Welcome to What Would Amber Do with your host Amber Howard, your weekly dose of guidance, inspiration, and strategies to have your small business and whole life thrive. We bring you incredible guests who share their real life experiences of being an entrepreneur so you can have your whole life work. Now, here's your host, Amber Howard.

Good morning, everyone. Welcome back to What Would Amber Do. This morning, it is really my prev privilege. I was gonna like add pleasure and privilege and cry and try and create a new word. My pleasure and my privilege to be speaking with Kaylee Kennedy. Kaylee is a mindset coach, published children's author, and founder of the Mindset Mama, including being a mom to 18-month-old or soon to be 18-month-old Ethan. Kaylee's purpose is to connect with people in general, but really moms and help them embrace their journey with presence and ease. Kaylee, thank you so much for being on the show this morning.

Thank you for having me. I'm I'm honored and grateful to be here.

Yeah, so good. Uh Kaylee and I, for the for the audience listening, we participated in uh, you know, with with Danielle Amos in Thinking Into Results. And I know, Kaylee, you're still, you know, working with and and um being coached and mentored by Danielle, and you know, thinking into results has been a highlight of my personal development experience. So just great to connect with you in this space. So talk to me a little bit about uh I also know from you know watching you on social media and stuff that you've recently fully exited your corporate gig. So tell me a little bit about your journey to to becoming an entrepreneur and and starting the Mindset Mama and uh what's that been like for you?

Yeah, for sure. So um really like when I when I got pregnant, um, so this is going quite a bit back now, over two years back, I just had, you know, I had this thought that I didn't want to, I wanted to be be with my son. I wanted to be home, or I didn't know he was my son at the time, but with my baby. And I wanted to to be able to be present, um, you know, looking at and and doing my research into like daycare and different options. It was like I'd be going to work and giving half my salary to someone else to raise my my child. It was like just something that had been in in my mind um while I was pregnant. And um, and I'd I'd been in in network marketing for a couple of years before um before, and it really wasn't wasn't going anywhere for me. Um But uh through network marketing, I got into personal development and I started, you know, I was reading lots of books and starting to learn more about myself. Um so kind of fast forward to when I started working with with how we know each other with Danielle, um, I was about six months pregnant and I knew I needed to make a change. And um for, you know, to be able to, you know, leave my corporate job and stay home and work around my so my husband's a shift worker for for example. Um he's a paramedic, so he works 12-hour shifts, four on, four off. So like working around like my family schedule was really, really important to me. And uh where I was at before I started working with Danielle was like that was not even a thought. Like there was no way I think I was earning like $500 a month on a good month in my network marketing business. So that wasn't gonna cover it. Um, so really like I just I got into to mindset work and working with her to build my business. But what I didn't really realize was that there were so many parts of me subconsciously, so many blocks and things that were causing me a lot of anxiety and a lot of fear about becoming a mom. And not only just um, you know, to be able to achieve my goal of being able to stay home, but um really like just losing control, you know, losing control of my my life, my schedule, my freedom, like all of these things I didn't really think of. And then I started studying myself and realized like this is this is a big thing. And I like I got to work very quickly on releasing those those blocks. And like, you know, I I say it like it was easy. It took a lot of, you know, a lot of work, a lot of affirmations, a lot of digging deep. So really, I would say like the first half of my my journey as a mom was really just becoming present to um becoming the mom I wanted to be and releasing that fear and that anxiety and that control and really just like letting things happen. Like I have post-it notes all over my house that say the word let and the word trust. Because those are two things that like for me, it's just letting things, letting things happen, knowing they're happening for a reason, knowing they're happening for me, all of these things. So because that was my experience becoming a mom, I had this really like it was just easy for me. Like, and I this and I never adapted to anything easy in like any new situation easily in my life before this. And like becoming a parent is a huge thing. And I had people like they were asking me what I was doing, like, how is this so easy for you? Like, how like you just like you know, went into this um, to this new big huge journey in life with ease, and like just and that's not not the way I had used to be. And that's when the idea came about helping other moms like with the tools that I learned through through studying, thinking, and results, being able to help other moms develop those tools so that it doesn't have to be hard and that they can control their own parenting journey, really. And um just creating that like that adaptability and releasing that control. That was that was the one thing that I noticed um coming up for so many people that I knew who were like the opposite of me before they had kids. They were like, they were like the easygoing, like, you know, let it fly people. And then they had kids and they were like control, control, control. And I was like, I just it just made me realize that what I had and what I had learned is so powerful and so important. And it's like it's I felt like it was like my job and my responsibility to to share this, like, you know, this work, this mindset work that can be so powerful and really can change like the course of not only, you know, my own parenting journey, but how I raise my son and how like being aware of the words that I use around my son and like you know, like what we what we study in thinking and results, like the conscious and subconscious mind, really understanding that programming and how I can help, you know, my son with these things that it took me over 30 years to figure out that I, you know, had these blocks and these things that were, you know, you were holding me back even from being like a joyful, present like parent, you know. I so that's kind of like my whole my whole journey. It's uh, you know, it started before, but that's that's that's kind of what led me into to just the this vision of being able to help other other parents and children. And um as you mentioned, like I I am coming up on the end of my maternity leave and I have been able to say goodbye to my corporate job. And this was this week actually that I was able to call call my manager because I have things in place that I know like you know, we're we're good now. And I, you know, so it's just it's it's it's a dream come true for me. And I just get and I'm just so grateful I get to serve other parents in in ways that like have just helped me and my family so much.

So, well, first, congratulations. It's uh, you know, it's always a great feeling when we uh achieve a goal and you know, like actually see the results that we want in our life. And as much as life is like about the experience of achieving the goals, it's it's nice when you can actually say, you know what? I said I wanted this and and it's here, and I get to now you know kind of create this next phase of of life being home with Ethan, which you know that's really beautiful. I you said so many uh wonderful things that I could really dig in on, but I, you know, what I'm present to really, Kaylee, is uh parenting, like you know, we're this this podcast is about entrepreneurs, but so much of our journey starts in childhood with those beliefs. And, you know, this is my belief, this is my truth. I know you share it, um, because we've had those conversations and we've been doing some of the same work together. But so much of our experience as adults starts in childhood before our parents are even consciously aware that they're helping us form lifelong beliefs. And, you know, and as entrepreneurs, like I talked to lots of people, and and I know lots of entrepreneurs bump up against hidden beliefs, limiting beliefs that they didn't even know. And then these beliefs actually, like we know, they get their foundation unwittingly often in parents saying things to us without, you know, at a very young age, without even realizing that they're they're coding us kind of thing for for lifelong beliefs that might might limit our potential or limit, you know, and it's it's so interesting to me because I I know as a mom myself, like we only ever want to give our kids everything. And yet we don't even, you know, often because we're not consciously parenting, and many people didn't even know, like, even that language, like consciously parenting, that parenting could be something that's created that we create versus like I'm I'm writing my book right now on standards and measures for success and happiness, and and it's causing me to like really dig back into things like tradition and and beliefs and values and and all of these things and where do they come from and and you know how do they impact us as we live our lives. So um I think it's very relevant to on a show about entrepreneurs to talk about parenting, to talk about mindset, and like just really acknowledge you for the work that you're doing, you know, and living it, right? Like, because I think that's as coaches, as people, one of the things that I constantly hear back from my clients is like you're on the court doing the work. And it's not always pretty, by the way. The last couple of days, if anyone had had a video camera watching my life, they would have been like, you're a, you know, you're an evolved human being with tools that does not look that way right now, as you like sit in a chair and get coaching and cry your heart out or whatever, right? Like, but doing the work in your relationship with Ethan, doing the work in your relationship with your husband, you know, being someone who says, I want, you know, wow, this is a new journey I'm on, and I want to be at home with my son, and I still want to be earning a great income and being able to support my five, my, my, my, myself, and my family financially. I don't know how to make that work. And I'm sure 18 months ago, night, you know, two years ago, two and a half years ago, you had no idea what it would look like today, and you don't know what it's gonna look like even five years from now. But like you created that goal and you said, no, this, I'm committed to this, this matters to me. And and I think um, like it all starts from there.

Yes. The I think the first thing that like we learn in the program that that we study together is the how is not up to us. Yeah. It's it's and that's and that's where people get so stuck, is they get stuck on that how because we're programmed to think of all of those. And this goes back to that subconscious programming, right? We're programmed to think of how well, like, oh, I want this, but how is it possible? Right. And then we get stuck on that how, and we like it, just our dreams like fizzle away because we're stuck on that, right? And when we you just keep that goal in mind, I mean, I had always thought that like um, you know, until not that long ago, that like it would be the only way I'd be able to stay home was my network marketing business. Like that was that was the thing. I was stuck on that because that was what I was doing at the time. That was the only additional thing I had at the time. Now I have five streams of income. So it's like that I didn't have like even a year ago. So it's just it's interesting, like really, like when you focus on that goal, like you were saying, and like that that end goal, how and you open up to it things and ideas, and you start acting on those things, right? Like that's that's essentially how the mindset mama was built was I had an idea and I just I was like, I'm gonna do this. And I just I I basically bought the domain before I even had a business plan. I was like, I liked the mindset mama, it's like really resonates with me.

I went on like GoDaddy, I found it was available, so I bought it and I was like, I don't know what I'm gonna do with this, and then I just built stuff from there, so it's all good, I love it, and it's so funny because you you know, we talk about like getting caught up on the how is like part of and I would assert, you know, that all human beings deal with this or all adults anyway. But children don't come into this world getting caught up in the how, right? We don't start out like Ethan is not worried about the how. Ethan's like, I want the cookie, give me the cookie, I'm getting the cookie, right? Like, and children are the most powerful manifestors, they get everything that they want because they're not concerned, they're persistent, they're focused, and they don't care about the how. They're just like, I want that, yeah, right. And they and and they don't they don't differentiate between what's possible and not what's not possible. That's learned behavior. And so I'm I'm you know, and I know a number of parents like this was not available to me. You know, my kids are 25, 24, and 15 now. You know, I'm grateful that I started my personal development, you know. I would, I mean, I would say I was uh what Danielle would call a unconscious, competent. I was teaching my kids from being long before I learned about personal development, just like that was intuitive for me. Maybe it was my studies in philosophy or just something I intuitively knew. And but there was a lot of things that I did, decisions I made, ways that I was with my kids, um, that were not coming from a really great place. Because, you know, one of the biggest things that was missing for me for a long part of my journey was loving myself. And I can see how I passed, you know, those behaviors, shame, stuff like that. And um, and I'm really grateful. I mean, Keegan's personal journey started, personal development journey started at 10, Kaelin Matthew, you know, 19 and 20. Um, but man, like a generation, show me a generation of kids whose parents are consciously parenting, who, you know, show me a generation of kids who grow up with parents who get not like it's like some kind of like strait jacket where you know you're like, oh my God, I'm afraid to say something to my child because I might wound them. Like not like that, but more like that being a parent gets to be like how we parent, how we you know relate with our children uh is a choice and it gets to be a creation. And we get to create what it actually means to be a mother and a father in a family. Um, I I I think that's just really magical. And just thank you for for being someone who is not only living that in your your as your life day in and day out, but is like committed to having other parents get that that's possible for them too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's like it's funny that you say too, like, you know, I still catch myself saying words that I I don't want to use. Like one of the one of the ones that I I don't want to use is can't. And and this is how I explain it to my husband is like, you know, Ethan's climbing up on something and it's like, you know, telling him he can't do that. Well, no, he physically can do that. He just shouldn't do it, right? Like because he like it's it's high and he's not quite there yet. He's still a little bit wobbly and he often falls, right? So, but it's just changing how you say those things because when you say like and that, and I still catch myself saying it, and then I I kind of go back and I was like, I'm gonna try this again, right? And it's just like I kind of like press the rewind button and and and and a do a do over um when I do catch myself. But it's like it's just those words that like, you know, like the word can't is like one of the like the most harmful words. Like that that word like crushes more dreams than anything else, right? Because we just then we start believing that we can't do things that we actually can do, because you know, physically we can do all of these things when we're kids, but it's when people keep telling us like you can't do that, you can't, it's like, well, no, you can do it, you just shouldn't do it, and why, and explaining it and kind of like shifting that. And I I I try not to say shouldn't either, um, but you know, or just I what I do is I direct in a different way, right? Like it's okay, he's doing something that he could hurt himself. So I let's play with this toy, or like I kind of get on the ground with him and you know, like direct him away from what he's doing to something that, you know, I'd prefer for him to be doing that's safer or whatever. Um, and just trying not to use like the words can't and shouldn't and and be careful. Like that's one that I catch myself saying often. And I know it's because all of the people around me, you know, are always saying, Oh, be careful, be careful. Like when I was growing up and with Ethan, and it's like, well, you know, I I want him to learn to take risks and go after the things he wants. And when you're thinking, being careful all the time, it's so it's it's it's really interesting, and it's a test too, like for me, just to find, you know, more positive and encouraging, empowering words to use, especially when like, you know, we were so programmed that it's still like that's that's that um initial reaction, which I I really do try to respond. I and I do respond more than react, as as you know, one of the lessons in thinking and results is like really focused on that. And there's still those moments where you react, and then it's like taking a step back and then thinking about how what is a better response and what would serve him better and and you know, and even like the energy and all of that stuff. It's just it's interesting and it's it is a it's a practice though, like conscious parenting is a practice, it's something you have to do, like or you get to do, sorry, all the time. And it and it becomes a habit. But these, like, you know, like our parents did the best that they could with what they had, right? And though, and those beliefs and those words and those things, like I find myself saying things that my grandparents say or whatever, and it's like um they're still in there, but at least I have that awareness, right? And it's able to like make those shifts and and just change, change the words and change the the way I interact with Ethan. But you know, it's it's it's interesting, it's it's fun, actually. I'm reading a book right now, which is really interesting, and it's called it's by um Domin. I can't remember the first name, and it's how to multiply your baby's intelligence. And it's a book all about like in how like we learn from our environment. I'm only a couple chapters in, but uh essentially later in the book it goes into showing you how to teach like your one-year-old how to read and how to like do math and all of these things. And it's it's just like it's really interesting because it talks about repetition and you know, and stating facts and like words are facts, and it's just it's really cool. I've uh it's actually been it's recommended in um a program I'm studying by Bob Proctor, and he recommends it for everyone, not just for parents. And of course, as a as a parent of a young child, I was like, I'm gonna pick this up. And it's it's really interesting. And um, I find too, with like my conscious parenting journey, um, reading more books like that too, that I can really tie into um to what I'm learning in mindset work and how to use it as a parent. Because I'm you know, I'm still like I'm in the thick of it, right? Like, as you mentioned, I'm practicing what I preach. Um, but that programming, it's still there, right? It's still, it still comes up and it's just continuing to to better, you know, get 1% better as a mom and as a as a you know human every single day.

You're uh sharing about Ethan and your journeys reminding me of like when Keegan was little, my my youngest son. Um anytime he would go to be like physical, you know, when like when children are for, you know, so he like you know, be rough or something like that. I would uh I would just redirect him and say, you know, like I would have him stroke my face and I'd be like gentle touch. And uh you know, he's six foot two now and he calls me his squishy, um, which I'm not so sure I love. All of my children are taller than me, um, considerably taller than me. And uh, but there is like a real uh gentleness to his spirit, like and there has been since he was such a small child. And I I sometimes wonder, you know, like if that part of that got born from, you know, and it wasn't like don't hit or it's wrong. You know, like it was just like having, you know, having him get that there was an there's another way to to be, right. And um, you know, I mean, he gets rough and tumble and he and his siblings play fight and, you know, they still do all of that stuff. But there's just a a real lightness and a real gentleness to his soul and his spirit that I I um yeah, I really, really appreciate and enjoy um just being with him. It's it's beautiful. And you know, talking about that repetition, I and we know that that's one of the ways that we can reprogram our subconscious minds through through um through repetition, you have written some books for children. You've got two so far. Called you one's called you are beautiful, the other's you are capable and there are positive affirmation books for kids and parents. Talk to me a little bit about that journey to writing those books.

Yeah. So I being you know being in in the work that that that we were in um when Ethan was born I started just saying affirmations to him you know as I was cuddling him before bed and rocking him in in his rocking chair and I just you know I kept repeating them every single night and um you know you are beautiful you are capable there's there's others I'm not gonna I'm there's a whole series of books so I'm gonna leave a little bit of suspense because my kind of top five affirmations I'm turning into books this year. But uh saying those affirmations to him every night and um and then just you know becoming present to the fact that not everyone is familiar with affirmations. And I was like you know I'm gonna actually I'm gonna look and see if there's like a book a really good like a book on on an Amazon because you know we're in the middle of a pandemic at this time. So I was Amazon and I was looking for positive affirmation children's books and I wasn't really finding anything. You know I found some like some great positive positive books but what I was really looking for was that simple repetition um like inclusivity in in the imagery like all of these things just to really you know to to show Ethan that like you know it's everyone and especially because he's a pandemic baby he's never played with another kid before so showing him like you know images of other children and all of these things um so I didn't find it. So I was and and this this is where like my journey of of self-discovery over the over my entire pregnancy and or not my entire pregnancy but most of my pregnancy and uh and through Ethan's birth was like I had the idea and I took inspired action and I was like I'm going to write books because I can't I'm not finding them so I'm gonna write them. And so I had the idea and I just started you know jotting down some ideas and I want to say the idea came to me like last spring I think I'm gonna say I think it was May because I recently did like a clearing and cutting exercise for last year. So I think it was May by June June or July I'd already reached out to a couple publishers and I just like that's how quickly I got the ball rolling because I just had this idea and and really it was just to be able to give those those gifts to other children because I know those affirmations and repeating those affirmations are going to help Ethan develop that belief and and confidence in himself that you know it took me 30 something years to to to develop in my in my own self just by like especially in the and this is what I learned in the book that I'm reading actually and I always kind of knew it was the first couple years but it's really like birth to six is where the the subconscious mind really just soaks everything in. And those those are the years that it's you know the what we're saying and and um what we're telling our children really can shape the person that they can become so it was like I'm gonna write these books and just be able to give this gift to other other parents and other children who may not have the awareness of the the power of affirmations and um and that was kind of my journey and it's like it's it's been amazing and I've just I've you know I I I wrote them for me really because I wanted you know to be able to share this with my son but being able to give this gift to other parents and you know I've just I've received so many amazing messages too from these books. It's like I'm getting like emotional because it's just you know like really realizing the power that these books can have over children and who they grow up to be and and parents even starting to develop these affirmations. I actually this is a kind of a a funny story. So I was having a this was a few months ago a low moment and I was kind of getting feeling a lot of self-doubt and and um and just kind of it you know getting a bit hard on myself and actually one of my friends she said why don't you read your book why don't you go read yourself your book and look in the mirror and I was like oh yeah and I took so I took my book You are beautiful and I like looked at myself in the mirror and I read it and it was like just this emotion just came like to and through me and I like literally like left feeling better about myself and it's like so these aren't just for children like they you know these affirmations and these beliefs are just so powerful for children and parents and yeah so it's I'm I uh am going book two is like just freshly on Amazon this week. I don't even have a copy yet to be perfectly honest. Mine uh Prime tells me it's due on Monday um and I'm already starting on book book three and my goal is to have five out by the end of the year.

That's well one again congratulations that's amazing and uh you know the auto suggestion is just so powerful and I and I you know I think sometimes people don't that's really what we're talking about when we're talking about affirmations right we're talking and and I know I like I I may have even been this person before is like affirmations like doesn't work but it's like we're actually auto suggesting and affirming ourselves all the time right it's just most of the time what we're saying on repeat with emotion is not lovely. And we actually end up hypnotizing ourselves in our own mind with this the the internal self-talk if we don't interrupt it right and so you know it's again it comes back to this conversation about create it right I believe that we are a network of conversations include you know as human beings that's what human beings are it's just a network of conversations that happen around us with us from us to others others to us and the conversation that we have with ourselves about ourselves about life and that's either going to be a repeated conversation from the past or it's going to be something new that we choose to create and so by you know you choose choosing the affirmations that uh create what it is that you want. And there's this great uh book I've talked about many many times about Louise Hay you can heal your life and in the gift version of that book that you can get on Amazon in the back of it she's got a list of diseases and their probable causes in thinking and then new cause and new thought patterns that you can create that would create a different outcome. Right. And I it's um you know nothing that we're saying here is new. It's always giants standing on top of giants. These ideas have been around for a long time but what I think is new is that the way in which people are choosing to use them in their life and and things that may have once been like esoteric in nature or you know for philosophers and you know like academics or you know people in um spiritual settings are things that are now becoming tools that anyone can use whether as a parent or an entrepreneur like in our day-to-day lives to to move us closer to creating what it is that we really want. And I think that's that's great. And um you know definitely in the show notes you'll be able to to find out where to go and and purchase those books. And I'm like buy them for you buy them for your friends if you know someone having a baby uh buy them for the you know parents that you know having a baby um I love the idea of giving books to new parents anyway.

I uh it's it's you know one of the things that I wrote when I in my um my my life script and that's one thing that we're taught is kind of just write out you know your goals in a script and I had written out um that my books are on like the recommended registry list. You know when you sign up to do a registry like those are the books that come up and uh I actually I reached out to an influencer who's local to me who's pregnant and I wanted to gift her one of my books to share. And she said because she she follows me as well she actually said to me I actually have your book on my Amazon registry list and I was like that's like you know because that's just it's being able to gift that and and you know it's like part of that goal is come true and it was just really it was really cool that um you know other people are noticing noticing the my books but also noticing like the the impact that they can have and it's you know it's it's like it's just it's so simple.

It's just a simple repetition over and over and over um but it's so powerful right yeah and I I really like as well Kaylee like when you were talking I was present to you know I mean we see it as a meme everywhere it probably pops up somewhere on the internet every day but you know the whole Gandhi like be the change that you want to see in the world like part of part of your story in general I think which I you know really resonates and it's like if you if you can't find what you're looking for then you know who are you going to be about that right and it's like present to the quote by George Bernard Shaw that we you know we and I love I've loved George Bernard Shaw before thinking into results um he's got a really uh amazing poem called Splendid Torch that's just kind of really been the foundation for who I choose to be in in life uh but like that idea that if you can't find the circumstances that you want then go create them but we we get to be we get to be the creators of our our life of our goals and of our experience day in and day out of achieving them I think that's um you know you are a demonstration of that which I think is great. Thank you. Yeah so is there anything there anything on this journey to becoming a an entrepreneur be you know um that has surprised you or it's kind of like oh I I didn't expect that like everything um you know it just I think like just really the the thing that surprised me the most I think is is not knowing where things were gonna come from you know like and I looking at like my parents how I was raised I was always told I could do you know anything like my parents always told me I could do anything I set my mind to but then it was like it was very structured it was like you go to school you do this you do that you know all of those things so I think like for me the journey was just like my biggest surprise was acting on new ideas and and creating new ideas like and it didn't come from where I thought it would come from and just really being open to to acting on those impulses that was the biggest surprise because the the book was an impulse like it was just an idea and I if I had that idea maybe a year before I don't know if I would have acted on it.

So I think that's like my biggest like kind of my biggest takeaways when you when you get these ideas or these downloads right like these this in these intuitive hits these hunches like you know write it down and and act on it and that's like where the magic happens and you know it's it's it doesn't have to be this like huge grand thing but it's just like this a simple idea like you know a positive affirmations children book can actually like can impact thousands of children and thousands of lives. And it was just one like small idea. So I think that's like my biggest surprise is just really like when you act on those things how like the ripple can really come out and uh and just just really being open to any idea that comes to you. And like I have a note so I have notebooks all over my house. I actually have a note notepad on my phone that is just ideas. So if I'm like driving and I get an idea I will pull over and like put my idea in my phone so I don't forget it. Some of them are aren't great but some of them are right and you can act on act on these things.

So yeah I think you're buoying to the power of intuition right really and you know the the differences that can make in in when we start to trust and follow our intuition and I love that like the intuition always comes first right like we'll have an idea you know the the example I like to use with my clients when I'm talking to them is like oh I should you know I I really I feel like I feel called to call Kaylee like I wonder what Kaylee's doing. How is she and then like that thought will come up and then all of a sudden it's like oh she's probably working she's kind of probably busy with Ethan like you know I'm not gonna I'll call her later and you know now's not a good time right and that's all of you know we talk about our paradigm you in in Bob Proctor's work our paradigm from some of the other programs that I've done or studies, you know, our default context or you know the way the world occurs for us our our map of the world all of that stuff is what comes up and then we don't take the action you know it's like oh I really want ice cream like Daniel was like Danielle's got this thing about ice cream I think but like she'll always say like oh I really want to have an ice cream like go get the ice cream you don't know who you're gonna meet who you're meant to meet and and I'm reminded in this conversation of the Celestine prophecy I don't know if you've read that book but if you haven't you'd love it it's incredible it's all kind of about spiritual awakening um that's happening it's a it's a work of fiction but um based on some really really neat principles and and this idea that everyone has a message for us like every single person we meet even if it's just like looking at someone and making eye contact with them and seeing like that that you could choose to go through life that every single person we meet has a message for us and are we are we listening are we being open and and then you know if we're getting the same messages over and over again where are we maybe not learning yeah learning that lesson right I love that and I think too that's like in in thinking and results when the lesson on leaving everyone with an impression of increase too right like it all ties down to just how you you are with other people like I you know I I think when I'm out now that we we're wearing masks like I smile bigger so my eyes are smiling you know at people and it's like those little things like holding the door for someone or helping someone with you know like those little things can make an impact and it just it ripples out right and it's like if you have an impulse to go get ice cream and then say someone you know you notice someone who's you know struggling like an older person who's struggling with their bags maybe that person is someone who knows someone who knows like you don't know how it's gonna all happen.

And that's the cool part about like just really like you know helping other people and serving other people and like not worrying about kind of where things are going to come back from you know and like every like you just said like everyone has a message and you don't know how your message is going to impact others it's it's really powerful really powerful.

Well and I love that like the other side of it right which you're pointing to that we have messages for other people. So it's like being responsible for like how am I showing up in the world? Like who am I being when I walk out my front door when I get on that phone or I get on Zoom for that meeting right am I create you know like creating a space in which people feel acknowledged and and taken care of and safe and and all of those things because you know those are my values and that's what I'm committed to and I'm you know my leading in life from that place which um I think being being congruent with our values and our beliefs not being beholden to them you know getting that so many of the values and the beliefs that we have kind of come from our past and we get to reevaluate them and like be an observer of them and ask them if they still serve us. But when we do land on things that are core to us and core to our beliefs like are we living our life in alignment with those things and um having that kind of be our north star I think is is important. It's important for me. Yeah yeah really great. So you have a favorite quote and I'd love to talk with you about your favorite quote and and the quote is becoming a mama doesn't mean losing who we were who you were it means finding parts of yourself that you never knew existed.

Yes. Yeah so talk to me about that a little why is it so you know what does that speak to you what does that mean for you so for me it it has to do with identity and it has to do with what we what we choose to identify as when we become parents um and I've just you know I've I think I've seen so many people lose their identity when they have kids and they just become you know just become mom instead of you know I am mom and I am like all of these things and you can choose who you want to be and mom is just a piece of that but it's such a powerful piece because we're able to shape and and mold the lives of our children you know so when we show them that we can be anything that it you know we don't just have to be mom like we can be I can you know build multiple businesses while being a present mom and showing my son that like to go after our dreams and like because that's my identity as someone who is like a goal getter and you know I dream big and I'm ambitious and being a mom is a part of that it just you know it's just so powerful to be able to to know that we can create our own identities but like we're creating our own identities for our children too. And I just think like it's you know not getting lost in in what parenting is you know I use air quotes supposed to be but really like creating what you want it to be and being able to become the mom that you want to become and like you know and it being a part of you and really like for me when I became a mom all of those things that I I had and all of those pieces of me with being like ambitious and dreaming big and all of those things were actually accentuated. Like they just grew so much because now I knew I got to you know show show my son that he can do anything too and it's just like my identity just grew and I found these other pieces of of myself like being able to you know serve and impact other moms that just like you know I was so called to it. So it's just like for me that quote's so powerful because it just I think it just shows moms that like they can still be anything that they want to be. It's you know it's like I'm actually I'm brainstorming right now. It's so far it's just uh one of the jots on my paper but doing a a a virtual retreat called not just a mom and being able to help moms you know find these these pieces of themselves that they may have lost and and how they can you know hone in on those those those um do you know desires that they maybe pushed aside when they had kids and just knowing that like it's okay to still have your dreams and your goals and be a mom. Like you can do it all.

It doesn't have to be this or that it's such an interesting and we could you know we could probably have a whole other conversation about this. But it's such it's so interesting to me um like this is not a conversation that I find men have. Because for whatever reason and we're we're just not going to go there right now because there's not time to and it's not really the intention of this show or this conversation right now. And I'd be happy to have that conversation in some other forum and maybe it it's appropriate to have it, you know, but like becoming a parent has not ever really up in the past anyway I think maybe that's shifting in some ways but formed the foundational identity of what it is to be a man. And and and it has for for women for a long time like being a being able to Create life, I think, was for a long time kind of the purpose of what it was to be a woman. And that has brought up and created so many different wounds for people. It's it's shaped our identity as woman. It's like shaped business and who woman be in boardrooms and what where is the place and space for a woman? And um I have conversations with other women who feel like if they don't have that maternal instinct that there's something wrong with them or that, you know. Um, so it it's uh it's it's a very interesting conversation to me. And it's it's a little, I never really felt my kids belonged to me. That was not, you know, so I had a very different, I don't know if that shaped part of it. One, I've known from a very long time. May actually now that I think about it, I'm just kind of in this conversation with you, Kaylee. I didn't plan on having kids for for much of my life, and I had them quite young. So by much of my life is meant till I got pregnant at 16. Um, but I really wanted to be like a high-powered lawyer. I was gonna work 80 hours a week. I and I just didn't, I didn't want to have kids or were raised by a nanny. I just, you know, so I was like, okay, that's not gonna be part of my life. And then I got pregnant and uh I made choices from that place at a very young age. And and but even just intuitively, I never felt like I always felt like I was here to be their guide. And they they they not they're not mine. And I still really and and I don't other people are free to believe what they want, and and that's their journey. But I you know, I really firmly believe my children do not belong to me. I was the vessel in which they were given life, and it's their life. And and I get like at 18 months old, uh Ethan may not be deciding, you know, a lot, but I think it's important that as parents we keep we remember that, that that they're that they're living members of the community, contributing members of the community from birth, and the ways in which they contribute and connect change over time. Uh, but I really believe it's our role as parents to to set them up powerfully to be able to live their own lives with as little of our caca and baggage as possible.

And that's exactly it, right? And I think like, you know, when you, you know, as as as humans, right, like we are all unique, unique beings. And, you know, our our thing is to shine our lights, right? Like whatever our light happens to be. And I I look at being a parent as being able to shine my light for Ethan to be able to to thrive and become like, you know, his own individual self. And, you know, and exactly like you said, not hold him back with all of like, you know, my own head trash that I used to have, and you know, set him, set him up so he, you know, might not have some of those, those, um, those doubts and you know, those, those fears and and different things that, you know, have stopped me in the past um from achieving things that I had desired, right? So it's just like it's just kind of like being that, being that light for your family, being that light for, you know, for for your your children, and but then also like being that light for yourself. And I could do a whole other like conversation on the importance of self-care as a mom, right? And like the importance of all of these things. Like I like take care of, I take care of myself first, and I do not think I'm selfish. Like I, you know, I make sure that I am I am at my best because when I'm at my best, I am at my best for my family. And I notice too, when I'm when I when my cup's not full, that's when I start reacting. That's when I say the words that I, you know, choose not to say in front of Ethan. That's when those things happen, is because I haven't filled my own cup and like, you know, and and shine my own light for me so that I can be a brighter light for my family. And then, you know, in turn, he can be when he grows up, he can shine his light as bright as he wants to shine it, however, he wants to shine it.

Well, that sounds like a perfect place to end off. And I will definitely have you back on the show. And I, you know, I think there's like one, I'm just really present to how much like when we actually study something or engage with something, you know, how much you can unpack out of like just a simple quote. Uh, but you know, definitely would love to have that conversation with you, Kaylee, around, you know, self-worth, self-care, um, as human beings, but as moms, like all of those things. And so for the for the audience listening, I really hope you got a lot of value out of this conversation with Kaylee and I. And and you can locate yourself in it, regardless of whether you're a parent or not. You have parents, you were parented. You know, how did how did that parenting enable you? And and where are some of the places that maybe those, you know, that you've got some limiting beliefs as a result. And and again, really want to stress, and it even says it in my book, I don't blame parents here. I I have the utmost respect and honor for parents as one I know that it's not easy to be a parent. And uh, you know, but by looking at some of this stuff, we can we can give ourselves access to to taking the lids off in life and really creating what we want. So, Kaylee, such a pleasure to talk to you this morning. For those listening, you'll be able to connect with Kaylee and find out where to buy her books and the notes for the show. And uh just have a wonderful, wonderful day, everyone. And and Kaylee, again, thank you.

Thank you for having me. I am so grateful to be here.

Thank you so much for joining us for this week's episode. For show info, visit whatwoodamberdo.com. And for information about Amber Howard and Associates' offerings and services, visit amberhowdenc.com.