SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to What What Ember Doop with your host, Amber Howard. Your weekly post of guidance, inspiration, and strategies to have your small business and whole life thrive. We bring you incredible guests who share their real life experiences of being an entrepreneur so you can have your whole life work. Now, here's your host, Amber Howard.

SPEAKER_03 0:26

Good morning, everyone, and welcome back to What Would Amber Do. It is my honor this morning to be speaking with Christine Verandia. Christine has over 15 years experience in the advertising, marketing, and promotions industries across North America. Christine is in the process of embarking on her journey to become an entrepreneur inside of her commitment to cause a transformation in forgiveness globally. Christine's purpose is to share what's possible when we truly live a life of forgiveness and the miracles that can come from that. And beyond everything that I just said, Christine is like my soul sister. We fell in love with each other, literally on the tarmac on a gatehold at LaGuardia Airport on a trip to New York City. And uh it just um I adore you and I'm so grateful to have you on the show, Christine.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

Oh, I adore you as well, Amber. And thank you for that memory because you remind me often. And it was such a magical time uh in our lives, you know, just experience that in New York. And um, yeah, I I am so honored to be here. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:39

Yeah, I didn't even care that I was stuck on a plane for like two hours. It was more than two hours. I don't even remember how long it was. I just remember that you know, this is how I get sometimes like I'm in this leadership training program for those listening. Christine's like the head coach, she's one of the most important people in the program. I had no clue who she was. It's like my my head was down. I was being driven, just like causing whatever there was to cause. And you know, Amber's never a problem for anyone, so I didn't need other than my coach this year. And um, in this WhatsApp group, and someone's like, Oh, I'm like reporting that I'm like gonna be late to my hotel and I'm on like on a gate hold, and then someone's like, Oh, like head coach Christine's on that plane, and I'm like, Christine, who? And so I messaged you and we just start talking and sharing on a stupid ab. And uh I just remember falling in love with you, and I, you know, and then when we got off the plane and I got to see you in the terminal building and hug you, it's just like oh, such a kindred spirit. Yeah, such a beautiful, beautiful memory. It brings me so much joy.

SPEAKER_02 2:48

I know. Oh, magical. Like I tell you, I uh I can't wait to get back to New York.

SPEAKER_03 2:55

I know it's been a long time. I can't believe we were there like every couple of months for years, and now it's like it feels like it's been forever since we've been there. Yeah, as much as I love to hate LaGuard LaGuardia, some of my favorite people I've gotten connected with in that in that airport. So really great. Well, thank you for being on the show and just coming to share with us. I'm excited to have you on the show because oftentimes I'm interviewing people who are well into their journey as an entrepreneur or a business owner. And I think it's like gonna be really a contribution to people who listen to the show who maybe like like yourself, like kind of at the beginning, or people who haven't even decided to be an entrepreneur yet, to kind of walk our way through and talk a little bit about this morning some of those spaces that you go through and what comes up for people when they, you know, when they're like, okay, I'm I'm gonna do this or I want to do this, but I have these questions or these concerns. And um I love you, I love our weekly calls kind of as we walk through and just like share and connect and then also like walk through where you're at in the process. So I'm I'm looking forward to that. Before we get kind of get into that, talk to me a little bit about like how did you end up in marketing and advertising? And then, you know, what what's that? Because I know you're still working in those industries right now as you kind of look at transitioning to being an entrepreneur. So, what had you end up in in the field that you're in today?

SPEAKER_02 4:19

Yeah, I don't know if I've ever shared this story with you actually of how I got into advertising uh specifically. Um, so I went to Ryerson. Um, I did my undergrad in Ryerson in um arts and contemporary studies and minored in marketing. I didn't realize I would end up in marketing, but um, my last year of uh being at school at Rareson, they did a call out. So CTV News did a call out to look for a graduate uh who was gonna go into the workforce. They wanted to do a feature on that graduate. So they wanted to actually interview the graduate, have the graduate go into a workplace, interview them live, critique the interview, and um and then they would uh feature that person. And uh I applied. I don't know what made me apply, but I applied and I got it. And um the place that I was actually interviewed at was an agency, an ad agency called Lo Roche, downtown Toronto. And um I killed it. Like I killed it. Like I it was just such a natural thing for me. Um the advertising kind of space, marketing. I've always loved that, uh being able to persuade people visually creatively. Um, but when I went on that interview and I was critiqued live, I loved being critiqued live. And I know a lot of people at the time were like, Are you crazy? Like you are going to be critiqued on Canada AM for how you uh interview. And I was like, Well, if I screw up, I screw up. If I don't, I don't. And I think that's actually what um look Jeffrey Roche actually loved about me, the fact that I just had this fearlessness, which is why he hired me. And then within three months of my internship, so he hired me for an internship, and then within three months, he hired me as a business manager. So that's actually how I got into advertising.

SPEAKER_03 6:18

And I don't think I've ever shared that with you. I've never, I didn't know that. That's awesome. And I think that's a great word for you because I would I would describe you in my experience of being with you as is fearless. Oh, someone who's really like willing, leans in and takes on their life. And you know, um, I think like all of us, we deal with things and we bump up against things in the process, but um, it takes a lot of courage, and you know, especially knowing what I know about your journey, Christine. Um fearless and courageous. Two words that I would use to describe you. So, you know, you've had a successful career over the last 15 years in marketing and advertising and promotions. And I know that you get a lot of joy out of serving your clients and you're, you know, making a difference with people in the work that you do today. So why look at transitioning into being an entrepreneur? What's what's at the source of that? What's the catalyst for that move?

SPEAKER_02 7:14

Yeah, so um it's interesting that you say feel this and courageous because I and I just I'm sure people can relate, but like I don't see myself as that. And I'm honored that you see that in me. Um, because I have like for me, there's so much fear that that has come up in my journey of like specifically around my career and knowing for myself that there is something bigger for me and there is something that I know that I'm meant to do. Um, but actually executing it, like going for it, that for me I feel has been like a big journey in itself. And um so advertising, you know, marketing, that has always sort of been like a natural fit for me, meaning like I was good at it, I get paid for it, and it was just like a natural thing for me to do. Now, I would say when I turned 30, which was now six years ago, um I was taking these courses, personal development courses, as you know, was landmark, um, and particularly the introduction leadership program. Um, it was at that time that I knew for myself, like, okay, am I going to just keep doing what I know that I'm good at and just do it for you know the rest of my life and maybe kind of jump from one role to another, one company to another, and um, and just do that? Or am I really gonna actually look at and go for a bigger dream that I know, like maybe my big, big purpose, which is the conversation that we're having today about forgiveness. Um, and which is something that is so, I would say, not just real for me, but it's so lived that I in my mind sometimes forget that that is my purpose. Um so, you know, when I was younger, um, I went through several uh situations and experiences of sexual abuse um with different people in my family, um, starting with uh actually in my own conscious memory, it was my uh cousin, a cousin of mine, that when I was about four, around four, um, he it was, it just happened for months. And um it's it's something that I'm right now there's like a pause and kind of like that little I feel a little bit discomfort, but I had I have I've shared about this uh for years. And um my journey in sharing about it started about, I would say actually 15 years ago. And I think there were little inklings of you know me feeling like this has to be part of my purpose. This has to be part of like what I'm here for in this world, sharing my story and how I've overcome it. Um and so I feel like it's I'm a little bit all over the place, but I think it's because I'm trying to share with you, okay. This is what happened and this is sort of where I'm at, this is where I was. Um, but yeah, I guess that let me just pause there for now.

SPEAKER_03 10:38

It's it's so perfect, right? I mean, one, like just thank you for your willingness to be so vulnerable in sharing that in this public forum and and in this way. I know you've never shared in this particular format before about what happened. And it's so I was teaching my this is connected, but I was teaching my class last night at UFT and we were talking about listening and the importance of listening and leadership. And I was talking about like, you know, the conversations that we have inside our own head that get in the way of us being fully listening to another, right? And I was saying typically the reason people have those conversations in their head is they're trying to figure out what to say. And I promised them, I said, I want you to go out this week and be fully present with people. I promise you that you're gonna always know what to say when you're fully being with another person present in the communication. I said, and you might have a pause. There may be a moment where what's there to say is vulnerable or scary, or you don't know, you know, might have you look bad. So there may be a pause for you where you're like, can I actually say that? Can I share that about myself with someone? And you have a choice, you never have to share, but I promise you you always know what to say. And so, you know, I having as someone whose family and myself has also been through similar experiences to yours, Christine. I I've had those conversations with my parents. You know, I've had those conversations, even I just wrote an article for a magazine for Soulful Magazine on my journey of overcoming. And and it was about an instance between me and my ex-husband. And I wrote a disclaimer at the bottom saying, like, look, this is just my truth, and in no way meant to disparage anyone else. But it can be confronting, you know, I because I've said to my parents, like, as I become more well-known and I'm out there and I'm sharing, I'm gonna be sharing things about our life. And I just need to know, like, do I have your permission to do that? Are you okay with that? And you know, we had those conversations. So um I think it's part of it is I know your heart, and you would never want to communicate anything that would would hurt anyone, or but I do think it's important, especially because the other thing I want to say about what you just shared, you didn't just overcome all of that. Like the example of forgiveness that you've set, you have the most beautiful relationships with your family. You know what I mean? Like you so you didn't just overcome in the sense like, oh, I made it through or I survived those experiences. Like, this is why I think you you to me, when when we talk about forgiveness, you are such an epitome because you're not you you've you've gone beyond like this, because I think a lot of the conversation, the traditional conversation around forgiveness is it's not about them, it's about you, it's about you having freedom from your circumstances. And all of that is true, but there's a way in which for me and Christine, you elevate forgiveness to being like something that transforms relationship. Then not only does it give me freedom and allow me to move on from my past, but that like, but when you authentically forgive and and like have things be really complete, right? That there's no story left about it, you're clear, you know, you get that whatever those events were, they weren't personal, it wasn't even about you. Um, and yes, of course, you were impacted. Like I that to me is more than overcoming.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

Yeah, um, wow, I just have to take a moment to be with everything that you shared because it was just so big and profound. Um in, you know, as you were sharing, like the person that kept coming up um as you were sharing was my actually my dad. And um, you know, for many people who know around me, um my dad was one of the people actually in my life who I had gone through those experiences with, um, the sexual abuse um uh when I was younger. And um my gosh, so one again, it's just so vulnerable for me to share that in this moment, um, uh knowing that this will be public, but um why it kept coming up was the relationship that I have with him now is you know, we call we talk about transformation, but when you actually have like a living experience of it, like I have so much like unconditional love for him. And um I think that was part of I think that's like the the the emotion that I'm feeling right now is because of everything that I had gone through, everything that he had gone through in this journey, everything that we had gone through together as a family, everything my mom had to go through, my sister had to go through. There were just so many aspects of the impacts of what he did, of having to go through, like, you know, last summer, I'll give you an example. Um, I went to uh it was a family cottage trip, and it was just me, my mom, my dad, my sister, uh, her husband, uh, I believe, yeah. And um, and there was a conversation that my sister had, and it was bringing up again, you know, what had happened in our past and in our family and what he had done. And there was still that unforgiveness within her, you know, that unwillingness to um uh just that just that unwillingness and and not unforgiveness, which is just so normal these days, right? It's just so and and accept it. And it's and I completely can get it when people don't have, you know, don't understand what people who have hurt other people do. And um that weekend was such a transformational weekend for my family, um, and for her to actually experience firsthand what it's like to outwardly, you know, one, share everything she's feeling with my dad with in the presence of me and my mom, him share everything that is there for him, him having to apologize again and and like you know, share, like it just there's so many layers to this, um, that it doesn't just look like, okay, I've forgiven my dad. He's forgiven, he's asked me for his forgiveness. We've now moved on and laughed. Like, there is just so many elements to this that there's just facets of forgiveness within um a situation like this.

SPEAKER_03 17:37

You know, I I I I it's so funny. I've been noticing lately how I say I love what you said, and then I'm like, hold on, is that and I do. There's a part of me that because it's just so like I'm so recreated in it. And it's interesting because I happen to know that you're like you there are layers, and I also happen to know that your sister recently had a child, and and that brings up the conversation newly. I know it did for people in my family, right? Like I had for much of the time I had my kids when I was so young, so much of the time we were really going through a lot of this stuff as a family. I was already a mother, but I know it impacted, like there were moments when I would be with my kids and I would think about some things that had happened in my family and with my mom, and like not, you know, just to be clear, my mom never abused me, but my mom went through, for those that are listening, my mom went through really traumatic experiences as a child. And so, like, you're having seemingly innocent moments where you're like bathing your kids, and then you know, it's like you have this thought about something that happened, and it's like, and now there's this like there's this thing, you know, in this space. And I remember people who were close to our family when when I was growing up, when after we moved to Canada, um, would say, like, what happened to my mom was so in intense and consuming that it oozed out of her pores. It was just everywhere in the space around her. And now it's not anymore. I mean, the the transformation, the work that she's done, the work that we've done as a family, I'm so grateful for the place that we are today. But I I still get that. You know, these are not conversations that you have once. It's and it's the context you have around the forgiveness. You, you know, and we and it we've been in all sorts of places with it. It's been like, you know, there have been many times over the years where my mom's been like, oh, again, like I have to do this again. Like, why, you know, why am I still working on this? Why I thought I dealt with this already, right? Versus like you could be um that it's an opportunity, like wow, like I've got the opportunity now to forgive one more layer and and and like deepen the level of completeness around whatever it is. And you know, I just want to like when you were sharing, Christine, about those conversations that you had over the years. I just want to say what, you know, because people might hear what I say when I say it's not personal. Um and the impact of certain circumstances is so profound that it's kind of like, what do you mean it's not personal? Feels really personal in my life. And what I just want to clarify, what I mean by it's not personal, is I believe that there are generational patterns of behavior that are passed down. And so when I say it's not personal, it's like whatever happened to my grandmother that caused her to do the what she did to my mom. And, you know, it's not personal in that way. It's like there was trauma that was caused in the generation before, and probably before that, and before that, um, and whatever experiences your father went through. Because I also, and I know that you share this belief, believe that we don't come into this world to cause harm to other human beings in the way that we do. It's like it's behavior that's learned and passed down from the environment, from other people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

A hundred percent. And, you know, I can only speak to like my experience in my own family and what I um have heard about even through um other families, particularly in my culture. Um, so coming from a Filipino background, and I I know this obviously would be prevalent in other cultures as well, but like in our particular culture, it's like typically it's a hush-hush sort of thing that, but it's so prevalent. And I think the shame that is so attached to it is part of the reason why they're like the the healing and the forgiveness is it's just it doesn't happen often, you know, and and that's sort of why for me I've in many ways over the years, I've felt so alone. Um, because it's not many people that I know, particularly in my culture, who have like come out um and you know, shared what have had happened and um. In such a public way and just kind of been public with their own journey around it.

SPEAKER_03 22:07

Yeah, it's so kind of fascinating that the whole thing around shame. And I love Brene Brown's definition around this, that like there's shame, shame would have us believe that there's something about us. And I think this is why your forgiveness of your father is so beautiful. Because it's so moving beyond that shame, right? Because there's like it's this idea that there's something about us that if it were known by others, would have us be unworthy of love and connection. And it's like, and it's all there and it's known, and you still love your father unconditionally. And it's beautiful. Like I've met him, I've seen, I've seen who he is, how he is with you. Like it's just freaking beautiful. Like if I could swear right now, I try not to swear on the show. Those who know me well know that like I do swear. But I try not, it just moves me to just see that that kind of love. And to kind of come back a little bit to what we were saying about why become an entrepreneur, I was present in your chair, and Christine, to Chris, who's one of my mentors who's all friends, was on the show a few months back, said human beings are the only species who can live alongside their authentic self and even be successful. So here you are as a successful businesswoman in marketing, promotions, and advertising. And but it's like there's this authentic self that wants to be expressed. There's this purpose that wants to be fulfilled. And so, and it's not you don't have a bad life right now, it's there's nothing wrong with that. But there is an impact when we don't step into either for fear or not knowing how, when there is a future that calls to us, you know, a difference that we know that we're uniquely capable of fulfilling on. I think there is a lot, you know, and it and it runs the gamut from like foam depression and dissociation to like just a general sense of dissatisfaction. But it's like we know that there's something out there that we were created for. And when we're not fulfilling on that, it's not like life's bad, but it's like there's so much more available when you we start to step in to fulfilling on why we were created.

SPEAKER_02 24:19

Yeah, yeah. And so, you know, it's funny because like definitely it's not bad, you know. Like I have had many um moments for myself where I've had to give, you know, forgive myself for just allowing, you know, accepting where I'm at in my journey of being an entrepreneur and uh figuring out what exactly that purpose looks like. And there, and at the same time, there's so many moments where I'm like, why can't I get my, you know, SH comic square, but you know, crap together. Um, because it's it's I also see how needed it is, you know, and how how much of a difference it is when I share my story. And I think this goes back to um remember how I told you 15 years ago is when my journey started of you know coming out with it and and sharing about it. This was before the um we just started talking about like before the podcast started, but um, I started a support group called uh SoulSpeak and it's a sexual abuse support group, which exists right now. It's um I've handed it off, it's being run by um others. Um, but when I started it, it started from two people and it grew to over 200 members within two years. And I remember sharing my story like every week, every week, every week to just different members who had also gone through uh sexual abuse. And um I really, it's like in a way, I feel like I've forgotten and I sometimes forget the impact that me sharing makes, you know, because when I'm not sharing it, my life is happening, you know, like I'm working and I'm, you know, now planning to get married in November, um, moving to London, Ontario. So I can just get so mired in all of my kind of day-to-day what my priorities are in the moment, that I forget that when I actually just share, I get present to, and I'm I'm literally in the presence of my purpose and the presence of this is just the idea of sharing is what makes a difference. And so I I just love you know what you said because I'm really even in this moment getting present to it's not about the how, you know, and I think that's been my issue um this whole time of the execution of like how, okay, so I know that this is a big part of my life, I know that this is my purpose. Um, but how should I do it? You know, you and I have had many calls week to week. One week I'm telling you, oh, it's gonna be a book, and then next week it's it's gonna be a documentary. Next week, oh, I've I've almost finished taking a course so I can coach. And I and and it's and that in itself has been sort of tiring, you know, and and then I realize, but it's not about me, you know, like it's not about that. It's it's just start sharing and and maybe that will come out. And I and so just thank you for this opportunity, even on this podcast, because I just get to have a space where I can share and just see what comes out of that, out of that.

SPEAKER_03 27:35

Yeah, and I love it because you know, a couple of days ago, Christine and like we got we have our weekly calls. We got on the call yesterday, and Christine's like, Amber, I'm not technically an entrepreneur yet. Like, I don't think I should be coming on the show. And I'm like, well, well, did I say that? Did I say you had to be like a six, seven-finger business to be on my podcast? Like you're in a conversation for entrepreneurship and you're you're in a conversation for fulfilling on what matters. And and I really I think it's important, as I said at the beginning, for people to get you can be in totally different spaces. And it like it doesn't just keep leaning into it, right? And I really like the fact because there's this tendency, and I even notice it, I still do it, you know, I get on social media and I'm like, oh my God, this person's doing all of this and and this person's doing that, and and I'm not doing, and and you get into the space of like comparison and it's human and it's natural. And I love, you know, on a on a kind of a like putting a positive frame around it. I love that, you know, one of my coaches at one point, Danielle, would say the minute you see other people's success, you like ground in gratitude, like when you have those experiences of like comparison or jealousy and envy, like you ground in gratitude and you bless their success because you wouldn't even be seeing it if if it wasn't also coming for you. And at the same time, I think like so 100% to all of that, and I'm a stand that people create their journey to success and happiness however they want. And your business doesn't have to look like anyone else's. And and so it's like, so I think it can be daunting for for for people when they have like, I've got this really mighty purpose. Like, I've given my life over to causing a global transformation and how people forgive one another. And, you know, whatever that looks like, I don't know what that looks like today. And we can't know from today what it's gonna look like at the end of the journey. Um, so there's this tendency to start looking out, right? And looking at what other people are doing and saying, okay, I'm gonna replicate that because they look like they've been successful doing that. And I think it's really wise, you know, a few months back where you were like, you know what? I'm just gonna stop. I'm gonna focus on my wedding, I'm gonna focus on my move, I'm gonna give myself some space, I'm gonna lean back and listen for what does my intuition tell me? And and yet still, you're taking some actions, you're having this conversation with me this morning. You never know who's gonna listen to the show and and want to connect with you and want to say participate or or be moved by you sharing your story. Um so I think there's a, I believe there's a lot of wisdom, like one in it doesn't have to look any specific way. You get to be in the driver's seat of creating how fulfilling your purpose, like fulfilling on your purpose, what that looks like. And two, just because you're not visibly taking actions towards something doesn't mean that things are not unfolding and things are not moving towards you as long as you keep holding space. It's like I'm clear that this is what I exist for, and I'm being open to receive um how to fulfill on it because I'm not clear right now, and I'm not just gonna go out and spend a bunch of money and take a bunch of actions because I because I think I should. Like I'm actually gonna take that time. I think it's it's I'm proud of you for doing that. Again, it takes courage to do that. Yeah, yeah, especially we live in a culture that says take action, perform, cause results. You've got to achieve something. You can't call yourself an entrepreneur if you haven't achieved anything yet. You don't, and so it's like, well, who says?

SPEAKER_02 31:20

You know what? Like, and and I think that's part of it. Like when I it's take it, it I've also had to practice um detaching and forgiving myself when I have thoughts of you should you should be doing this, or you know, why haven't you gotten to this point where you're already starting your business? Um, when I look at social media, let alone, you know, like just social media, even Instagram, and and I follow a lot of um different, you know, inspirational figures um that are just, you know, they they put a post and it's just so easy for them to put a post of, you know, um, today is, you know, a day that you can take in action, just take one step. And it it sounds easy, but to actually do it, I don't know. Like I I really feel like I've I've almost like appreciated the space of just being with where I'm at and allowing my allowing, I think that's like the word, the key word. It's like just allowing whatever there is to be. Um, you know, you know, Liliana, a good friend, mutual friend. We've coached together, and um, I also um have conversations with her every week. And um I've last year I went up to her cottage, um, her retreat, she has a retreat in Midland, um, or was it Penitenguishing? But anyhow, um it was it was a moment that allowed me to really reflect on um myself, my journey, and just getting that it's okay where I'm at, you know, like just as much as I am out to cause people to forgive, you know, other situations, um themselves, like I've got to learn to forgive myself. And I think that has sort of been the biggest part of my journey around forgiveness this past year is like forgiving myself, learning what it looks like to forgive myself from every level, even in what I put in my mouth, um, you know, and how I take care of my body. So um, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:41

It's that that noticing, right? Oh man, like my should stick. I, you know, you joke that we beat ourselves up with the should stick. It used to be like barred with wire and knives to put out it. And Christine coached me. So for and you know, for people who know me, you think I'm like lovely and nice and all of these things. And I and I am, but man, my identity is stubborn and like wants to be right about things. And you know, so it takes something sometimes, and especially in one of the biggest things that I've dealt with is just like the internal dialogue and how much I would like just eviscerate, and I'm using strong language for a reason because it was like that in my own mind, just eviscerate myself. And since the oh over the last couple of months, it's just like this beautiful space that I've been in where it's like just notice things now. It's like, huh, okay, I'm procrastinating about that again. Why do I keep? Like I say, I need to go to bed at 10 to get up at five, but I just seem to really want to watch another episode of House at 10 o'clock. And I even have an alarm in my phone that goes off that says, go to bed, and like big letters. And I snooze that. And I don't do it, right? So it's like, but instead of in the past, it would have been a lot of like, oh, I'm bad and wrong. Like, what's wrong with you? You're not committed enough to your goal. Like, and now it's more like, oh, okay, I'm doing that again. That that pattern, okay, interesting. And I it's it's so great because I was, as I said, I was teaching last night, and we one of the techniques I was teaching my students was about observation. So you're observing um other people in the workplace to understand what their needs are around technology or processes or all of these different things. And I was saying that at times, like you can either do direct or indirect observation. So, in with direct observation, they know you're watching them. But sometimes we want to do indirect observation. And I asked my students, like, why do you think we would want to do observe people when they don't know we're watching them? And they said, you know, well, they'll change their behavior. And I said, Yeah, they will, right? Oftentimes, like people will do workarounds or shortcuts or whatever, but but if they know they're being watched, they're gonna do the what they're supposed to do or they think they're supposed to do, right? And one of my students typed in the chat, he's like, Yeah, from quantum mechanics, observation causes change. And I was like, Oh, so brilliant. Because if you take like Michael Singer's The Untethered Soul, that observer, being the observer in your life, like stepping outside of like it's personal, I'm bad or wrong, like that internal contest that we have with ourselves, and just step outside of that. When you take that role of the observer, it does cause change.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:37

Right? Because you start to observe the behavior, and then you start to say, okay, well, what behaviors do I like or not like? Like what am I? But you you you you separate yourself from kind of the the um the emotion of it, right? And I and I thought that was really neat. Observation causes change.

SPEAKER_01 36:53

That is really neat. It's so true.

SPEAKER_02 36:57

Yeah, yeah. Um, I don't know why, but in this moment as you were speaking, um, and I think you had uh mentioned this before about just inspirations and different um like what inspires you or who's in has inspired you. I um and you know, not to say that, and I don't know, I don't know. Maybe in my journey and in my business eventually, there will uh I think there will most definitely be a spiritual component to it, but um Jesus and Mother Teresa and different spiritual figures in that have existed in history, um, Gandhi and Martin Luther King and Um just the um the unconditional love that's been um that they've you know exuded and and that they teach. Um there really is an element, and I don't know what it is, but it's forgive them, father, for they know not what they do. You know, that was something that just ever since I was little has always been instilled in me. And uh, you know, just you talking about, you know, being beating yourself up, um I really also see, and I kind of spoke about it this past year has been a journey of forgiving myself. Um, I realize I should also receive that, you know, like I have known what it's like to forgive others, you know, and forgive them father, for they know not what they do. But when you do that for yourself, forgive yourself for you know not what you do, and you have the experience of living that there really is a true freedom um of, you know, like I wouldn't make myself wrong for playing Candy Crush on my phone or you know, just whatever, doing whatever. And yeah, it's it's it really, I don't know why there's no words for it. It's just that this freedom and just present you.

SPEAKER_03 39:00

It's so great. We were um on my accountability club yesterday. Like, I pull a Louise Hay card every morning for the day for the group. And the yesterday's card was like about abundance and prosperity and welcoming that into your life. And one of the things it said is like um, like you know, being willing to accept the gifts of life. And I was like, how about you go out today and be in the inquiry of like if it's true, like you know, whatever true for you, whatever you believe, and I do, that everything is unfolding for our greatest good. Then isn't everything that happens today a gift from life? Like, I mean everything, like the car accident, the fight with your spouse, the you know, things not going the way, the bill that shows up that's higher than you thought it was, like all of it, like you could choose to believe, not like it's some truth, but a place to stand that like everything that happens in our life is unfolding, is is is just steps on that path. And you don't have to, there's and it's the journey that's life, by the way. I got this, like I was sharing with this group of people this morning on a call. I was like, I really got yesterday that I'm gonna die with a to-do list. I'm gonna die with a to-do list, and it'll probably be quite long. And other people may or may not pick up aspects of my to-do list, and no one's gonna die. Like it's not significant that I have a to-do list at the end of the day. Um, and that was just really like, I was like, yeah, I'm gonna die with a to-do list. But this is the journey right here, these moments, this conversation, you whoever's listening to the show, like this is actually your life. We don't get another life beyond this moment. It's it's what's happening right here. And that I think the ability to love yourself, the ability to forgive yourself, the willingness to love and forgive yourself is that's the real work. It's like it's funny because it's easy uh comparatively, it's easy to love and forgive other people. If you really, you know, it's like really like but the the the real miracles start opening up in our lives when we when we do that work on ourselves and like when we really fall in love with ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 41:26

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Beautifully said and eloquent as always.

SPEAKER_03 41:36

So I wanted to touch for a moment on because we had this conversation, like it what what do you what do you see? Like, what do we see is available in a world that has a transformed relationship to forgiveness? Right. And you and I, I remember we had a conversation once, and you were like, Well, I don't know how to monetize this, I don't know how to make a living from it. And and it's funny, that's the first place we often go because you know, we have certain financial realities as human beings. And as much as we we say, oh, it's not about the money, it's about the service, like that's always part of, especially you know, when you're looking at being an entrepreneur, we we need to be able to financially support ourselves. But I remember asking you the question and said, you know, go away and just look for yourself, like who who couldn't? Like, who are all the groups of people that could benefit from an expanded relationship or you know, awareness around forgiveness? And I remember you coming back the week after and just like, I'd love to hear you share with with us like what that was like for you.

SPEAKER_02 42:40

Yeah, um, my God. So again, thank you for uh bringing that question up. Uh, because at that time, it's like I hadn't actually been present to what would be possible in this world if there was forgiveness in and what groups and what different people uh would benefit. And, you know, one overall, I just think everyone, like every single kind of human being um could benefit from uh learning, truly learning how to forgive, whether it's, you know, like a parent or a spouse or a child or a teenager. Um and then, you know, I even had brought up the impact that I saw in politics. Um, and I want to bring up politics after uh shortly after, but you know, like uh even religious figures um within themselves and like the church, um uh prisons as you know, prisons and organizations, uh leadership, uh especially leadership, actually. But I'm I wanna bring up politics because it's something that recently came up for me that I hadn't shared with you yet that I thought about. But um, you know, us, we're living in Ontario right now, and Ontario, uh we've you know, there's been a very long lockdown. Which we're now not in, we're in step one of the reopening of Ontario. But uh for the long part of the pandemic, we've been in uh stay-at-home order. And um, you know, there have been so many different opinions about how the Ontario government has handled um the pandemic. And um I thought to myself, you know, imagine if you know, Doug Ford, uh, Christine Elliott, um, you know, uh Tori and even Trudeau, if they knew if they had an expanded relationship to forgiveness in others and in themselves, how much quicker or how much more productive you know, conversations, meetings would be of you know, talking about, you know, you know, how do we reopen this economy? Okay, how do we allocate doses? Just how much quicker um you could be when you forgive yourself. Just because I know for myself, it's when I'm making myself wrong or someone's making me wrong and I'm making someone wrong, there's just no space and it takes a long time to move forward, right? And to move on. But when you know your how to forgive yourself and forgive someone else, then there's nothing, there's literally nothing. And as you know, in the work that we've done in the past, when there's nothing, there's possibly anything, there's anything. Um, there's a possibility for anything. So I thought about that. I'm just like, holy crap, like we could really use forgiveness in our province and um and in our cities. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:34

Oh, it's just like everywhere, right? So I love that you're, you know, kind of like I think it's it's apt to talk about what's happening with COVID, and and I I completely agree with you. You can't create on top of something. And so when, and there's like all like there's so much in between, like the different incomplete, the different provinces, you know, the First Nations community, like it's just like you could go on and on and on about all of the things that like we've never really gotten complete, and and like where true like forgiveness hasn't actually occurred. Um, and part of it, I think 100% you're right, that it's like it's one thing to forgive externally, but like forgiving ourselves and taking responsibility for whatever part we've played in it. Uh I remember going to a vaccine clinic and to get my second shot of of Pfizer, and and like things were a little slow, you know, it was they were running a little bit late, and people were so upset. And I was just like, I was just in the corner, just like being grateful and just like trying to fuse gratitude into the environment and and at the same time getting that you know, a lot of these people were elderly and maybe they had other things to do. And um, but like coming from that place of forgiveness, it's like and gratitude, it's like, wow, like look at everything these guys are putting these clinics on. They've we've gone from being like way behind the curveball globally to being the leader and having the amount of Canadians with their first dose, like you know, the effort, the mammoth effort, and I know this intimately from working in healthcare right now, like with my and even though I'm not working on projects directly related to COVID, all of the efforts that are being done to keep everything else going and moving forward while still serving the communities with the pandemic. Um, but it's like, what if people knew to forgive first? Like, and I've been present to this in myself where gratitude has gone from like as I've created new neural pathways around gratitude, where gratitude went from like I was never grateful to I started to develop this gratitude, you know, I was never grateful, it was never enough, I was never enough. That was kind of the soup I swam in, the ocean I swam in, to like, oh, I'm gonna do this gratitude practice and I'm gonna like be grateful every morning. I'm gonna write the 10 things down and like, and but now it's like gratitude is just like I'm so you and I've talked about this, Christina. I'm just so freaking grateful. And every once in a while it goes out, and then like really quickly within seconds, I'm like, okay, what can I be grateful for about this? Like it's just now a part of my subconscious is rewired around gratitude. Imagine it was that way around forgiveness. Wow. Like imagine like if humanity just like really was like they had new neural pathways and new around forgiveness. Like, what would that make if it like it? I just don't even, I don't even know. It just like you know, yeah, it's just a different, I like a whole different world to step into.

SPEAKER_02 48:49

It really, really is, it really is. And you know, like as um for you, gratitude that just being embodying gratitude, um, I see that forgiveness is so synonymous, and and you actually mentioned it earlier, uh, responsibility. Like I actually find for myself when I have the presence and um I'm in the presence of forgiveness for myself, what actually arises is like responsibility, taking responsibility and and just realizing, okay, like where am I responsible for this? Um, or where you know, the things that are responsible, and and just um there is act, I don't know, there really is that just action comes from that naturally, you know, just naturally. It's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 49:41

Well, so a couple things. One for anyone listening to the show, wherever you're at in your own journey of forgiveness about anything, like I just want to say it's perfect. And you know, just that that you're even engaged in, have awareness around bringing awareness to this conversation for yourself. Um it takes time to to move through the layers of trauma and and and so and if there's anything that myself or Christine could ever do to support you, her her information will be in um the show notes as well as the is there a website for SoulSpeak so that if people are it's actually a meetup.

SPEAKER_02 50:17

So I can send you the link to meetup.

SPEAKER_03 50:19

Yeah, if you could do that, because I'll include that in the show notes if anyone wants to participate in that or or know anyone, make that resource available because maybe you don't need it, but you know, like knowing about it, you could make it available for someone else. Uh and Christine, like I'm just I'm so grateful. Like I say, I feel like I say I'm grateful all the time, but like that I get to be part of your life, like that that we we we really got connected on that gate hold and uh that I just get to be in life with you. It's such a gift. And I I acknowledge you for having the courage to just be stepping into this crazy world of being an entrepreneur. It can be confronting, it's amazing, but it also has its moments. And uh just thank you for for the gift that you are in my life and the gift that you've been to my audience this morning.

SPEAKER_02 51:04

My pleasure, and thank you so much for this space for me to just share myself and my story. And I absolutely adore you. And it was magical when we met, like meant to be. And it's for life. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 51:18

For everyone listening, have a wonderful weekend. Thank you for being with Christine and I in this conversation, and I will see you next week.

SPEAKER_00 51:25

Thank you so much for joining us for this week's episode. For show info, visit what wouldamberdo.com. And for information about Amber Howard and Associates' offerings and services, visit amberhowardinc.com.