people get it. They're like, oh, I understand the purpose of it. Like, how can I support? And people are being eager. So that is super inspirational. And again, it just feeds back into like my purpose to know that I am aligned and I I I do bring something unique to the table, which again includes patience, compassion, and understanding.

SPEAKER_05 33:59

So I think it's really important to talk in the transformation. Sometimes we get so in it, you know, we don't see where we've come from. So it's like taking that time to look back and say, you know, where how has this dialogue shifted? Even in the last eight months, nine months since COVID started, right? Where because sometimes we we focus so much on how much is left to go to get to wherever it is that we want to get to, that we don't see the evolution, the progress.

SPEAKER_01 34:31

And I think I want to just add to that real quickly, because again, like COVID really brought that. Because I've just been I've been doing Stolen from Africa since 2004, right? So that's like almost like like 20 years now. And I didn't realize how tired I was of explaining like why my existence is important until like, you know, like we reached that like tipping point, you know. I think it was like in like June or May or something like that, where people were just like, oh my gosh, like really trying to understand what was going on, like on a on a wider scale, not just individuals, but like a wider scale. People who would never have the conversation are now sincerely trying to search within. Um, that was like the first time I realized, like, I had to step back and be like, yo, like I'm like actually tired of explaining. Like this is this is kind of wild. And and and I did it when I came to that realization is because like people were like really interested in like learning on their own and you know, making having conversations on their own, as opposed to me initiating and whatnot. So taking that time to reflect and be like, whoa, like, and then I started realizing how much more further we have to go. But I'm like, okay, at least I don't have to explain a bunch of stuff before because that also takes up a lot of time, which we could be moving forward and progressively. Now, now we're already on the same page. Great, let's move forward and and create more spaces. You know, we need more allies, we need more conversations, we do we need more spaces that that are safe so we can be um authentic and and you know have have lives of integrity, you know.

SPEAKER_03 35:54

I love it.

SPEAKER_05 35:56

So you talk about your father's being a father, and oftentimes as a single mom, as a parent, uh we talk about being a bit being an entrepreneur, entrepreneur and a business owner, Neil, is like something that takes away from our children. Right? It's like and and what I'm curious to know, how is being an entrepreneur or a business owner like made you a better father?

SPEAKER_01 36:22

Um I think it's maybe a better father in the context of just like, you know, time management, um, attentiveness, um, you know, making like authentic connections, you know, like like when I'm, you know, from like an entrepreneur perspective, I'm connecting with people, like I'm I'm present, I'm I'm connecting with them on a genuine, genuine level. Like it's not like, okay, I'm trying to make a sale or something. It's like, no, I actually want to know who you are and how you're doing and and things of that nature, and and making those connections. And and you know, my my my daughters, especially my younger one, is very um, you know, demanding. Like she, you know, got that Aquarius spirit, and and she'll like make her presence known. And and if I'm like busy on something, you know, and then she'll she'll be like, no, you gotta stop that and attend to this. And so it's made me realize with the power of being present and and the power of creating like positive memories, you know, that that has been a major theme, like deliberately creating these positive experiences. So like when it's all said and done, people can be like, you know what? That experience was great. I may not remember what was spoken about, but the feeling is there, you know. So that is one thing that um has been talking about. Also um has taught me that I can integrate the both, you know. I'm very blessed that I've created a reality for myself where um things aren't separated. So like, you know, I integrate my my kids in a lot of my stuff. So if I'm, you know, um, you know, at Afrofest or whatever, doing the vendor thing, selling, you know, merchandise, like my kids are there too, like making sales, you know. Um, I'm doing a workshop with with teenagers, like my my younger one loves hanging out with teenagers. And and it's kind of cool just to see how everybody like responds to her, you know, her inquisitive energy and and and the fact that I'm able to integrate her. And it just showed me that that like you know, business is is integrated in community. You know, that's one thing that I've definitely learned. Like it's all integrated as one, like there's nothing that's separate. Yeah. Some things that made you learn well.

SPEAKER_05 38:21

Yeah, I think it's important. I often people try to compartmentalize their lives, right? And I and I saw this a lot in the corporate worlds when I worked in corporate. It's like it's not personal, it's business. Well, we're not compartmentalized as human beings. Okay, we're we can and I found it, I always found it interesting. Uh, this whole piece around um like the disconnect, we teach our kids to be a certain way at home, right? Like values, like community values, whatever those are, about how to be on the playground and stuff. And then when people would go off into the business world, not living in alignment with those values. And then the kids are sitting around the dinner table and daddy's talking about whatever, or mommy's talking about whatever, and they're like, Well, hold on, I thought you told me to be nice to the kids at school. What's going on there, right? Like all of those places where we're just where there's like a lack of alignment or disconnection between how the actions that we take and who we say or what we say is important. Um, right.

SPEAKER_01 39:25

Yeah, I can relate to the compartmentalization aspect. And and I and I find for me a lot of times at some point, like, yeah, you can have them in cute little boxes, but at some point they're gonna clash. And and sometimes those those clashing moments are not pretty, you know. Um, so I I realize that like, you know, everything is is so integrated and and you know, like business is not just business, you know. I mean, like I always had a problem with that term, you know what I mean? It's like, oh, it's just business. So it's like I can do something inauthentic, but hey, it's just business, you know, because we gotta make profits. But it's like, no, I I rather not um, you know, like live, live, live in that, in that space, you know, it's um, yeah, really, really interesting.

SPEAKER_05 40:05

It uh it just reminds me of the importance of ruins and really being integrated for ourselves, right? And um I share this story when I teach leadership at the University of Toronto, like a time where Nelson Mandela gave this speech and to like a hostile room, and he stood for hours and turned the tide of the conversation, right? And by the end of it, wow, people were in support of his vision and what he was out to create. And Desmond was talking to the media afterwards, and they said, How does how does he do it? How can he speak for so long? He never has any notes, doesn't have a speech, like how you know, and and Tuju's response to him was that Nelson Mandela was 100% congruent. What he said, what he did, what he believed. Like he was his perfect, like in every way, shape, or form. So he didn't need notes to be able to stay on topic and make sure he was saying, like it was literally like he lived from the inside out. That's all of his actions and how he showed up and the influence he had was aligned with who he was and what his purpose purpose was. And I think for me, like that, we're talking about relationship goals, it's like leadership goals. It's like I ever since I heard that, that's who I strive to be in the world. And you know, some days uh it's like a journey.

SPEAKER_04 41:23

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 41:25

No, that's that's just like that, like imagine a world where every human being lived that way.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

Yeah, that that that resonates with me. You know, I I totally feel like I operate a lot like that. Like often think like, you know, when even when it when I do like, you know, like podcasts or um, you know, if I'm presenting at a school or something like that, like I come with like minimal notes, you know, because I I just like to feed off of whoever I'm talking to. You know, I don't want to come with like a set idea and be like, well, this is what needs to be done. It's like I got to feel and vibe off and then and you know, have that understanding, you know, and have that that those interconnections, like, you know, like like whoever I'm talking to is literally part of the presentation as well. Like, you know, it's not no dictatorship, it's really giving off the vibe that I'm also learning from you two as well, you know, and figuring out where are those intersections that that we can build, you know. So yeah, like I that that really resonates. I like that. I like that a lot.

SPEAKER_03 42:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 42:23

What have been this, what have been some of the challenges along the way, right? So for you that you you shared, you kind of went from selling CDs on the streets of Toronto, hustling, to this evolving, you know, t-shirt, and then now this platform to Africa. What were some of the the challenges that you didn't expect on that journey, Neil?

SPEAKER_01 42:46

Hmm.

SPEAKER_05 42:47

Or what were some of the things that you bumped up against?

SPEAKER_01 42:50

Yeah, like I I feel like, you know, like my whole life there, like challenges are uh have kind of just become like normalized, you know. It's like I know that there's gonna be challenges and somehow, some way I'm gonna get over it. You know what I mean? I'm gonna come through, but then I know there's gonna be another challenge, you know, as we say, like new levels, new devils. So um I think one of the the challenges that that come to mind is integrating others into your vision. I think like that has been a thing, you know. Um, because it's cool, like, you know, when you're moving and you have something that's that's shiny and sparkly and people want to be part of, and then they have their ideas you add on, and sometimes it may not totally be aligned, or there may be certain aspects and then other things. I think like what I've learned is um is through that, like to have like strong, clear communication. Because like when there's assumptions, then it just goes where it goes. And then, you know, something could be going down, you know, a decision that can be made for your brand or something like that. And then it's just like that's not what I approved of at all. But you know, because there was no communication, it's like people are left to their own devices and they just well, it's like it's important to me. So I thought it was cool. And it's like, no, that does not represent the brand at all. You know? So I think that was is a what was a challenge. Um, you know, having people integrated and like not having contracts and then, you know, trying to like work through all of that mess. Um, what was definitely a challenge. But, you know, like like I said, like when when it comes to challenges for me, I always see them as a blessing as well, you know. Like I go through life, like it's either a direct blessing or it's a lesson, which essentially is a blessing because without these problems, without these conflicts, I wouldn't be present to certain things. I would have just been like, la la la, everything's fine. But now it's like, no, okay, I have this awareness, I'm I'm enlightened now. Because as we know, like things always happen in cycles. So like this energy will come back again, but this time I know how to deal with it accordingly, in a way that's that's authentic, that's with an integrity, and that's just not like shunning and a way to like integrate things accordingly if need be. You know, um, those are the are the main things. Um I think um sometimes challenges for me is like um, you know, doing my like follow-up calls and stuff like that, like really staying on top of like those connections and stuff like that. Um I I think you know, there might have been some like missed opportunities, you know. So um that's something that I've I've definitely been been working on. Um I think some of some challenges too is you know, every now and then we get like this mindset of doubt, you know. I mean, like, is what I'm doing even meaningful? Should I just start something else? You know, because I've had those thoughts before, because I've been doing it for like almost 20 years, and I'm like, should I be doing, I don't know, like is this even working? Or, you know, but then again, it's like it's almost 20 years. It's like, why would I quit now? I've already invested so much of my life to this, it better work. You know what I mean? So um, those moments of doubt, you know, come by, but you know, also with those moments of doubt, the universe works in really mysterious ways. Like it'll always send me like an angel. Like someone will I'll randomly come across someone on the street and they'll be like, yo, you came to my school like 10 years ago and I was inspired, and now like you know, I'm studying to be a lawyer. And it's like, okay, I'm gonna keep going. You know what I mean? So, like stuff like that, like you know, um, because about so yeah, when I when I see challenges like that, they don't really get me scared anymore, you know. I I just know that it's making me present to something that I wasn't present or something I gotta work on or build on. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 46:19

In that person, right? You know, talks about that and thinking we're rich. That that that was the one thing that all of the the successful people that he interviewed over 20 years, you know, he brought it all down to persistence, like that, and and that there is this like almost like guide that comes to test people who are wanting to get up to big things. And it's like, are you going to and like the goal that I've been getting lately is like you you keep you keep your attention on the goal, but the plan may change, right? So the goal doesn't change, but and like there's wisdom and strength in like assessing the plan, having a plan, pivoting the plan uh in order to keep and and knowing and trusting God, the universe, that the people, like those angels that you talked about, the people, the resources are gonna show up when you're ready for them and you need them. And it's like an unfolding.

SPEAKER_01 47:16

Yeah, that that just reminds me of this um this meme. It's funny these days I get like so much knowledge and insight from memes. Um, but but this this meme said, um, you know, when it comes to like, you know, like like business and and you know, owning a business and whatever, um, is it said, you know, be stubborn with your vision, but then flexible with the details. And is exactly what she just said, just in different words. But that was a major game changer. So when I spoke about, you know, having people integrated in your vision and people get passionate and they want to feel that they're a part of the brand and even own the brand and have all this investment, it's like, okay, well, you know, people do need to feel empowered, most definitely. People feel need to feel that they're validated and heard and supported, and and that's how you build a team. Um, so I had my vision and and really strong on what that is. Like the goal is humanity. We can talk about whatever, whatever, but at the end of the day, like that's really what we're striving for, that that that connection, that understanding. How we go about that, I mean, I'm flexible with the details because you know, when you bring people on your team, they may have a view that you, you know, they may see your blind spots and have certain things that you may not be aware of. And it's like, okay, I didn't really think of that idea. I don't really fully understand it, but is it aligned with the vision? Yes, okay, go ahead. You know, and that like saves a lot of time and and and builds things. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 48:34

So good. There's the studying leadership in my course though. It says the effective leader does not have an ego problem. They do not compete, they create. And although at a times they appear to operate with a closed mind and total stubbornness, that is definitely not the case. The truth is really in rarely in the appearance of things. The effective leader is truly a creative visionary. They quietly and calmly follow the little voice within that tells them the way to go. Although it may not be obvious, they are extremely observant. They miss little, if if anything, of what's going on in their world. And they are active listeners. When they receive a suggestion from a follow that has merit, they quickly investigate the idea. And when they determine the other's idea is superior to their own, they reject their own idea, accept the other person's, and work with it as if it was their own, always giving the other person who originated the idea full credit. This does not, however, mean that every idea that comes their way is accepted. In fact, few are only those ideas that move everyone closer to the manifestation of the leader's vision.

SPEAKER_01 49:43

I love that. Holy, that was giving me like tingly feelings. Yes. And so true, you know. Um, yeah, and that's something that I've been really like adamant on. Because I've learned that from like, you know, hip-hop culture about being authentic and original and and you know, giving credit where credit is due, you know, and um, and any idea that comes to like my my the table that I bring, I always give give that credit and validate people. Like, I don't when people say, Oh, so far, so great, it's like, yeah, like I have like a team of like, you know, about solid, like five people right now that we just go hard. So it's not just me, I might be the face or whatever, but like I have like a solid people that I can bounce off ideas for and and I definitely um you know give them the opportunity to to build on it, you know. So it's um, yeah, uh you might have to send me that that that call. I wanna I want to put that on my wall, you know.

SPEAKER_05 50:35

Thank you so much for this conversation this morning. I love connecting with you. I have since the first time we met. I, you know, it's just a real meeting of spirits and minds, and I always discover something new about myself and life in our conversation. So thank you for being here, everyone on the show. Thank you for listening in to this conversation. And you can definitely find out in the in the show notes more about Neil and where to connect with him and find out about two.

SPEAKER_01 50:59

Appreciate it. Thank you. Yes. What would Amber Do?

SPEAKER_05 51:05

Have a great weekend, everyone.

SPEAKER_00 51:08

Thank you so much for joining us for this week's episode. For show info, visit what would Amber Do.com. And for information about Amber Howard and Associates' offerings and services, visit AmberHoward Inc.com.