SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to What With Amber Do. With your host, Amber Howard, your weekly dose of guidance, inspiration, and strategies to have your small business and whole life thrive. We bring you incredible guests who share their real life experiences of being an entrepreneur so you can have your whole life work. Now, here's your host, Amber Howard.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

Good morning, everyone. Welcome back to What Would Amber Do. It is really my privilege this morning to be speaking with Susanna Dryfields. Susanna is an entrepreneur and creator with her partner, Courtney, of Peak Performance Coaching. They're moms and really partners in every sense of the word. Their commitment is to executives and entrepreneurs that they get to reach whatever level of success that they want by building strong relationships and creating pride in their bodies. And really, Susanna, we met in a personal development program. And it's just really such an honor to have you on the show this morning. Thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Oh, thank you so much, Amber. I'm I'm thrilled. It's an honor.

SPEAKER_02 1:13

Yeah. So there's a number of things I want to talk with you about this morning. What is it to be in relationship and in business together, being a mom and have young children? Because I'm on the other end of that spectrum. But I thought we would start by how did Peak Performance Coaching get created? You know, what was the journey like for you and Courtney and for you specifically, but to get to where you are today being an entrepreneur?

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Yeah. It was it was an interesting, an interesting journey for sure. I mean, we we had this really idea that someday we would leave Toronto and we would move out to the country where we were close to, you know, mountains where we could do more of the outdoor things that we wanted to do. And but it was always like a someday and like, you know, maybe in 10 years or or in five years, but we didn't didn't really create a timeline. And then we got a we were renting a place in Scarborough, and our landlord said, listen, I want to move back in. You have two months to to you know vacate. And it was a real turning point. And we thought, okay, well, now's our opportunity. How can we take this kind of like sour moment and make you know something sweet out of it? So we decided to uh buy a house in in Collingwood, Bosega Beach area. We quit our jobs and we thought now's our time to sink or swim. And uh it was risky, but we had to go for it. I mean, it was it was one of those like it's now or never. And we managed to keep some contracts with our with our current um positions. I was working in corporate culture and Courtney was working in um muscle activation uh therapy, and um we got here, things were going really great, and then COVID hit, and suddenly we both lost our biggest contracts, and we thought, all right, again, this is one of those bitter moments. How can we turn this into something sweet? And so we we really looked at, you know, we both had experience in coaching, we both wanted to impact people in in positive ways. Her background was in health and fitness, mine was mostly in interpersonal relationships and goal setting. And we thought, okay, well, what does that really look like as a combined thing? And we thought, well, performance, it's really about increasing people's performance. And and with our background in sports, we just and inspiration from the mountains nearby, we decided to name it peak performance coaching. So that's really kind of how it was created. All of it was kind of created from these moments where we thought, oh man, like what are we gonna do now? Like suddenly we have a a mortgage and a family and no jobs. So we gotta turn this around fast.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

Yeah, I love what you're it really points to resilience, right? I just like was training at one of the municipalities this week, training people in resilience. And that ability, life is gonna happen. You can't like there's no stopping circumstances, and anyone who thinks that there is, it's kind of like, okay, well, I don't know how that's going for you. Life is going to happen. And I think what I really heard in what you were sharing, Susanna, is like, who am I gonna be in those moments? And am I gonna get taken out by that? Am I gonna get avoided? And or am I just gonna look for for the silver lining? How can I use these? How can I leverage whatever the circumstances are to elevate me to my next level and have move me closer? Because I think sometimes when circumstances hit, people kind of view them as like a setback. And it's like, but like what I really heard is like I could actually use undesirable circumstances to propel me forward closer to what it is that I really authentically want. And I think that um that's beautiful. That's the to me, that's like what it is to live a created life, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

And that's really what we want to help people with. I think it's so easy to get caught up in your circumstances and the swirl of everything that's happening around you. And, you know, we we saw that a lot when you know COVID first hit. Like we saw, you know, our friends are, you know, our friends are family members, there's their jobs, and we really thought, well, what can we do to empower ourselves and empower other people? Because we know that with the right, with the right attitude and with the right strategy and really carving out time for yourself that you that you can make it through it. Like we really believe in in the resiliency of others.

SPEAKER_02 5:54

Yeah, the other thing I heard in what you said was about this idea of being ready. And there's this great quote I shared this week by Hugh Laurie, for those of you who know the actor that played House in the TV show. A terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready, there is only now, and you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any. And so it's like that idea, it's like, okay, well, this is it. We said we wanted, and you and I have both done work in in mindset and manifestation, and we don't know how the things that we want are going to show up, and sometimes they show up in not so great circumstances that kind of force us to look at, well, what is it that I really want in life?

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Yeah. Yeah, and and just recognizing that there's I think that one of the big breakthroughs I had earlier on was realizing that everything, you know, to take on anything new has an element of risk. And the sooner you can kind of accept that it's gonna take getting uncomfortable, it's going to take a level of risk, and it's going to take, you know, vulnerability and potentially messing it all up to get out of it stronger and faster and just doing it. It really is. I and I'm I'm not trying to make it sound simple because it isn't easy. And I would love to say, you know, when we were hit with all this news, we just think, you know, went to this place of meditation and we're like, oh no, this is what we do next. Of course, we went through, oh my gosh, what are we gonna do? And we had some sleepless nights, and then it was just like, okay, I've I've I've I've felt the feelings, and now it's like, let's let's do something about it. And it I it really is a process, and you know, there really isn't that perfectly ready. There were there have been many times where I've been trying to sort out my problems or plan my core courses or or figure out what we're gonna do, you know, while sitting behind a computer and not actually putting myself out there. And I think that that can be something that we we get so cerebral when we're thinking, overthinking what we want to do and how it's gonna go. And we're imagining all of it, but we we mistake that for action. And then, you know, all of those miracles and transformation exist in taking it to that next level where you're putting yourself out there and you're putting yourself at risk and you're you're really kind of embracing that discomfort and and trying it out like in real time.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

I love that. Thinking about something is not the same as doing it, I think that and well, sometimes we think it like we have the experience, it is oh, I've thought about this for a long time, but it's not until you actually, you know, step forward and and even if it's something small, like take an action that moves you closer to what it is that you want. Yeah, absolutely. So, why what does peak performance mean? You know, other like what does it mean for you to be in peak performance? And then really what is the relationship? Because one of the things that you talk about is, and and you can kind of see in the merging together of Courtney's experience and background and in well-being, physical well-being in yours and relationships and corporate culture, of this merging of of relationship and and physical performance or of you know being taking care of our bodies. So what what do what does that peak performance mean to you, Susanna? Yeah, that's a great question.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

Yeah, really, I think it's hard to be your best if you're not feeling your best. You know, if you're um, you know, feeling sick or even just feeling down or feeling defeated, it's gonna be really hard to get up in the morning and be like, yes, today's the day. You know, when was the last time you accomplished something great when you were you felt terrible? And so we thought if we could have people feel really good about themselves first, like on a physical level, then it would be easier to kind of move them into the next level as far as um, okay, now that that I'm able to kind of change my physical state, now I'm able to recognize the feelings of being empowered, of of feeling um like I've overcome whether it's a physical obstacle, like like a discipline, ideas of discipline, then okay, now I can move on to taking on something else that I want. And we identified really quickly that the biggest gap in people taking action was just carving out time for themselves. So we thought, okay, if people aren't carving out time for themselves, how can we support them with carving out the time for themselves? And how can we hold them accountable and create a group and community around it? So we thought, okay, everybody, we're gonna meet. Courtney and I are gonna talk for five minutes, and then we're gonna give you 40 minutes to really, or about 30, 35 minutes to really work on like, let's get in a workout, let's get in some mindset and some journaling so that you're empowered and set up to take on those bigger obstacles and to really put yourself out there. And and and we recognize that the, you know, by pairing physical exercise with mindset work, it was almost easier to have people be open about what it is that they want. You know, so many times you ask somebody what you want, and and they give you all of the things that they don't want, and there's so much resistance. But we found, okay, everybody, we're gonna, I want you to do 10 minutes of you know, hot in interval training. So, you know, where you're you're exerting yourself for one minute and then relax for 30 seconds and then one more minute. It's your level, your choice of activity, but get out of your head and into your body for a second, and then allow yourself to open up. And we don't just do it with exercise, we also do it with cold showers. So if you're really in a funk and you're feeling like you're just resisting everything and you don't want to do anything, you can't just shock yourself into a complete state change where now it's like that whatever's getting in the way is is out there, and you can start really thinking about what it is that you want and what how how to create it and and just come from a space that's that's just a little more loving and gentle with yourself so that you can you know go after those bigger things because you're feeling good first, and then you're opening yourself up to all of those other conversations that are happening up here.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

I I love how you included cold showers and loving yourself in the same sentence because I'm not so sure my brain is like that that's an act of love. A cold shower is an act of love, but I I a hundred percent, like it's like breaking you out of the mental minutia, right? Like I say, we say this all the time like mental activity is not the same as thinking. And like when you're in like just that space of being in your head and it's like a lot of mental activity, it's not moving you any closer. So I I totally understand. I don't know if I'll be doing any polar bear swims, but I I am willing to take on trying uh the cool charity because I we I think we all, you know, this is the human condition, right? It's not like we all have those moments, and I think the more personal development we do, the less they happen. But it's always good to have accountability partners, coaches, tools to be able to be, you know, interrupt that when we find ourselves there.

SPEAKER_01 13:38

Uh and that's go go ahead. I was I was just gonna say that that little voice that you have in your head when you're going to turn your shower to that cold, you know, to that cold setting, that one that's saying, don't do it, it's not gonna feel good, you're gonna be uncomfortable, however, that or or this is stupid or this isn't worth it, that is that same limiting belief that shows up in the things that you want to do, you know, whenever you want to take that risk or take that jump or go for that new job or go for that date, whatever however it shows up for you. So it's essentially just practicing overriding that and doing it anyways. And then there are there's tons of you know physiological benefits to it.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

Well, you know, I I trust you, so I will definitely take it right. It's interesting because I found myself when you were sharing about you know, this is what the voice in the head does, right? Compares like people say things to us and it's like, oh, does that ring true for me? When you were talking about having to be and and you know, not having to be, but like the when you're not feeling good, can you accomplish great things? And I look back at my life, and if I'm being really straight, I've spent most of my life not taking care of myself very well physically. I mean, something that I've been really committed to and taking on more since COVID started. And um so I'm sitting here and I'm like, is that true? Like I've accomplished accomplished a lot of like, because this is what the voice in our head does, right? And then I'm sitting there going, well, what's the what's the opportunity loss? Like, how much more could I have accomplished coming from taking care of myself first and then being in action moving forward versus like soldiering on or the grinding it out or pushing through pain or all of these things? And I when I look back at my life, there was a like I've shared this a couple of times on the podcast, and I I didn't know it usually shocks people. Like, I literally showed I used to I I have showed up to work with a walking IV because it had walking in the title. And if it had walking in the title, I could still go to work, right? Like and that didn't at the time, I look like I seriously, everyone listening, I look back at that now and it's ludicrous. And I don't suggest going to work with a walking IV. And at the time, inside of my paradigm, the way the world occurred for me, that made sense. And so I'm like, yeah, you know, I can really I can get the value in like discovering how much better it can be when the the physical well-being is like when we feel good, and then take action from that place of feeling good.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

Yeah, I think you nailed it. I think you know, and you made a great point. There is a lot that we can still be high functioning and not feeling great about ourselves. And yeah, I think what you pointed to is it can be a grind and you're pushing yourself and you're exhausted, and there's it just feels like your wheels are spinning. And yeah, you can definitely still get some things done, but it really is is like, does it can I accomplish things and do them with a little bit more freedom? Or can I accomplish it and actually feel like uh like feel good about what was accomplished versus this is something I have to do? Um, you know, something think it's like that idea of like instead of having to do something, you get to do something. And when you're I find that when you're in that that peak state where you're feeling really good about yourself and you're taking those actions, it feels easier and like there's more joy and there's more happiness, and you get to look at it from a creative standpoint instead of like this like, I have to do this, uh, I hope it works out, or you know, what what is the cost of doing this on like what is the toll that this this is gonna take on my body? And if you're going after you know after your goals so hard that it's taking a toll on your body, then eventually you're gonna hit that goal and you're not gonna be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor because you don't have the energy to do it. And so it's it's a it's a delicate balance. Yes, you can't feel great a hundred percent of times, and there's still times that we have to do the things that we don't want to do or love doing, but it's being able to kind of recognize I have control over the way, you know, over my thoughts, my feelings, and my actions. So if there's something, even if it's small that I can do to get myself into um a better headspace to be able to take that on, then you're gonna do it with a lot more freedom, a lot more ease and energy behind it, which just makes life easier.

SPEAKER_02 18:31

Yeah, and I think like it's like the default context that we come from, right? Like for a long time I expected life to be hard and I made life hard because I had like that, was a my belief system was all like making money was hard, I could only depend on me, you know, uh like being getting in shape was hard. Life was just hard. I had gone through struggle, and so my brain was like hardwired to struggle. And even when my circumstances shifted and there wasn't so much like actual struggle in the circumstances, and I get that struggle's a frame, but like when there's the the my circumstances improved, I would go out of my way and make things more difficult because that's what I was hardwired for. So I would procrastinate and leave things till the last minute. So I would get in that energy of, oh yeah, it's still hard, versus like, well, how do I want it to be? Yeah. Like given like I get to create my experience of achieving the result, not just the result. And how do I want the experience of achieving these things to be in my life?

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Yeah, well, I think we're creatures of habit, as you mentioned. So, you know, when we're doing things, uh, you know, leaving things into the last minute or or used to coming from that place of panic or anxiety, it's what we know and what we feel comfortable with. And so a lot of what we do is look at, well, what are some new habits that you can you can put in place? But to do that, you you need to look at, well, what is there to eliminate so that you have room for those habits? Otherwise, it's just like you're adding more habits and more things, and we all have busy lives. So it's really about like letting go of the things that don't serve you and creating those new patterns, those new thoughts, those new habits and small habits, you know, and and you know, we have a thing called habit stacking where it's like, you know, you pair brushing your teeth with saying a positive affirmation in the mirror. Or, you know, when you're you're um you know, chopping up your your food or meal prepping, you're really thinking about, well, you know, what is this about this act that I may not, you know, this physical activity that I may not enjoy? How does this connect to my values as far as honoring my body and you know, feeding my family? So that you're kind of moving away from, oh, I'm doing, you know, I'm prepping my lunch and I don't feel like doing it to like this more of this intrinsic place of like this has a deeper meaning than just you know chopping carrots.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

So great. Because we're we we we're always choosing the frame or not, but there's always a way we're framing what we're doing in life, right? A context that we're applying a meaning. And so when we really get that we can create what we want, we're not stuck with the kind of inherent or default meaning that comes you know from our past. That I think that's like life becomes more joyous at that point.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Absolutely, right?

SPEAKER_02 21:32

Like you can really like find joy in in anything, including chopping vegetables. And I was on, I was like, I just got on Clubhouse recently, for like which is a new platform for connecting with people, and they were having this conversation about neuroplasticity in the brain. And and I just jumped into this room and they happened to be talking about intermittent fasting and and how you like how you speak about intermittent fasting and you know different. different labels for it and names. And and the woman said something that I thought was really brilliant. She said, the intention behind something is like as important as the thing itself. And she said, you know, like, because one of the people on the panel was like, yeah, my mom just calls it me skipping breakfast. When I say I'm intermittently fasting, like I'm trying to be posture something by calling it intermittent fasting when really all you're doing is skipping breakfast. And she said, no, the intention matters. There's a whole world of difference between I'm choosing to eat only at certain times in order to take care of my body versus something I know I did for a long time in my life, which was like get too busy with work and not eat. Like the observable behavior there's just not food going into your mouth is the same, but really one is one cares for the body and one you know cares for your well-being and the other one is an act of well, you know, not loving yourself, not caring for yourself, not not putting you first in your life, right? I thought that was really neat.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

It it is a really great point. I, you know, a mentor of mine said something similar you know when she was talking about um weight loss she's you know there was always a question of well what will this make available to you in your life or what will losing weight mean for you? And you know a lot of people are like you know they get so stuck in in the number on the scale and she said well listen if you want to lose a quarter of your body weight you can chop off your leg and there you go. You've got it. And it was such an extreme example as far as like yes I know that I will be lighter but that's not the that's not what you want. So we get obsessed with these tiny details when you know when we really think about well what is it that I like how will I feel when I have that and you know what will that mean for you know whether it's your self-expression or or feeling good about yourself or feeling sexy for your partner or feeling you know like this new relationship with discipline like what whatever it is for you there there is that intentionality and there is like a lot of what we do is kind of look at well what is the deeper meaning and how does that connect to what with the values that you have for yourself because those are those are are easier and more tangible to to identify you know if if you really value connection and and love then it it's going to be easier to go out there and and and find a a partner because you know that it's it's about connecting with others and not about being this version of yourself that you or or trying to be something that you're I don't know what I'm trying to say but trying to be something that you're not in hopes of attracting somebody that you think wants those qualities. Right. Do you know what I mean? Then you're going to show up that way um and and not be so concerned about what other people are thinking about you.

SPEAKER_02 25:03

Yeah no I love it. I think it coming from a place of authenticity and and and realness and alignment right because that was one of the things I really heard in what you were just saying Susanna it's like the congruence like who I be what I think what I feel how I act is consistent with with my own creation and that like that's my mission here on this planet right my mission is that people get to create their own yardsticks their own measures for success and happiness and that like this notion of a a photocopy your life or that we all like no we're all individuals and what what it means for you to be successful and happy is not the same as what it means for me and that people get freed up to actually ask those questions and be in that inquiry what and and give up this notion that in order to have love connection and belonging I have to somehow sacrifice kill off the things that I want to to have my life be acceptable to others right or you know and so I think that I think that's really important. And you kind of you pointed to a couple of times to discipline as I've been going through this course life book I was like really look it comes up a lot like in every category of life. And so it you know it's helpful I think to really dig and look and for those of you like listening to this conversation what is your relationship to the word discipline self-control you know like how do you feel about uh that word because I know words can be real triggers for us like the word surrender for a long time just went right up my back. Now I'm good with it. But like so because your physiological response to a word or your mental response to a word can give you a sense of the beliefs that sit behind it. And I I now have a very I've been affirming a lot around like I control me. Like I'm I'm in the driver's seat here. It's not out there in the food or anything like I say how it goes.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

And I think that's um I think it was a very powerful place to live your life from it it is I I totally understand that discipline is one of those words with with a strong connotation and you know sometimes people think like it's almost like this militant um thing that you adopt and a way of being and we're definitely more about you know not not being disciplined in the sense that everything's perfect and everything's structured and it's you know must be like this but more so from the idea that when we're constantly saying you know I'm going to meditate or I'm going to go to the gym or I'm going to eat healthy or I'm going to you know have a cold shower and you don't do it it just it chips away it chips away at what you think you're capable of it it it chips away of um it chips away your confidence and and it I feel like it just keeps chipping away every time we say that we're going to do something and we don't do it. And it's wrapped up in integrity like whether you want to look at it as integrity or or or discipline. And and then we start to relate to ourselves as you know well I'm just lazy or I'm just not disciplined enough or you start relating to yourself as somebody that just will never follow through on things. And that can be again a really hard place to start creating things because you know you want to have uh something different in your life but not but but the way you relate to yourself is like well you know if I can't even like exercise or if I can't even take five minutes a day to meditate like I've been telling myself I'm going to do for a long time, then the likelihood of you taking that next step and moving forward and going after something that you really want is going to be a lot harder and it's going to feel like more of a struggle. But if we take it back and we look at okay you know if we create so for part of our our peak 60 day challenge we really look at let's let's look at 60 days you're going to do these six habits and you're just going to use this as your playground to practice building that relationship with your discipline. And it's again it's it's about it's not about you know you did it or you didn't do it and that's discounted. It's like well today I I did you know today I did five minutes of of meditation which is five minutes more than I've done in my lifetime and really celebrating that and really looking at how can you on a on a daily basis repair or heal that relationship with yourself so that you start relating to yourself as somebody that's fully capable of doing the things that that you've been saying that you're going to do. And and it helps to have that group of people with you that are also you know having the same challenges and and that are kind of up and down with their discipline as well and and are are learning to create this this version of themselves where they know that they're capable and and like you know you know you're capable you know that you can you know give yourself um you know the in our community you know give yourself a command and follow through on it.

SPEAKER_02 30:15

So just yeah it's got so many things that my brain is just like oh all the things that like why I think it it's like knowing yourself as reliable like being reliable to yourself. And and the neat thing about integrity or discipline it's like when it shows up in one area of your life it it shows up everywhere right so if you increase your level of integrity and your physical well-being or as part of this like I just kicked off an accountability club too too it's starting on March 1st like to create opportunities for people to to study and work on whatever whether it's business development or meditate. And but it's like when you when you become more reliable to be your word to yourself in one area or others it's got like a a trickle effect right because it should you become more reliable everywhere. But I just got I think when you we were talking about the word discipline and language is so fascinating because I think about where does my relationship with the word discipline first come from and it came from being spanked when I was bad as a child and not like I my mom I got nothing going on about it for anyone listening like my mom was it was like it it came from a place of love and that was what parents did at the time but that was discipline to be disciplined was to to be punished for doing something that was bad. Well no wonder we don't really you know for those of us who have that like as children that was our first interaction with the word discipline no wonder we're all a little like wonky about it right because it's like not an empowering like and this is you and I know from the work we've done in mindset is like these are hard grooved in our brains. Like you hear discipline as a small child over and over again in that context you probably don't even realize that when you hear it now it's like makes you shudder because you think back to you know your brain's kind of hardware around that.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

So I just saw that in this conversation like a well amazing I mean it it really is it's it's just about repairing that relationship with what you think you're capable of. So if you want to replace discipline with integrity or with reliability then by all means and you know it's not intended to be that kind of but you know that thing that stops you or or holds you back but just really looking at like you know this is something that I'm fully capable of. Yeah what takes you out.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Well this is it I think it's in like it's uh you I say to people all the time the awareness has to come first right if you don't have the awareness then then it's just hidden from your view and you don't know you know maybe you've never even asked the question and you know our mentor would say the quality of your life is given by the quality of the questions you ask like what why do I have the relationship I do with discipline and so one of the one of the quotes that I or books that I read earlier in my career that made the biggest difference for me in terms of my relationship to like discipline and integrity and and keeping my commitments was from a gentleman by the name of Stephen Covey Jr. His dad wrote the seven habits of highly effective people and in the quote Covey says when keeping your commitments becomes hard you have one of two choices you can either lower change your behavior to match your commitment or you can lower your value your values to match your behavior and and I remember having like Suzanne I remember having a really visceral response to that those words and being like oh I don't want to be the kind of person who lowers my values to match my behavior and I would love to kind of hear your thoughts on that.

SPEAKER_01 33:57

That's such a powerful quote you know and um it's interesting I heard a different variation of it um I was we're working a lot with youth athletes right now and a sports psychologist that I was listening to said you can either um change your goal to match your effort or increase your effort to match your goal. And it's kind of along those same lines of of your like analyzing your commitments and and your values but it's it's that same point of you know am I going to be somebody that sacrifices something that's like inherently um important to me um because of uh a limiting belief or something that's holding me back or am I just going to go for it and give it everything that I've got and you know whichever way I think if you if you if you lower your goal to match your effort or you increase your effort to match your goal you know it's it's about making that choice powerfully and recognizing you know am I am I sacrificing something because it's not feasible right now and I have an alternative plan in place to make it happen or am I giving up before I even give it a a fair a fair shot like is always kind of the place to look like what is what is underneath this this I don't know sacrifice that I'm making if it's if you see it that way.

SPEAKER_02 35:19

Yeah you know I'm really present right now to U Squared for you know the book by Price Pritcher. Yeah because like it and it doesn't always have to look exactly the way we think it like you know yeah there may be effort to increase but it's like how can I have all of the things that are important to me and that I want and you know being in that inquiry of this is what I want and I don't know exactly how it's gonna look um and it doesn't have to look like killing myself and working 16 hours a day or you know like I I love what you said earlier in this conversation about like you know habit stacking and like so much of it is about I think getting you know doing the work internally on our limiting beliefs on how we we see things and and how the world occurs for us because that has a direct I believe that that has a direct relationship to the actions that we're gonna take. So if we believe that and I know I've dealt with this belief in my past like around my health and my wellbeing oh you're just gonna fall off the wagon eventually anyway so why does it matter? Right? Like you know versus like no every day I get to hit the reset button and it didn't matter what happened yesterday I'm gonna keep I'm gonna keep looking at different ways to take on my health and my well-being until I accomplish what I want and then like in that process know myself as being unstoppable in the pursuit of this thing that that I care about.

SPEAKER_01 36:50

Yeah and I I really believe that's what it's all about. You know it's not not this idea of perfection that we're gonna follow our diet perfectly that we're going to exercise you know eight times a week for three hours each session but really looking at okay if I make you know if I if I miss a session or if I make a poor food choice or if I if it doesn't go exactly as I planned I'm still going to acknowledge that I put that effort in and I'm gonna just get back on track. And I think that that's really what determines the quality of our character is that ability to recognize okay you know didn't quite go the way that I wanted to but I'm gonna pick myself up and I'm gonna do it again. And that's where the growth comes in and that's where the the you know if we're looking at our our quote unquote failures and we're able to say well this is what I learned from it this is how I grew then it makes it worthwhile then it was like it happened for a reason and we can use it to our our advantage to learn something about ourselves instead of using it to make ourselves wrong which perpetuates that that same behavior. So it it really is just about recognizing that we are you know we're human beings and yes we have discipline and sometimes that discipline can go in and out or our integrity can go in and out but it's what we do with that like how we you know persevere and continue to move through that and and that really helps when you're connected to those values when you're connected to your commitment when it's when it's beyond whatever numbers are on a scale or you know whatever you know money in the bank it's it's really what all of those things are going to how those things will make a difference for you in your life.

SPEAKER_02 38:31

Yeah thank you so much because what you just said represenced for me Tuesday night of the landmark forum when we talk about declaring a breakdown and like it wouldn't even be a breakdown. It wouldn't live for us like a breakdown if we didn't have a commitment. Yeah and so like just declaring the breakdown is represences it's like the the person who's an alcoholic you know if they go out on a bender and get drunk it's not a breakdown for them. That's just life as lived and it's not I'm not there's no judgment they're not making it right or wrong. That's just life as lived but then the minute that they declare I want to get sober and they start taking actions to get sober and and break that pattern of addiction and if they do go out and drink now it's a breakdown because they have something to break down against right and so I think that I that had not been like you know we know things but that notion that idea of like declaring the breakdown and how that represence is the commitment had kind of gone out of my my conscious conscious awareness. So thank you for that reminder because I I think that is so powerful it wouldn't live as a breakdown if we didn't have a commitment to something different.

SPEAKER_01 39:45

Exactly it's it's the flip flip side of the same coin we wouldn't be upset if we didn't actually care about it but then we tend to focus on the things that upset us versus really looking at okay how can I recommit to this or what is it you know what is it about this that excited me in the first place about accomplishing it.

SPEAKER_02 40:03

Yeah really good well Susanna I just want to thank you so much for being on the show for those of you listening if you're you know want to take on your commitment around your performance your well-being relationships definitely want to check out Susanna and Courtney and Peak Performance Coaching. All of the information on how to get a hold of them will be available in the show notes. Susanna you know you're incredible I'm so grateful to have met you and gotten connected over the last you know since COVID really and just uh look forward to continuing to develop our relationship and friendship over the time. Thank you for being here today.

SPEAKER_01 40:40

Oh it was a pleasure and thank you so much for having me. It's a real honor Amber thank you.

SPEAKER_00 40:46

Thank you so much for joining us for this week's episode for show info visit whatwoodamberdo.com and for information about Amber Howard and associates offerings and services visit amberhowdinc.com