SPEAKER_01 0:10

To have your small business and whole life drive. We bring you incredible guests who share their real life experiences of being an entrepreneur so you can have your whole life work. Now, here's your host, Amber Howard.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

Good morning, everyone. Welcome back to What Would Amber Do? It is really my honor this morning to be speaking with Luis Escobar Endino, who is a serial entrepreneur and humanitarian whose guiding philosophy is to provide extraordinary customer experiences to really everyone in his life. Luis has been the CEO and founder of Rabbit Recruitment for nearly the past 10 years and has most recently co-founded Lingo Learning Corporation, which provides English as a second language training and development to its corporate and manufacturing clients. And Luis, you know, Luis and I have been friends for years. He's someone who has made a profound difference in my life. And Luis, I'm just like really, it's such a privilege to be speaking with you this morning. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Yeah, so good. So we always start with like, how did you get to be where you are today? Like what was what's been the journey? And I know, you know, I know for you it's quite a journey. And so start wherever it is that you want to, but like what brought you to this, to being an entrepreneur, to to where you are in life? What was that journey like for you?

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Um, you know, sometimes I I sit down, I think about it, and when I get the opportunity to actually reflect on on where I was and then where I am now, it's um it seems a little bit unimaginable. Um, seems impossible. Um, I guess just I want to start from, you know, when I was um somewhere near my my in my teenage years, um, because it's such a contrast. The the future that I was living into is was was not predictable. And I feel like where I am right now, you know, I'm playing with uh the house's money because I didn't see myself living past, I couldn't see my life past uh 25. Certainly not 30. I'm like 30. What the hell am I gonna be doing at 30? Like, no way, like I'll be dead or in jail for sure, the way that I'm going. And so basically, you know, I I was um when I was a young man, you know, I had a troubled uh I guess I was like getting into teenage um angst and teenage things. And I grew up in a not the worst area, but a rough area in Toronto on the West End, near Keelan Eglinton, Keelan Rogers. And if you wanted to find trouble, you can most certainly do, and I did, right? And uh, you know, it it started off as and then started off as like you know, fun and hanging around with friends, but I was always looking to kind of you know um uh push myself in inside inside of that direction, you know. Um uh you know, my my my father had left me when I was like left the family when I was around eight, and I had a stepfather who taught me a lot about being a man from my preteens, but then ended up leaving for whatever reason, you know, relationships happen, and I held on to a lot of uh resentment and anger, you know, the you know, life wasn't fair, you know. I I especially when you lose half of the income of the house, you know, it it affects you just like you know things that you could do, you can no longer do. And I felt it really felt powerless inside of that. And life was really unfair. And you know, what's the point? You know, I came from a Catholic up upbringing and was a firm believer of justice and morality, but inside of reality, none of that was none of that was applicable, you know. Even my my my me questioning, you know, God like at that point was this like, you know, this is all fairy tales and none of it's real. And so I developed a lot of like, you know, um anger and and angst and that coupled with you know growing up in that environment, didn't uh didn't um didn't lead lead to great decisions, right? So I got it I got involved and mixed with you know gang culture and criminality and things like that. Um you know, getting kicked out of school, being expelled for fighting, uh, you know, fights, knives and guns and drugs. And it seemed very glamorous at the time because you know, everyone's watched those gangster movies, right? And had those fantasies of oh, like, oh, it must be amazing, you know, kind of like being all dapper and having the respect and you know, uh having that fear and kind of doing what it is that you want. And it's very glamorized, right? But uh those are you know, a lot of those are movies and they really don't show the um the sadness behind it, the the anger, the um the loneliness of it as well, because you know, inside of that type of lifestyle, it's uh it's ruthless, right? You can't really have trust for other people. And you're always looking for the shooter drop, you're always looking to get arrested, go to jail, and then um, or you know, summing someone coming back for for for revenge. And um as I went past through my teenage years, I you know, I still had a you know jobs, but uh I was really like my focus was in criminality, right? You know, whether it was uh um fraud or uh violence or whatever, drugs, it didn't matter. Um and so, you know, as I was moving up in you know the ranks and meeting new people and things got riskier and I liked it. I had it was such a rush, you know, like some people are like skydiving, some people like going down a ski slope, and but there was a certain rush about it, uh you know, things that you were doing that were illegal because it was like you were you were always at risk, you were always on the line. But um I uh remember one time I was I was in the Middle East, Dubai, doing criminalities as well. And um here I am, you know, like I don't even know how many kilometers away, 18, I don't know, 12,000 kilometers away from from my home. And I'm in this foreign country, you know, with this person that, you know, who's uh who's a friend or an ally, but is he really? I remember being on the internet, I was in my 20s at that time, and I had found out that one of my friends from high school, you know, who was a really good guy, he wasn't as um, you know, he wasn't as determined as being a gangster or a criminal as I was. But um for whatever, you know, whatever, I lost touch with him, and but he had uh did a drug deal and got and was shot and killed. And I was really shocked, you know, I was like, what? I I couldn't believe it. And uh here I am, you know, 12,000 kilometers away, you know, kind of living that type of, you know, gangster criminal lifestyle, you know, with with all the fake glamour to it. And I'm like, wow, you know, that's that's definitely an outcome, and it's so real now. That was I wouldn't say it was one big thing that had me shift, but that was one of the key things that had me shift.

SPEAKER_00 9:01

I'm you know, I am I want to hear about kind of the uh the other side of the shift, but I'm present to a couple of things in your sharing, Luis. Like one, there's this great quote by Soren Kierkegaard where he says life can only be understood looking backwards, but it must be lived moving forward. And like when you say like it's like remarkable or the contrast between where you thought you would be back then and where you are now, it's like uh to me the the miracles of our life show up in the rearview mirror sometimes when we look back and and we couldn't have predicted the path to get where we are today. And you know, so that was one thing that you that like really came up for me. And the other thing is like, you know, my bit my my big commitment is that people really get profound love, connection, and belonging. And I and I know that having lived that myself, my relationship with my father wasn't great. And I, you know, I made decisions in relationships with men as a result of that. I think kind of when those relationships aren't strong shows up in lots of different ways in our life. But like participating in gang culture, being part of a gang, like that is a type of family, a type of connection. And and so sometimes um like that need, that drive that we have as human beings to connect, to belong somewhere. Um, I think it needs to get fulfilled. And sometimes it's gonna get fulfilled through drugs, sometimes it's gonna get fulfilled through ways that maybe not as healthy for us or you know, really aligned to our values. And that I think it's important to know that about us as human beings, that like that drive to connect is so fundamental to what it is to be a human being. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:45

And I think for me, um at that time, because when my stepfather had left, I was uh preteen, and so there was a uh a space, right? Like a real like a gap of okay, I'm growing into my my man manhood, becoming a man or you know, becoming male, whatever that means in the world. What does that mean? What does it look like? You know, how do I shave? It's an embarrassing question, right? Especially as a teenager, like who do you ask to to shave? Who do you, you know, where do you where do you turn to? So I think I developed a um hyper character of masculinity in that culture because it's all it's it's a it's a character of masculinity, right? Uber tough and don't smile and you know, like you know, being violent and being tough and don't talk to me, and you know, all that jazz is a is a character of like the ultimate man, like you know, like macho man, right? And what that did was is really you know that really just covers the the insecurity that you have about your your own masculinity because you there's so many questions. And you know, we're you know inside of that as well, you're not taught to ask for help, it's it's looked down upon. So it's it's like a it's it's a loop that always happens, and so you know, now that I'm reflecting on it, I I I can I can kind of see that which connects to you know finding family as well and asking those questions when you were at at that young age.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

I can imagine like that that moment when you got the news about your friend, like you know, the we have those defining moments in life, right? Where we're we're forced to kind of look at our life and and I'm really sorry that you know for the loss of your friend. And it's like, who are we gonna be in the face of those moments, right? Like, are we gonna continue walking down a path that might seem inevitable, or are we gonna are we gonna take a step in a different direction? And and I know for myself, I've had a number of those moments in my life where it's like, you know, I know like if I keep taking this course of action, I know where this is gonna go. And I don't know like if I do something different, I don't know what's gonna happen. And um I was in a training yesterday, and and the trainer said, you know, magic shows up in our lives when we take actions and we don't know where we're going. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

Yeah. Um for for for my for for me, what what was the shift, you know, to where I am now, you know, I'm talking about really, you know, at that point in my life was pretty dire, but it was it wasn't just one moment, it was it was like because sometimes for me it wasn't just like a uh 180 shift, because it just was such an impossibility for me to make it just a shift. Like, what am I supposed to do? I dropped out of high school. Uh I have no skills per se. I have undiagnosed attention deficit disorder, so I can't really focus on books. Like, how am I supposed to live? I tried construction, I'm not really great at construction. I I really just this is not me. I can't do it. So, what am I supposed to do to live? I'm like, yeah, sure, that life would suck, but what what are what am I supposed to do? So it was a for it was for me, it was like a cumulative um um it was a cumulative uh instances in my life that had me say, okay, this I I can't keep going down like this. Um, so I I didn't stop right there right away because I had no other options. I didn't know what else to do. What was I supposed to do? I've developed all these skills, like right, you know, like imagine you've uh you know studied your whole life to do something. Well, not your whole life, but you like you have all these skills that you've acquired, you're really good at it, but you're like, oh, this is not gonna end very well. But how do I how do I what else do I do?

SPEAKER_00 15:24

You can't really put you can't really put that skills and experience on a resume, right?

SPEAKER_02 15:29

Right. You can't, I can't dishandled money. I I can't uh you know, write that on a transcript to apply for university or to go to school. You know, it's so for me it was uh it was uh it was uh it was I didn't know what to do. But now where I am now, I I I can see those skills that I've acquired. I I can I'm sharp. I'm very sharp. And I'm very aware of you know people's uh their their wants. I'm also aware of you know that people everyone inside them has uh you know a good side and a bad side, right? So, you know, like if if they're not in touch to it, then you know, I I can kind of gauge what it is that they're looking for, you know, and and like I can use that now in business a lot. Um and just and also being aware of what's not being said and what is being said with people, what is it, what are they really communicating? Um and you know, like um hustling is hustling in a certain degree, right? Hustling is hustling, there's no shortcut to it. If you're you know selling, I don't know, pencils or thousands or million dollar deals, it's you're dealing with people. Find out what it is that they want. And so, yeah, I've uh I've kind of been able to take a lot of those skill sets, which sets me up apart from all my other uh business uh business people.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

It's so good to you know, to register all of the accomplishments of our life, right? Not and and I think it's important, the shadow and the light. We need them both. We need all of it, right? It's not um it's not that one's better than the other. You know, we need we need all of it in order to live a full human life. And um, I know that experiences that you might have had may not have been like ideal or what you would have wanted or what you would have imagined as a young boy. It's like when we think about our life, it's like, oh, yeah, everyone really sees themselves ending up there. And yet at the same time, like the there's this great book, Evolutionary Love Relationships, where they talk about the importance of celebrating the defeats because it's all part of the creative process, right? You needed all of that to get you to be the man that you are today. Like that, all of it was required.

SPEAKER_02 18:17

You know, for for me, I always thought of it as such a strange phenomenon that people are always trying to avoid, you know, the other side of the coin. We're always looking to be happy 24-7. We're always trying to like avoid feeling bad or bad things, or don't talk about the situations that were not great. You know, we always like it's it's such a strange phenomena because it's it's it's all part of being a human being, you know. It's like I only want to be alive during the daytime, I only like the sunshine, and I want to avoid nighttime. But it's this is part of it, and there's parts for you to get. And I also think that that's uh even for entrepreneurs, they avoid that too. They want to uh, you know, um only talk about their successes and and not live inside of and get from the failures, or they only want to take actions when they're feeling good rather than taking actions irregardless of whatever your emotional state is or whatever your business state is. So I I always I I I love the the balance of both because you know, um the only thing that's gonna produce the results are action.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

Yeah. Someone uh someone I one once said, you know, you only reap the rewards of the projects that you complete. Right? Like you can start as many things as you want. And it's also like, you know, one of the things that I'm discovering on my entrepreneurial journey, like this is life. Whatever that looks like, your business, however you run it, what you know, there, and the the book I'm working on, like that I'm writing on like creating measures for success and happiness based on our own, like what we want, not like this notion of success that lives out there. Like one of the things I got about myself recently is I like to have a lot of different things on the go. And yeah, I get that maybe I'm not moving things as forward as fast as I could if I focused all of my energy on one thing. And this is my life. And so if I want to focus on a whole bunch of things and move the needle on them a little slower, then that's okay. I get to make that choice in my own business, and there's no right or wrong way to do it. And, you know, you'll get different results based on how you do things. And so it's just a matter of like there's a new freedom for me to like again just keep expanding this idea of there's no way it has to look, and I'm the creator of it all. And what do I want my experience as a you know, anywhere in my life to be? And I think that's really powerful. It's a really powerful place to be. Um so I know that because we met through personal development. Yeah. So I didn't know this about you, that personal development is very important to you. You are someone who you know continually takes yourself on in various different ways. And so talk to me a little bit, like talk to us a little bit about how how did that journey of personal development start for you and and why is it so important for you to continually be expanding yourself inside of this?

SPEAKER_02 21:33

Great. So I'm just thinking about it right now because I actually put I can put myself in the space of when I first got into it, right? And I was so I'm I'm very pragmatic, right? And so when I first started hearing about personal development when I was transitioning, you know, trying to I got into a network marketing business, and then I learned all about personal development and you know, rich dad, poor dad, and um thinking growth. Rich and you know, trading and development courses. And I'm like, I'm not into this uh we are the world kumbaya type of, I don't know if I can swear, but BS, you know, like I get out of here with this, like, I am just not that, right? And I've never have been. But um, you know, I remember I had a mentor and uh his name is Leor. And um, you know, he was like really, and I I saw that he had a, you know, um, he really achieved a lot of great things. And I was like, okay, well, you know what? I really don't kind of get it, but I'll, you know, I'll start reading these books and I'll start taking these programs. Um, even though I didn't see it even happening, but you know, over time, um, being persistent and consistent with reading those books, taking training and development programs, and seeing even incremental success, right? Sometimes we're just so impatient. You know what I mean? Uh like one of the analogies I love is that even if you wanted to create having a family, you would still, you know, after the action, you would still need to wait nine months before you produce an infant. So we're like a lot of the times when you're in it, there's this such there's so impatience with your creation. Another action I used to do, I used to create my life, and I would write down like 10 things just every day, every morning. You know, I can still remember them. And some of them are silly and vain, and you know, but it's what I wanted. And I I can still remember. And I used to say, I am good looking, charming, physique, muscular, intelligent, respected, sexy, and lusted after, abundance, close me and natural waysful. You know, like I would just write it all down. You know, I have a million-dollar business, I have an ex-car, uh, this type of Lamborghini in a car. Uh, my business is flourishing, I am happy, my family is happy. I would write about my brother, write about my sister, write about my mother. And I would just write it every day. And every day was different, right? If some days we wake up super happy and great, and some days we don't, but I would just always create my life every day, every day. And then, you know, even after a while, I'd be like, oh, what the hell's the point of this? This is never coming to fruition, none of it, you know, but now I I can look back and and see that a lot of the things in which I have created have come to fruition, and I'm put aback by it. I'm like, wow, you know, but if I would have just if I would have given up and said, ah, this doesn't work, this is bullshit, someone lied to me, a person's development, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. You know, um, I would have put my foot off the gas and I would have not been where I am today, where I'm essentially running two companies and really happy about it, you know. And I I started a startup company during the middle of a pandemic. During a, you know, at the same time I I broke up with a relationship with someone that I was living with for six years. All that happened in the right right during the pandemic, like a day before lockdown on in March. And it was just like I was just devastated. But I was taking actions consistent to what it is that I'm creating in my life, and I was committed to the creation of my life and not what I was feeling at that moment. Because emotions, like you know, emotions pass, they're like the sky, like the clouds, they just come in waves, don't resist it. But keep taking actions that are consistent with what it is that you want, don't give up on it, keep going.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

Vision from Mind Valley talks about this idea of beautiful destruction, that as we're moving forward in our life, that the universe, God, whatever is sourceful for you, you know, inside of your beliefs, has a way of kind of like he says gently removing. I call BS on that. Sometimes it's not so gentle, like doesn't feel gentle in the moment, but of like removing the things that don't serve us inside of like, you know, what it is that we really want to create. And I I agree with that, writing out what you want, like getting clear. So many, you know, I have discovery calls with my students at the university at the beginning of each class, and and they'll be like, well, this is what I kind of want. I want to transition to being a business analyst, like, you know, like whatever. I don't know what to do. And I'm like, write it out clearly. Like, don't just say I want to be a business analyst. Like, what kind of company do you want to work in? What domain of knowledge do you want to be more technical or more people focused? Like, get really clear. And I think sometimes as human beings, inside of our skepticism and inside of our, you know, we don't like it, doesn't all like whatever those fears are about like saying we want something and not knowing how it's gonna happen or not, you know, because we're never gonna outperform our beliefs. So we don't, we don't say clearly what it is that we want. Oh, I want more money. Okay, great. You found 10 cents on the street, you got more money. Like it did you want 10 cents or did you want 10 million? Say what it is that you want and then be willing, right? This is the whole like law of traction, law of creation. Like, say what you want, believe it's already yours, and then be willing to receive it. And I think that last bit is like really the kicker for a lot of people. And I know it was for me in my journey because that's the whole piece around worthiness. You know, like that willingness to believe that you're worthy of receiving all of the things that you want and doing that work. And it's sometimes it's very deep work. And I don't think we ever have anything handled about it. Um, where I'm reading with a friend Maxwell Maltz's um psychocybernetics, right? And this idea that there's this image that we hold of ourselves in our subconscious mind that is like a thermostat creating our results and the in the life that we have, right? So, like doing the work that you did over time, it takes time to reprogram the subconscious mind and build new neural pathways. And it's possible, but it takes repetition, auto-suggestion, time to be able to really to shift your subconscious mind so that you have new habits that cause the results you want in life that are then automated because you know, we know that we're in our subconscious mind 94 to 90 percent of the time, 96% of the time, right? So I really and I love what you said, Luis Miguel, about like um the difference, but like persistency and consistency. So, you know, I think like I know myself to be persistent in life. Like I get up every time, I've been knocked down a bunch of times, I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna keep going. You know, I'll get back on the horse. But there's a difference between being persistent, which I think is important to success and happiness and having what we want, but also this idea of like consistency, because I think it's a consistency that builds the habits that makes it easier. So, like the persistence is like, yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna grind it out, I'm gonna get it done, you know, uh, but they can developing those, and this is an area of growth for me in my own life in certain areas, and other areas I I am very consistent, and it's that noticing, well, where am I consistent and where am I not? What's that about? Not like it's right or wrong, but what's that about and being in the inquiry of why do I not show up consistently in this area of my life? What's operating in the background, hidden from my view, that would have me declare this is important to me, and yet not take actions consistently that I know that are gonna get me there.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

Yeah, I I I the consistency aspect has I've always been uh some people have always called me stubborn. I I can't you know never.

SPEAKER_00 30:12

I can't imagine anyone ever calling you stubborn.

SPEAKER_02 30:16

So I can be a little stubborn, which you know is I I I could concede, you know, I can concede sometimes, and it sometimes takes me a moment, but I've always been stubborn for my own success. No matter how many people had told me, you know, it's not possible, or maybe they didn't even tell me it's not possible, but they kind of implied it, or just dealing with my own failures over and over again, you know, watching years go by and not producing results, you know, from my teenage years, from my you know, my young, my, my, my 20s. But I was just like, nah, gonna keep going, gonna keep doing it. Gonna be just, I'm gonna keep doing be persistent, gonna be consistent, taking these actions, trusting the actions will produce results. And um I've uh I've I've that's where I've noticed a lot of the success. And um, it's it's it was interesting that you were talking about some of those things about um what we do inside of our in Lingo Learn and our ESL training and development program um with our students, a lot of them are already great English speakers, they speak very well and they're able to survive and they're brilliant, right? But I I always ask them, it's a it's a 15-week course, and I always ask them, you know, where do you like what would make this 15 weeks worth it for you? And specifically, you know, sometimes they'll say, Well, I would like to improve my pronunciation, or I would like to um, you know, speak more clearly or have a higher vocabulary. But I'm like, I'm like, but yeah, but how would you know you you achieved your goal? What would you see in the world? Like in 15 weeks, how would you know what would be what would be happening in your life, your interactions with your your your team or your boss that would have you know that these 15 weeks were worth it for you? And write them down. And and I'm gonna keep them and we're gonna work, we're gonna work towards that. And then then my second question after that is, you know, and regarding you know, with my business and English as a second language, you know, what's your ultimate goal? And I always say that, you know, uh um, even myself, I'm a native speaker of English, but I wish I could speak like, you know, uh Noam Chomsky or, you know, another academic and have that type of high vocabulary. So even myself, there's always targets to achieve. And I asked them, imagine if you could speak English as well as you speak your native language, what would be possible in your life? What would you be doing that you're not doing? And you would just see their like eye to eyes is wow, like whoa, I never even considered the fact that if I could speak English as my native language, what would I be doing? And they start writing down. And inside of you know, creating those goals and targets, their participation in the program is so intentional. And the reason why I'm sharing that is that imagine if you did that with other projects in your life. You know, if you wave the magic wand, um what would have your business be worth it? What would have your relationships be worth it? What would have to have your projects and I don't know, maybe your health or your something that you've been avoiding? How would you know you've been successful? And creating that context in my life and in business has um has reaped rewards and it's it's really great. And and it makes it fun for for me as well, because they're really sharing themselves. And I I feel like we're both at risk. We're both like, yeah, we gotta get this done, rather than just going through the motions of it.

SPEAKER_00 34:42

I think what you know, what I'm hearing and what you're saying, and I think it it just illustrates the importance of being able to connect what it is that we do to like what we say we're here for, what matters to us, our commitments, our purpose, whatever you want to call it. But it's like once you get the clarity around that, you know, like then you can use that as like a like, is it aligned or not? Right? Do I want to take this project on? Does this job align with my core values, with who I say I am, what matters to me, why I'm, you know, that becomes the reason you get out of bed in the morning. And and then, you know, the emotions will be what the emotions are. And as someone who kind of dissociated my emotions for a long time in order to be able to deal with, you know, the the circumstances of my life and keep going, um, I am learning to listen more to my emotions and not have them be a justification for like letting me out of being my word or anything like that, but using them as a guide to feel to know whether something's actually aligned with my heart or not. And that's a new space for me to be in because for so much of my life, I was just like, emotions be damned. It doesn't matter how you feel, just keep going to the point of even like harming myself, you know, like working 16, 18 hours a day, you know, not taking care of my well-being, not eating properly, like just there were things that had to get done and I would get them done. And I would, you know, and avoiding a lot of the the hard emotions, the anger, the pain, the trauma. Um, so I think it's a it's interesting to be able to be with all of it, like getting that no, your emotions don't have to be what stops you from, you know, fear is going to be there. You can act in spite of fear. You know, you can take the action and be afraid. And at the same time, like this dance of like, okay, what is that fear telling me? What is that, you know, the fear's coming up? Like, what is that telling me? I there's this great quote, like this conversation or frame around procrastination that, like, in fact, procrastination, like we have a real negative connotation around procrastination, like it's something that shouldn't be. But what if procrastination was just telling you you're not ready for something? And then in that moment, you have a choice. You could be like, well, am I willing to create being ready? Or is there other things that I need? Like maybe there's more information I need, maybe there's different skills that I need, maybe there's a new awareness that I need. So if this thing that I say is important to me is really important, I'm gonna go find those things. I'm gonna go get the skills, I'm gonna create the awareness, I'm gonna, you know, partner, whatever it is. But you could also just ask yourself the question, as opposed to resisting the procrastination or making it wrong or having it mean something about us that we're, you know, not good enough in some way or that there's something wrong with us, it's like, what if procrastination was I'm just not ready? And then choosing from there. Okay, got it. Well, what am what is it that I'm not ready for? And am I willing to create being ready for that? I think when you can start to play in life that way, and like everything that like this is one of the things that I'm getting out of the wisdom course so powerfully, it's like noticing, huh? I keep like, what why do I keep procrastinating in this area of my life? What is that about? Right? Why do I keep having the same conversation over and over again with my kids? Why, why is this reoccurring dialogue happening? And not like, because in the past I would have like catastrophized it and made it wrong and be like, oh no, right. And now it's just more of shifting into it's almost like walking around in life in the in the permanent observer role. I mean, like, huh, that's interesting. What could I say newly about that? I was talking with someone this morning and they were sharing that they've got a whole bunch of things happening in their life, and they've been waking up in the morning with uncertainty. And I said, I got it. Well, what is it that you say about uncertainty now? And what could you say newly about uncertainty? And and she was like, Well, I could say that's like exciting and it's an adventure. And I said, Well, what difference would that make in your life if you chose to see uncertainty as exciting in an adventure versus however you see it now? And she was just like, Well, I would, I would really be enjoying this process of moving towards my forever home. You know, so it's like when you can play in life. And when you said Noam Chomsky's name, I'm just like, language is so beautiful. And I love what you and Laura have created through LingoLearn because I just love language. And, you know, that you can say someone's name and it evokes an emotional response and reminds you of like Noam Chomsky and my times reading his books and and being in his, you know, his mind, and and you know, like the incredible mind that Noam Chomsky has is, you know, I just I think it's really incredible.

SPEAKER_02 39:41

Yeah, yeah. I I really love what you have to say about always having this objective inquiry. And you know, as human beings, we're always looking for the answers. Question answer, question, answer, give me the answer, give me the answer, give me the answer. What's the problem? Give me the answer. I need the answer, I need the answer now, I need the answer now, I need the answer now, need the answer now. Business, right? Yeah, I need the answer right now, I need the answer right now. But there's such power just being inside of a question, and it's a and it it could be a challenge because we're so addicted to answers. We went through school finding answers. Seldomly was there a course where you had to live inside of a question for long periods of time. Everything needed an answer. You had question one, two, three, four, five. Give me the answer. We've been programmed from child, from children to have answers and get answers. And if you don't have the answers, oh my god, I need the answers, right? It's just an obsession, but there's such power living inside of in in query and inquiry, and just asking yourself, and and one of the things that I've keep asking myself inside of my life and being of service is how can I provide an extraordinary experience with the person that I'm with? How can I provide an extraordinary experience with my client? How can I provide an extraordinary experience with my employees? How will I know? How can I leave them with wow, you know, Luis, Amber really went above and beyond what I thought anyone would do for me. And I really felt that they were as interested in what it is that I want that I was. And I I I uh I am drawn to work with them again. I trust them, they they get me. And you start to just look, and there'll be answers, right? But you don't have to be attached to all the answers because they'll keep popping up, and that's the beautiful thing about a business is living inside of that question. You know, if you take, for example, how do I provide an extraordinary experience for my client? And you just keep coming up with answers, and you keep asking yourself, and you're and you just become in this perpetual state of providing an extraordinary business. And then you know, you you can you can ask that question inside of everything. How do I provide an extraordinary experience for the person that I'm with?

SPEAKER_00 42:43

It's it's so great because it has the focus of the attention beyond the other, right? And like, because you really have to be listening at that point. Like, what matters to this person? It's not, you know, like you may have a product, good or service and something you want to provide because that's important to you, but you're only going to be able to really have the opportunity to do that when you're listening for what the other person, what the client, what the customer really needs and wants, and making sure that you're offering whatever it is that you know you create in a way that meets their needs. And what I really love inside of what I hear in your commitment to extraordinary customer service or experience, Luis, is like when Wallace Waddles in The Science of Getting Rich, which I've shared about on the show before, is written in 1903, talks about the impression of increase and how like it is that the nature of men and women, like of living things, it doesn't just say human beings, but the nature of living things to seek increase. And you know, you could say, and some have, that the reason we set goals at all is in order to grow. We may get results as a function of the goal, but really. Which is why it's so important to have the right goals, right? Goals that cause us to have to expand outside of what we who we know ourselves to be. Because if we only set goals that we know how to accomplish, then there's no growth in that. We don't have to discover something new about ourselves, seek new tools, new experiences, new awareness. But like what I hear in when you talk about like being inside of that inquiry about the value, like how do I leave people? It's like it I hear that, like your commitment that people be left with, like whoever be around you. And I see it in your relationship with Laura. I see it in your, you know, I know it in my friendship with you. And you know, I you and I've never like done business together, but like that's just who you be in life, is that people are expanded being around you. And I think that's such a beautiful commitment that you have.

SPEAKER_02 44:51

And I want to add something because I I want to provide what might be a default or the contrast to that. And there's a question, right? You could say, like, well, Lewis, well, you know, but I I need to take care of myself. Like, I need to take care of I you don't understand. I have like profits, I have a I have a budget. You know, I have to make sure I, you know, you know, it's it's it's a little bit of like it's scary because what if I what if I lose? What if I what if I they don't renew their contract and I end up you know broke or you know bankrupt? And then the question is, is that where am the question you can ask yourself from there is where like an honest question, like where am I right now? Am I is my context, is my life about abundance, or am I living in scarcity? And if I'm being in abundance or scarcity, what am I ultimately attracting? And it's a tough question when you when you're on the inside of that, because all you really have to look are the results in which you you've produced. And if you keep taking the actions that you've already been taking and expecting a different result, everyone knows the answer, you know, the definition of insanity. So start to look and have that, you know, it's important to have an inquiry even where you are right now, and what is all that about? And you and Amber, you were talking about that even earlier, like how do I, you know, how if if I'm in this pool and then I don't know that I'm in this pool, but I want to but I know the results are not being um produced, how do I identify that I'm in this you know pool? How do I identify I'm in this context? And sometimes it it takes help. Like sometimes we as human beings, I can speak from myself, you know, sometimes at certain points in my life, like like, well, I gotta figure this all out. I gotta I gotta figure this all out, and no one can help me out. But there's there's power inside of you know looking, taking a personal professional development course or finding a coach or you know, therapy, or whatever. You know, don't don't be shy to get out and you know, bounce your ideas with someone who has a you know may have a clear mind who you trust, because that has helped me a lot. I've been in those situations where I've been stuck, and it's not like I just figured myself out, like I'm you know, the quantum mind of you know, self-analysis.

SPEAKER_00 47:45

There may have been calls. I remember some of them. Right.

SPEAKER_02 47:49

I I am the product. This is this is me where I'm standing. I am the product of thousands of interactions with people and hundreds, if not thousands, of coaching, and sometimes dozens of times on the same subject. You know, sometimes we look at other people and they're like, oh man, that's amazing. They figured it out, and that person figured it out by themselves. And what the hell's wrong with me? Why can't I figure it out? What you don't see are the thousands of interactions of coaching and talking or therapy or development courses that they've they've they've had. You know, no man is an island, as they say.

SPEAKER_00 48:30

So, you know, one like to go back for just a quick second, and then I want to say something about that as well. But like that idea about abundance versus scarcity, one of the other things that Waddles talks about in the book is um creativity versus competition. And that like what the difference. And again, it's it's noticing. No, I mean, Waddles clearly says in the book that creativity is better than competition, but like what if it's not? But it's like competition just creates one set of results and outcomes, and working in a spirit in a space of creativity creates a different. And so then you get to choose and decide, well, what's the what do I like? Right. And and to me, this idea of competition is really coming from scarcity. It's like there's not enough for all of us. So I've got to compete with other people versus like, no, I'm gonna show up in this space of creativity and partnership and like what could we create? And I think as entrepreneurs, especially at the beginning of our journey, it is a very isolated, alone experience, right? So the more we can, you know, connect with other people, share our experiences, be willing to be vulnerable and show up and just, you know, the the the reality of it, because it does take something to get a business off the ground. You do have to deal with yourself over and over again, right? You've got no one saying, okay, be here then and do this now. And you've got to like generate that for yourself, or then find support structures to help you generate it. And um, and I'm present in this conversation to, you know, one of my earlier guests on the show, a gentleman from Texas by the name of Grant Hill, talked about death cycles and that like we go through these cycles of where we die into an old way of being. And it it can, you know, and our all of our old patterns, all of our old stuff comes up as we're kind of dying into one self and becoming an another self. And so the more we can notice that and then put supports in place so that we can move through those cycles. And, you know, he specifically talked about as entrepreneurs, we have a lot of death cycles as we keep growing and evolving in our businesses, right? And in our lives. So um, and it just I'll never forget the conversation that I had with you many years ago when I was uh, you know, talking back to that when we were talking earlier about creating your life and you know, kind of this declaring who you want to be in the future. When I was deciding whether I wanted to coach my first introduction leaders program for landmark, and I was torn because my kids didn't want me to, and I wanted to, and you know, I wasn't sure whether it was the right thing to do or not. And you just asked me the, you know, you asked me a couple of really great questions. It's like, well, why do you want to do this? Why is why do you why do you want to do it? And you know, I shared that it was like inside of my commitment to become a landmark forum leader at the time, and you said, Well, what would she do? You know, and then it was so clear, right? So it's like once you have that, like your that clarity around where you're going and what it is that matters to you, then take actions from that place. Like it's like, who do I need to be now? I think that's yeah, really powerful.

SPEAKER_02 51:37

I I that was brilliant. I I can't believe I said that. That was pretty good.

SPEAKER_00 51:42

You are brilliant, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:44

No, I'm just joking. I'm I'm but um I I just I I wanted to go back into that uh competitive thing which you were talking about. And I'm very competitive sometimes, but I I try, I'm not saying like I'm perfect at it, but when when it comes up, I like to use my competitiveness and not have my competitive use me. Because if my competitive competitiveness is using me, then I'm like at odds with everyone, and you know, like I'm trying to compete with them and you know with with Laura and with other people, and and it and it just becomes an it's just an overwhelming empty feeling because there's always someone to compete with, and you're just never at rest or satisfaction by definition. Like if you're being competitive, that means there's something's missing within you that you have to compete. Yeah, but sometimes I'll I'll use it, you know, like I'll be like, you know, I don't feel like working out today, or I don't feel like doing this, or and then I'm I'll I'll allow that competitiveness aspect. I'm like, oh, but this person over here, I can see my friend, and he's he's done uh he's done a hundred uh jump squats, and oh man, like I'll I'll use it, I'll kind of trick myself into getting in a competitive mode to do something that I don't want to do.

SPEAKER_00 53:09

So good, right? It's like why have like that to me is why have people around me who are gaps for me.

SPEAKER_03 53:15

Right.

SPEAKER_00 53:16

Because then it's like, you know, it's like that pulls me forward, right? Not like it's you know, trying to be like someone else, but if there, if you look out and you see that there are aspects of how people live their lives or who they be, or things that you know, it's like, oh, I would like, I would like to have that experience, I would like to have that, then it like it's something I think it can be used to as motivation and inspiration. And I think that that's what I'm really hearing and what you're sharing.

SPEAKER_02 53:41

Yeah, and what I mean by yeah, and it's it's about using that part of yourself and not having it use you. Another part of myself that you know sometimes I do get ashamed of is my my anger and my rage. I get so angry sometimes, right? And then I get shameful about it because it's produced in my in my past such bad memories, right? But at times I can, you know, not be used by it and choose not to react and give myself a minute and say, okay, whatever, I just got angry and just let it go and you know, give myself some time, or I can use that to you know produce a result, or I can use it to do something that perhaps I wasn't gonna do, you know, uh, because in maybe I'll be very careful when I say this, but uh anger definitely gives you focus.

SPEAKER_00 54:40

Well, it's it's so great, right? Back to that, you need all of it, right? Like what if, in order to live a really fulfilled life, uh you know, you need all of it. And and and if you could just be in life, like what is the anger telling me? Yeah, what what's the message the why, what, yeah, and that noticing, why it, why am I getting angry right now? I remember like at a there was something with one of my kids this week, and I got real triggered by it. And I was like, huh, what's that all about? And I was like action in the moment, and then it was like, stop. And and and that it's so important to register the accomplishment of the growth. We don't do that enough. We don't celebrate the growth and like actually like be with and take time. You know, we celebrate milestones, birthdays, anniversaries, but like wow, like in the past, that same circumstance would have had me pissed all day.

SPEAKER_03 55:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:39

And making myself wrong and making it mean things about me, and then like being in my head and having multiple conversations with myself about it, and then when I went to bed at night, lying in bed, ruminating about it. And now it's like 30 seconds because of the development, because of the tools, because I've invested in myself, I'm now able to go, oh, okay, got it. Yeah, that still bothers me when that happens. Move on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:05

You know, and sometimes like if if something like that were to happen, you know, in the in the past, like, yeah, like the accomplishment that in the past, I would have reacted in in a certain way. But now I can like I'll hold it, I'll bring it. I'm like, okay. And then, like, let's say, you know, at the end of the day, I had a long day. It's seven o'clock, I've been working from you know, eight to five. I have to work out. I said I would work out, and I'll just think about that that jerk, that jerk who said something to me, or you did that the person who did this and was very rude to me. I'm like, I'll get that feeling, and then I'll put that incorporated to my workout. It gives me a little bit of a jolt.

SPEAKER_00 56:47

It's energy, right? It's very powerful energy. So, you know, I think that you're transmuting that anger into something that's positive. I think that's great.

SPEAKER_02 56:55

People would do it with music, right? When they exercise, they they put on music that pumps them up, right? Because it releases a specific body feeling that pumps them up. And this is an another, you know, strategy and way to use your emotions to uh for your own benefit and rather rather than have them use use you.

SPEAKER_00 57:18

Well, I could probably talk to you for the rest of the day and just thank you so much, Luis, for being on the show, for sharing yourself and being so vulnerable. Like, you know, I'm sure it's not always easy to share, you know, the journey from where you were to where you are now. And just thank you. I think it's such a contribution to people to get that like we're never stuck with any of it, right? Like at any moment with the right people, the right influences. And when we're ready, they show up. And that's just kind of part of how it works. So just thank you so much. And I'm sure I'll have you on the show again in the future. I look forward to continuing to watch um with pride and and love and celebration, all of the things that you're accomplishing in the world and and the huge contribution you are to so many people.

SPEAKER_02 58:02

Thank you for um having me, Amber. I was bringing my raw authenticity, and some of these things were oh, Lewis, don't say that. That's probably a bad idea. Don't share too much. I'm like, no, I'm gonna share all of it. Raw authenticity. You get what you get. This is me. And uh I wanted to bring that to you and your platform and really thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak with you and be with you and and to share. You're an amazing woman and you're doing an amazing thing. And it really is an honor to be with you right now.

SPEAKER_00 58:40

I love it. You never know who needs to hear what you have to say, right? So, this is just for everyone out there, and you know, it takes courage sometimes, but um just really acknowledge you for that and love you so much. And for everyone listening to the show, you'll be able to find out everything that Luis is up to in the show notes. So check him out. Um, and uh just thank you for being with us this morning. Have a great week.

SPEAKER_02 59:02

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 59:03

Thank you so much for joining us for this week's episode. For show info, visit whatwoodamberdo.com. And for information about Amber Howard and Associates' offerings and services, visit amberhowdenc.com.