Welcome to What Would Amber Do with your host, Amber Howard, your weekly dose of guidance, inspiration, and strategies to have your small business and whole life thrive. We bring you incredible guests who share their real life experiences of being an entrepreneur so you can have your whole life work. Now, here's your host, Amber Howard.

Good morning, everyone. Welcome back to What Would Amber Do. It is just my profound pleasure and honor and privilege to be speaking with Istahar Jamil this morning. Istahar is a computer scientist, turned business coach, and she's been featured on Forbes, TEDx, TED, NBC, CBS, and hundreds of other media outlets. She has a multiple number one international best-selling author. Istahar lives in California with her husband and children, and she is driven to help female entrepreneurs become the top number one authority in their field. Istahar, thank you so much for being on the show this morning.

Thank you so much, Amber. And everyone, how are you? Hope you're having a beautiful day. And may peace be upon you. It's my absolute pleasure, honor to be in this conversation with Amber. I was really looking forward to it for it's been a while, but we're here. We did it. We made it.

Yeah, it's like, I don't know, it's like I was like, as you're talking, I'm trying to reflect. You know, you wonder like where people came into your, like joined your story, right? Like, and I don't even, I'm maybe I saw something that you had posted or somehow on Facebook or something like that. Um, but one of my other kind of mentors says that the, you know, when you're ready, the right people show up. And and you showed up at the time in my life when I was really looking to for myself, like, how do I start to position myself more as an authority and get credibility? And then it's like magically, sourcefully, you appear, and uh, I'm so excited for some of the things that we're working on. You know, you and Michelle have really supported me in my journey to become a TEDx speaker and working on a book project together. And it's just uh so tell me a little a bit about how do you go from, right? Like it seems like a little bit of a stretch. Like, how do you go from being a computer scientist to a leading media expert who's like really out to empower women around having their voices be heard?

Yeah, I mean, where do I start? I I mean for sure it didn't happen yesterday. Ta-da! Here I am. Like, I think it all started with um a conversation I had with my late grandmother. My late grandmother, she's um a housewife, but on her dining table, there's always stuff. There's always jewelry or clothes or hijab or you know, you just name it. There's always stuff on her table. And then I asked her, I call her momin. Mommy, why do you have all these things? It's like it's for me to sell. I'm like, why? Because I love money, you know, like that was her answer. And until the day she passed away, you know, um, may God bless her, and you know, have the best life for her. Like, she would tell me, you know what, don't worry about anything else, just give me money. Like she would always have that. And my grandma is the type that she's a housewife, she didn't have a uh a full-time job at her, you know, before women are not encouraged to have education or go working, but she's like always go for what she wants, like, you know, like her furniture. She wants a nice furniture. My grandpa would give her an allowance, whatever's different, she has to top up. She also had to figure it out. And she's always like, you know, I want nice furniture. I'm gonna go and make it happen. So she would sew, she would bake, she would do whatever it takes to have the things that she desires. She bought her own car, she traveled on her own, she paid all her own expenses. So I feel that my grandma kind of instilled that entrepreneurship seed, you know, within me. I remember I used to go to shops with her. I'm like shopping on, do you know, like cloth where you sew to make clothes, right? She would buy yarns of it, different colors. So I would always go with her. So that kind of started my journey into entrepreneurship. And um, and then it goes along when I was doing my PhD. Um, and I was, I think, four months pregnant with my firstborn, and my husband and I was like, you know what, let's start a business. I'm like, okay, babe.

Because I don't have enough on my plate this week. Let me be pregnant and doing my PhD. And yeah, let's like go to business.

Yeah, and then the the whole soul, the whole purpose was it because we wanted to eat healthier. We wanted to eat the food from the farm, you know, like really taking our food from the farm, meeting the farmers, see how the chickens live. I know so much about chickens and lamb, you wouldn't believe it because of that business. Do you know what I mean? How they live, what they eat, their lifestyle, the people who raise them, it all have an effect to what you eat, how you feel, your energy. So that's what my husband wanted to do organic to deliver organic produce farm from the uh to deliver organic produce items from the farm to the customer store. Uh we we only eat halal meat, um, so we were the first in the area to deliver that. And it just started out of interest, out of passion, out of experience, and it sort of developed over time. And when I came to America, I was like, I knew Amber with two young kids, I knew I didn't want to have a nine to five job. I just wanted all I wanted was like I just want to be home with my kids and make money for my kitchen table. That's all that I wanted to do. Um, so and I've never looked back since um in having that dream and that passion, but it all started years and years and years and years ago, before coming, you know, being here today.

I love so one, I love who your grandmother was for you. And I think those like sourceful relationships, you know, like whoever they are, and like we continue to create sourceful relationships with other people, like you're sourceful for me and in a part of my life and my journey. It's like like they leave such an an imprint on us. And and um, and sometimes not such a great imprint, you know, depending on our growing up and our experiences, but you know, really present to just um your grandmother being like an indomitable force, like just really being used by this idea that she wasn't at the effect of her circumstances. Like there's like there's whatever's going on outside of her, and then what she wants, and then like fully empowered. And and I see that in you. Like, you are someone for me who's just fully empowered to go out and create what you want in life. And uh, the other thing that you said that I really love is like this idea that yeah, we can create plants and we can have ideas about what it is that we want. And and as life changes, what we want changes. And so to be, I think, part of being resilient, part of living a created life, which is my commitment for woman, everyone really, but specifically my business woman, is that they really get that you're not stuck with anything and that even you know, you get to ongoingly create the life that you desire and that you want, regardless of what's happening around you.

Absolutely. And you're a hundred percent spot on on that, Amber, because life changes, right? From our 20s to our 30s, from one kid to three kids, from the environment that we're in. I used to live in Malaysia, then England, then India, then you know, California. It all changes and we grow. That's the thing that people like people miss that the growth comes and it's okay to grow, it's okay to change, it's okay to do whatever you want, and more importantly, have the courage to go for anything that you want. Because we only have like, if we're lucky, 60 years, 70 years in this life, why wait? So this is the time to make an impact to anything that you want, your life, the people around you. And if you have children, you will see the impact on how you paint to your kids because they're gonna copy you, they're gonna have your energy. If you're gonna be go out there and fearless and out there, and your kids are gonna follow you through, or the people around you. And I know for those who not have kids yet, but just know that how you being has an impact to be around you. And you know, I messed up a lot being a mom, um, but there are days when you know, I felt that, oh my god, this is what I live for being a mom. You know, like today or the days that my kids was um gonna go and help out with a charity to pack up food for the homeless. So, you know, there's something that I feel that, oh, I messed up so much. I forgot to pick up my kids from school, I forgot to do this, this, and this. But when the things happen, you know that you made an impact to the people around you. So always kind of like be the best. Go for it.

It's uh so you know, it's so funny, like the way we uh the way we listen to ourselves or think, you know, I was with an extraordinary woman the other night. She's like in her 70s, and this woman is like a like a like, you know, the beingness of like a duchess. Like a like, you know, and but she doesn't listen to herself that way. And so, like, you know, one of one of my gifts and things that I I really like I get to speak life into people and I get to, you know, as one of my my friends says, like reflect back to other people on the mirror of my heart, like who they are, right? And so I look at you, you know, I one of the things that you and I share in common is our love of children, our children and and family and things like that. Like, you know, your daughter is like seven or eight years old and already written a book, and like so that she can buy her own pony, like manifesting things and you know, like and I love that in your like it like when you get to live a life where it doesn't have to look a certain way. Like you can be a successful businesswoman and you can be making a difference with people, and your kids can be climbing all over you and they can be in there, like they can be on video with you and like because they want to be in that energy too. Like, she wants to be with mom as like mom's transforming the world, right? And then that like that imprint that that leaves on her, like what she really gets from such a young age, like not just that she can make a difference for other people and she can have what she wants, and that she gets to be like such a powerful contribution to other people and be of service, right? Because I think like you and I are both human beings who really like value servant leadership, right? And like having that be inside of fulfilling on our pleasure and our desire and the things that we want in our lives. I think that's what has servant leadership be workable and not like the kind of dark side of it, which is like martyrdom, right? Which is where I spend most of my life up until recently. Most of my life was spent in like martyring myself for some cause, right? Versus like, no, like I can actually be a powerful contribution to other people. And when it's inside of fulfilling on my desire, then like it's so much more powerful and sustainable over time.

Absolutely. And it just trickles in, doesn't it, Amber? Like who you're being like now, my son. Before he was like, no, I don't want to write a book. No, I don't want to write a book, no, no, no. But because you know, my daughter and I, we went to a book reading. My daughter did a video, we had fun. He was inspired, mommy. I want to do a book too, because I want to buy like you know, a computer set to play my computer games. I'm like, okay, then that's his goal. So it's like this trickling in of there's a saying in my group to be the queen in your queendom, right? Your honest queen in your queen, like being the best, being the expert, like really honing in to who you are, because nobody, nobody, nobody can do what to do. I don't know if you've met the queen of England, if anybody's listening, have met the queen of England. I have met the queen of England. She came to my university in England to inaugurate a building, and I literally stood there in front of the gate, right? There I am, I want to see the queen. And when she passed now with her black car, uh, the late Prince Philip was there. Um, at that time, it was you know a few years back. She wore this really bright uh lime green um dress with a hat, with a top, with a pearl. She just looked like everything just parted her way, her beingness. Oh my god, Amber, it's just right with a wave with a slight smile. That's it. And you know she owns it. She doesn't have to speak a word. It's just like what you were saying, Amber. Her beingness, the queen is so grounded, is so solid, it's so powerful. Like, I'm like, oh my god, like I've never had that, you know, the energy experience, like when she just passed along, waved up. I I I'm just gonna say she waved at me. You know, she waved at me. But of course she did. Absolutely. So that's like how I kind of honed in the energy, the queen energy, very grounded. It's not high, you know, it's not not high, high as in crazy, but very grounded, very solid, very strong, very powerful, very moving. So that's kind of like the key in me being the best at what I do.

I want to talk to you about why that's so important to you, but you know, I'm really like, so you you recently you did a um like a challenge, like a free five-day like retreat on you know, becoming an authority, and and I I participated in that around becoming a media expert. And and one of the things that I really discovered on that on during the five days, and anyone who's listening to this, you know, definitely you'll be able to check out Issahara and you know her Facebook communities and all of that in the show notes. And you definitely want to be connected with this woman and and the amazing work that she's doing. And like one of the things that I really got is like this notion of credibility. Like, if I actually step outside of myself and look on paper, I'm a very credible human being. Like, probably a unicorn in the world. There are probably very few individuals on the planet that have my set of like certificates, educational experience, skills, knowledge, training. And there was this part of me that was like, Well, I can't declare myself like that that authority, that determining that Amber's an authority or that Amber's credible or an expert's gotta come from outside of me. Someone's gotta deem that, you know, like someone's gotta declare me to be the expert. And I was like, well, well, who says? Like, and that was one of my big breakthroughs in your in in that training with you and that time with you was like, well, who said that that's the case? Why, why isn't it enough? Like, if I if I'm actually creating my world and my speaking is giving my world, then like I'm by declaring myself an expert, like people will listen to me as that, right? It doesn't have to come from the outside. And I think that's such a powerful, you know, do you want to make sure that you've got the traps to support your declaration that you're an expert? Yeah, absolutely. But it's like it's it's um generative language, right? Like it's it's like it's it's declaring and creating and and speaking something into existence. And that's really like if you actually look at it, that's all credibility is, right? It's like authority. It's people create agreement. You know, I remember watching the crown. And, you know, I love the royal family as well. I I you know I didn't know that that's something that you and I share in common, but I just think there's like an and the the history of it and you know, like all of it, and and watching like events, and it probably started with being like four or five years old and watching Princess Die's wedding in New Zealand as a little girl, and I just was like enraptured by this institution. And and I I and I remember watching the episode of The Crown where Elizabeth, you know, they put her in the box, and you know, she goes in as a young woman, you know, a princess, sure, but she goes in and then you know, she comes out, no one sees what happens inside of that box. It's closed off, no one, you know, like even though they videotaped it for the first time, the coronation, like no one actually saw anything that happened to Elizabeth when she was in that space. And then she comes out and she's declared the queen. And then with that comes like a whole agreement within Britain and the world about who this human being now is, who she wasn't five minutes ago when she went into the box, you know. And I think that is something really powerful for us to get as human beings, that any kind of you know, credibility, authority is all inside of agreement.

Absolutely. You're spot on on that, Amber. Like, look, like you are the best at what you do. You are, you truly know that because of the experiences, the training that you do. But the thing is that women don't understand is that we live in a world where um acknowledgement, accreditations, they all count, right? I know it sounds materialistic, I know it sounds unfair, I know it sounds all that. But here's the thing smart women knows how to play the game. Smart women knows how to leverage on all that. You may or may not need it, but smart women knows if I were to leverage on all that, it's gonna go like whoosh, it's gonna get me set uh higher, better, on like on top of everyone else, because every there's lots and thousands and thousands of coaches, entrepreneurs, millions of them. But what people truly want is to work with the best. If you look at history, if just look at history of all the self-transformation leader, any leader, they all want to work with the best, period. Even when you go to see a doctor, you want to work with the best doctor. You don't want to work with a dodgy doctor, you want to work with the best. So hence come, you know, playing the game. You want to win the game, you gotta play by the rules, you know, like tick, tick, tick, tick, play tennis, you hit this within this line, you get a point, kind of thing. So that's kind of like being smart and strategic around honing into your expertise and having an iconic, globally trusted organization supporting you. That's why I'm big on that. Because otherwise, what's gonna set you apart? For example, I've been featured on Forbes, one of the most iconic, prestigious uh platform in the world. So when people see me, they know I'm different from everyone else. Because a few people who's been featured on Forbes to my credibility. So it just sets them at ease, knowing that you're good at what you do and having Forbes endorse me. So it's all settled. When they go in, they know I'm the best. That's it. End off.

Yeah, and then it's like being someone who operates with integrity inside of that, like really getting right that the you people have a listening of you, people have a, you know, like with that, you know, having those doors opened, people will have expectations of who you be with them and how you operate inside of your business. And and and this is like what what's present for me in this con, like right now in this moment is this idea of congruence. And I and I talk about this a lot because I think it's, you know, it's one of the highest things that I aspire to be in my life, and sometimes that, you know, is to be someone who's speaking and thinking and acting and you know, are in alignment with my core values and who I say I am for people. And and and when I'm not that, like get responsible for it and and make sure that I operate consistent with who I say I am for people.

Yes, absolutely. And obviously, like you gotta be like at a certain place too, right? You gotta be like, for example, Forbes only feature or only want to talk to expert and authority. So you gotta build that fundamental and foundation in order for you to hit that, and then to know do particular steps for you to be able to get featured, or mostly than anything, is to share your message, right? Whatever it is that you believe in your message to that. It has to be, it's always going to be consistent and congruent. You're not, I'm not gonna suddenly say talk about weight loss on Forbes, right? That's got nothing to do with me. But not like my passion, like my passion is helping women to be the best at what they do, for them to have the best client and make the most money so that they can have the best life that they want to have. That's my vision, that's my purpose for women to feel unleashed and like total sense of freedom. And that would happen only if they're owning as the queen in the queendom. Because if you're not the queen in your queendom, it ain't gonna happen because you'll always be a slave, isn't it? So the queen is the one that's the leader, that's running the ship, that is um seeing the prosperity of the servants, seeing what's the best for the for for her for uh in her kingdom. So that's how I always see myself. And in the retreat, I would always say that you're the queen in your kingdom, you're the price, you're the hot property. Property on it.

I don't know how else I actually started, I've adopted that language. And you know, it's like because I think it's so great. Because I think it's um there is a bit of a, and I can't speak for other parts of the world, but you know, especially here in North America, there is a little bit of a like, you don't want to be egotistical, you you know, women should look, you know, should be a certain way, you know, and it and it and it's I think it's about owning our power, and it's about owning that like all of us, regardless of what you do for a living, how you choose to make an impact in the world, like you know, we we all um have something that we're here to fulfill upon and like to do that, whatever that is, to the best of your ability, right? And I think coming from that place of really seeing of worthiness, right? Because now I hear when you say you're the prize, like I hear, you know, that like that's like that that is a way of seeing oneself that is aligned with that, you know, being worthy, right? And uh that I think is very powerful. And um like as someone who went through much of their life not being worthy, and as someone who still gets out of the bed in the morning into like unworthy, and then I get to generate and create worthiness, right? Like it's uh it's it's very powerful messaging. And why but why like I mean you start off as a computer scientist, you've had a lot of different experiences in life. You know, why is it so important to you to be fulfilling on this purpose, like to have woman get their power, to have woman be the queen in their queendom? Like, why does that even matter to you?

Because I'm tired of playing small, Amber. Just tired of playing small. Because within me, I knew there's something big that I put a stop to it because for whatever reason, right? Whether circumstances, society, family, whatever reason. But I'm just tired of playing small and knowing that you know, the sense of unfulfilled and my unfulfilledness is that there's something great within me. It's not about other people, but it's just me. There's something great within me, that's something that I want to share, that's something that I can make an impact to, and also like I see the impact it had to my children when I was paying small. And I didn't want that, like you know, I want my kids to be fully self-expressive, I want my kids to be courageous, I want my kids to go for whatever the dreams. Like, how can I say that when I'm not doing that myself? Like, I felt like you know, an imposter saying, Yeah, go for it, you can do it, anything. And that's just kind of like how I see it. Like me, myself, I have a voice and it's important. I know what I can do, like I don't know. Like I had to experience a burning desire to have women to be the best, to have the best. Why settle? Why play small? We're not put on this earth to go through pain and suffering. I do believe God from His mercy to go through pain and suffering. He's put us on this earth for us to fill a purpose, for us to spread good, for us to spread kindness, for us to spread love and joy, and just to have the best life that we can have. That's truly what I believed in, and that's what made me break my own glass ceiling. It's really hard, Amber. Oh my god, like I'm so scared of judgment. I cried on my first video, but people are gonna think of me codicitis doing this, and now here, and then the preconception societies preconception, so many things. But when I've discovered it's not about them, but it's about me, you know, kind of like pushing myself. If you look at the Olympics, right? Um, uh, what was that athlete's name? Uh Usin Bolt, that runner. He goes in nine Olympics, nine Olympics, nine out of nine gold. And he it wasn't about everyone else, it's me proving to myself that I'm the best. The same with Michael Phelps, the swimmer, who's one of the greatest Olympians. Um, he had, was it Sydney? Uh was it Sydney Olympic? I don't remember, but he had silver in that one. Silver, okay, silver in the Olympics. He's like, no, if it doesn't feel complete with me, I know I can go for gold. And he went for gold on the last Olympic that he went for. So it's always about them competing with themselves. The same with Michael Jordan, the same with Tom Brady, the same with the leaders. So I'm kind of like, okay, people are gonna do what they do, but what about me? This is what I can do, this is what I can control. Um, this is what I can shift, starts from me. And that's how I shift a lot of things in my life from social adversity, from many things, business, life, personal. It starts with me. For things to change, I must change first. So it comes back to me.

I I really hear the you either are growing, I believe that you're either growing or you're dying. Like it's like this like idea that people have that they're stagnant or they're staying in one place. It's like, no, like you're either moving, you're either growing and becoming more. Not like there's anything wrong with where you are right now, but you're either growing or you're you're declining. And um, and so all of those people that you mentioned, I'm also present to, you know, when I was studying neurolinguistic programming, one of the examples I use is Tiger Woods, as someone who like, you know, even the you see these people, they're the best in their field, and they keep going back to look for how can I, and it's not about anyone other than like the as you said, their desire to continue grow, continually grow themselves and find ways to um improve upon whatever the results that they've caused in the past, or maybe it's like not the results, it's the experience of causing the results to have, because I think that's an important point that people miss sometimes too. Like we're actually living our lives. Like day in and day out, we're living our lives. So it's not just about uh it's not just about what are the results that you're causing and are you causing the results that you want to cause, but are you actually enjoying the process of causing those results? Because you can be really successful based on society's definition of what success is, which is in and of itself, I think, something people I want people to challenge, like that there's not one way to be successful and happy as a human being, that we each get to create that. But you you could be all and you could be miserable and unhappy in your life, and like all we need to do is look at, you know, Anthony Bourdain, Robin Williams, you know, like Kate Mott, like all Kate Spade, like all of these people who, according to everything that objected, like from the outside looking in, we would say they're successful human beings, they you know dealt with whatever they dealt with and and did not love their life.

Absolutely. And that's that's the thing, isn't it, Amber? Like if you stay where you are, it takes a lot of energy to stay where you are because naturally you want to grow, you want to do something, right? That's if you look at plants, plants would grow and then die. That's the same with us. So if you kind of put a lid on where you are, you're kind of fighting it over and over and over again. Whereas if you take off the lid and just grow, you know, that's the freedom in it. So again, it's back to the what how you feel about yourself. Even Giselle Bunjan, which is Tom Brady's wife, um, wrote a book and said that she went through this horrible experience, right, with depression and everything, where she's one of the most beautiful women in the world. She was one of the most successful um model in the world. She's married to one of uh the best athletes in the world, but she still had all that. And then there was a turning point in her life. And then that's the thing, is when you decide, it's you who get to decide. Same with me. When I went through social adversity when I came here, there was a point when I just decide enough. This is how my life is gonna be, this is what's gonna make me happy. Look, it takes balls to wear hijab in America, right? It just takes balls to wear a hijab in America. Like uh, for those of you who can't see me, I'm a hijab-wearing Muslim woman. It takes balls to wear hijabs, okay, darlings. Um, and what throughout social adversity, I was like, oh my god, do I need to disassociate myself, right? Do I need to change my appearance? Do I need to take on my hijab? You know, so many things going on. But what I've discovered, and this is like kind of like my the idea that I propose for my tech talk, is that when you face with social adversity, the new normal isn't to change, blend, or transform because you're pleasing society. But for me, the revolution way to deal with um social adversity is to honing into your heritage and roots and have the authenticity to be to be yourself. You can see I'm still wearing the hijab, you're just not. And now when I go out, people are like, hello, hi, smile at me. And most of the time I don't even notice people. But it's just because I'm honing in to who I am and be authentic about it. People just get attracted or like you know, attracted to me, whether they feel my peace within myself, and as a result, they probably feel peaceful and safe around me because I feel peace. I feel at peace, confident, safe in who I am. And I'm guessing that's how those people just wave, they say hi, this ma. I even got honked down so many times, and people will wave at me as I walk around, and I don't even know these people. I mean, I'm not like a hot babe or anything, but still, you know, the transformation of owning who you are.

Well, I think, and that's exactly it, right? I mean, we get like we I think one of the things that most human beings don't understand is how powerful they are. Right. And so if you walk into a space and you are that, oh, I'm wearing a hijab or whatever it is about you that you think makes you different from someone else, and therefore I might be a barrier to your being accepted. If you walk into a space and that's what you're thinking about, then you're gonna attract what you're thinking about. Right. So that you walk into a space that you're you're willing, and I I like you said it, you know, it takes balls, it takes courage to be authentically yourself in a world that is really kind of like hellbent on having people all kind of be a certain way. And like that's the constant messaging is that you know, what it looks like to be successful and happy is this, and you should have this kind of life and and all of the shoulds that we live in inside of you know, and as humans. Yeah, it's exhausting. And you know, when you get when you show up in life as authentically yourself and just saying, this is me, and you can love me or you can hate me, you can feel how like, but that's nothing to do with me. However, you're responding to me is all about you and your experience in life. And I can actually just like love you, like this is for me. I can love you wherever you're at, you know, and and and not have your response to me mean anything about me. It's you dealing with whatever there is that you're dealing with over there.

And absolutely.

The other thing that you said that reminded me of something a woman named Adele said years ago in a course I was in cognitive behavior therapy. She said, You have to work hard to be unsuccessful. Yeah. And I was like, I heard that. And it was kind of like, you know, you have those moments in life. I I left the show NCIS and Denozo, like the lead character Gibbs would smack Tony in the back of the head. You have these moments where it's like you get smacked in the, like, you know, in the back of the head. It was like, oh my God, I have worked so hard in my life to be unsuccessful. Because I had it that being successful looked a certain way, and that there was a way, you know, versus like, now I'm I'm transitioning. And it's still a muscle that I'm building into this space of just saying, these are things I want. And then trusting God, the universe, whatever's sourceful for you to bring to you, right, the the clients to serve, the best way, the easiest way to be able to fulfill on what you say is important and matters to you, versus like the for most of my life, there was a lot of efforting, a lot of striving, a lot of trying to force outcomes, you know, and like cause things to happen versus like declaring an intention and saying, no, like this is who I exist for. I'm here to serve women and fulfilling their mission and vision around their purpose. I'm here to help them like use their resources to the best of their ability to, you know, make sure that they have a mindset that's a match for the kind of strategies that we're going to create for them to be able to accomplish that. Um and I don't have to go out and like in that, you know, not like that more masculine energy of forcing it.

Exactly, the force, because you know, you know, when you force something, it crashes, right? Because when you speed a car all the way and you push it all the way, there's likelihood you're gonna crash because you lose control. Um, so that's kind of like um obviously there are times when we need to be that person in order to shift something in our life. There are times you need to be at ease and flow, but you're absolutely spot on about that. Like it takes a lot of work to be unsuccessful. Like, you know, because we're not born to be unsuccessful. Like if you come back to biology, the one egg and three million spums, three million out of one made it and you become the winner. You're already born a winner. Or like, you know, when you're honored the baby, like God doesn't put worthy, not worthy stamp on your forehead. Like, there's nothing like a baby. It's truly like who you truly are. It's absolutely beautiful, it's absolutely powerful. We're born a winner. We absolutely are born a winner, but we just lost it. If you look at the kids, how they work, how they think, they're absolutely fearless and full of freedom of self-expression. Like they would really go out for it. Like, I'll give you an example. Like, my son was on a scout, you know, scouts they help to sell the popcorn thing, right? To make money. And then, you know, we went to a store, we set it up, they got to sell the popcorns and everything. And I I didn't want to go, Ember, because I'm like, all people gonna say no to my son. I can't take it, you know. But you know, I went there, I sat in the corner, and then the scouts leader trained them on what to say. So, you know, my son just went, Hey, do you want to buy a popcorn for this, this, this? And then they're like, No, no, no. I'm like, I just wanted to cry. But my son was like, whatever, I'll ask the next person. I'll ask the next person. And he did with no attachment, and he made the most money that day. So it just shows that as children, like when we're three of our blocks, we're the best salesperson there is. You know, like we're the best self-enrollment um person there is. We just we've already had it within us. We've already had it. We just have to figure out a way to unleash it and unblock it and activate it.

Yeah, it really is like, you know, what I'm hearing is this journey of unbecoming, like unlearning all of the things like, you know, that that we learned along the way that kind of disconnect us from people that that have us like think that life looks a certain way or has to be a certain way, and and and all of that, you know, it's our I um I could talk to you forever. And I'm so excited to be coming to California and getting to meet you in person and Michelle and just like really looking at to the future and like how can I you support and empower you and what you're up to and like working with you in what whatever we want to create, you're incredible. And just thank you. I really want to honor and acknowledge you for being someone who like has continually put yourself at issue inside of a commitment to empower a woman and you know, and and the ripple effect of that, because this is what we know when women are empowered and living their best life, everyone wins. Men win, children win, society wins. And so, like the the difference, like you will never know, like you will never fully know the difference that you have made and continue to make in the world. And just thank you for being someone who is uh who who gets out of bed every morning and with everything that you do, and being a mom and a wife and all of the different ways in which you serve, just you know, really thank you for that commitment. And I really loved having this time with you this morning.

Thank you so much, Amber, and accept the acknowledgement wholeheartedly and bring it to my heart. And thank you so much for allowing me the pleasure and the platform to share my words of wisdom, my vision. And I hope it'll be of value to you and to your listeners in moving forward to your life and truly be owning the queen to your queendom. Like I'm passing on the vibe that I got from the queen of England to everybody that is listening out there.

There you go. Nothing else needs to be said. Go out and regardless, like take, you know, whether you're a man or a woman, whoever's listening to this, go, you know, take it wherever it lands for you.

Yes.

Go out in life and be the queen in your queendom. Is the heart thank you so much for everyone listening. Thank you for joining us, and we'll see you next week. Thanks.

Thank you so much for joining us for this week's episode. For show info, visit what wouldamberdo.com. And for information about Amber Howard and Associates' offerings and services, visit amberhowdenc.com.